Moving On
by Michiru's Mirror
Summary: Chapter Thirteen: Shikamaru and Temari go to battle, Naruto and Sasuke butt heads, and Kiba is found...again. NaruSaku, ShikaTema, various others
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story itself.

Warning: This story takes place in the future of the Naruto timeline. That means some characters are dead and some are very different from how they currently are in the story. I hate character bashing, so no character is dead or changed because I'm trying to bash them.

Moving On

Chapter One

By Michiru's Mirror

* * *

"So we might as well get married."

Sakura choked on her wine. That wasn't even close to what she'd thought Naruto was going to say.

Sakura put her glass down on the table and examined her long-time lover's face. Naruto looked tense and tired just as he had for the past six months. Sakura had been able to tell that something had been wrong with him because of that uncharacteristic tension, but she knew him well enough to know that if he didn't want to talk about his problems he simply wouldn't, not even with her.

So she had told him that she was there to listen if he needed to talk, then waited while he had mulled over whatever was on his mind. When he had suddenly appeared in her office at the _Konoha_ hospital that afternoon, asking if she wouldn't mind leaving work early so they could have a night out, Sakura knew he was ready. She'd cleared the time off with Tsunade—the hospital was, luckily, having a slow night—and followed Naruto to one of the swankiest restaurants in Konoha.

Sakura had been awed as she walked through the door. Marble posts stood proudly outside the carved wooden doors; inside lanterns hung along the walls setting a soft, romantic atmosphere. Naruto had never had a romantic bone in his body, and so Sakura had felt more than a little apprehensive as he'd ordered expensive wine. What horrible thing was Naruto going to say that made him think that he had to butter her up this much? The ambiance of this place was so spectacular, it was a shame it was ruined by the mood.

Sakura sighed. If Naruto looked this tired, and had had this much trouble articulating his marriage proposal, it couldn't be what he really wanted. The question was, then, why was he asking her?

"Well, is that what you want?" Sakura asked him.

"It just seems like it's time—"

"I'm not asking you if it seems like it's time," Sakura gently interrupted, "I'm asking you if it's what you _want_."

Naruto paused, the frown lines marring his forehead growing deeper as he chewed that question over. "Well…I love you."

Sakura smiled, honestly touched. "I love you too. But is marriage what you want?"

Naruto sighed and looked so sad that Sakura had to restrain herself from running around the white-clothed table and hugging him. "You're not just going to let me get away with this, are you?"

Sakura grinned, mischievously this time. "Nope. Since when have I ever let you get away with bullshit?"

"Point." Naruto smiled affectionately. "But…well…do _you_ want to get married?"

"Not even a little," said Sakura.

She wound up backtracking quickly at the look of hurt on Naruto's face. "I don't mean it like that! I love you, and I love our life together—it's just, why try to mess with what we have? I'm running _Konoha_ Hospital pretty much on my own, and I have so many good friends, and I have you and I'm so happy with you now. Why would I want to improve on perfection?"

Naruto was nodding and Sakura was pleased to see some of the tension ease out of his face. "Yeah, that's kinda what I've been thinking too. It's just…don't you think it's time? We're thirty-five and we've been together for…uh…"

"Eighteen years," said Sakura with narrowed eyes. If he forgot their anniversary again, she would not be held responsible for her actions.

"Right. And pretty much everyone else in our class who isn't dead is married now—or, well, divorced, but they've been married. I just wonder if we're stuck in a rut," said Naruto.

"I understand," said Sakura, and she did. "I remember when I was twelve, I was sure I'd be married with at least five kids by now."

Naruto grinned. "You were sure you'd be married to _Sasuke_ with at least five kids by now."

"Well yeah," said Sakura, blushing. "But now that I'm here, I'm just really, really content with what I have. We're already living together so it doesn't seem like things would change too much. But marriage brings on…obligations…"

"Like kids?" asked Naruto.

"Right," said Sakura. She paused, and then: "Do…do you want kids?"

"In theory? Yes," said Naruto. "But in reality…when would we have time? We barely get a night to ourselves once every month or two as it is now. ANBU captain and Head Medic of _Konoha_ are not positions that give free time. I'm sure we could afford a nanny, but what's the point of having a kid if you don't raise it?"

"True enough," said Sakura. "If there were one thing I _would_ change about my life now, it would be seeing more of you. But you work so hard to make time for me in between your missions as it is…it makes me happy that you want to see me that much." Sakura reached across the table and took Naruto's hand in her own. The couple took a moment to just grin at each other across the candle on their table and be happy. There had been far too few moments like this over the last few years.

They were interrupted by the arrival of the food; vegetarian lasagna for Sakura and fettuccini for Naruto. Sakura giggled under her breath. Noodles. Even here, he just had to have noodles. They dug in, and spent the next fifteen minutes just enjoying their food.

"Listen," said Sakura once she'd finished. "I know this sounds corny but why don't we take this one day at a time? You're the _Hokage's_ official apprentice so you're going through training hell right now, and as the new Head Medic I'm still organizing things at the Hospital so the next year is going to be crazy for me. Maybe now's just not a good time. I have a few good childbearing years left to me, especially with all the medical and fertility _jutsu_ Tsunade-_shishou_ has stuck into my head over the past five years."

Naruto wondered if Tsunade wasn't trying to tell them something.

"Let's let things settle down, and then we'll see what we feel like when life isn't so hectic, okay?" said Sakura.

Naruto nodded eagerly. He didn't know what he'd done to deserve the woman sitting across from him (and looking adorable with a dot of tomato sauce stuck to the side of her lips), but he was grateful, whatever it was. They had their whole lives ahead of them—if it got too late to have their own biological children, there were always dozens of orphans who needed good homes.

Getting up and sliding around the table, Naruto cupped a surprised Sakura's chin in his hand and tilted her head upwards. He leaned down and licked the stray tomato sauce from the side of her mouth, enjoying the way Sakura sucked in her breath at the stimulation.

"Well, that's one problem solved," said Naruto, letting his voice lower into the growl he knew Sakura loved. "Now there's the problem of just how you're going to move tomorrow given how many times I'm going to make love to you tonight."

"Naruto!" Sakura whispered, astonished but obviously pleased. "We're in public!"

Yes indeed, thought Naruto as he paid the bill and rushed Sakura home, that was one problem solved…but not the only problem. He had lost his nerve after all.

When Sakura had mentioned that Naruto was the _Hokage's_ apprentice, she had missed the scowl that had flashed across Naruto's face. He was glad, and had in fact made an effort to get the look off his face before his perceptive lover could pick up on it.

Life was confusing, more confusing then he'd ever thought it would be as a child. By this age, he was going to be married to Sakura and be the _Hokage_, he'd known it at the age of twelve as certainly as he'd known his name was Uzumaki Naruto. But now that he was an adult and had both those things in his grasp, he wasn't sure if he wanted them…either of them.

Sakura had been all right about not wanting to marry yet, thank God. But who could Naruto possibly talk to about whether or not he wanted to be the _Hokage_?

* * *

Whenever Naruto wanted to keep from thinking about anything serious, he went to visit the Akimichi household. This surprised him, because he never thought of Chouji's house as the funnest place in _Konoha_ to be, but the truth was that Chouji and Ino were the only people Naruto knew who were actually living the dream of Happily Ever After.

When the two had married in their mid twenties, _Konoha_ as a whole had been shocked. Chouji's friends wondered what the hell he'd been thinking marrying such a loud-mouthed high-maintenance bimbo. Ino's friends wondered what the he'll _she'd_ been thinking marrying such a fatass wimpy guy.

But ten years and three children down the line the two were the most stable couple _Konoha_ had seen since Asuma and Kurenai. Chouji's patience let him put up with Ino's nagging in a way most men couldn't, and his kindness made Ino feel loved in a way she'd never felt before in her life. Now, after three children and the passing of time Ino had grown several sizes out from what she used to be, and gleefully told every other woman who had been dumped for gaining a few pounds that her Chouji couldn't have cared less. He adored his wife fat as much as he had adored her thin, and the two seemed to be happy on a daily basis in a way that Naruto had never seen another family manage.

Naruto enjoyed going over there because it gave him hope for himself and Sakura, and for the fulfillment of his dreams. True, Chouji and Ino's dream of playing house was a lot simpler than his of being acknowledged as _Hokage_, but they had achieved it nonetheless. He found it inspiring.

Besides, Chouji was just a great guy to hang out with and Ino turned out to be a surprisingly good cook.

Before taking Sakura out to dinner Naruto had gone to see them, but the visit wasn't meant to be. Naruto walked up to the sprawling (and rusting) black gates that closed the home of the Akimichi clan off from the rest of _Konoha_ and found them locked tight against him.

This was so fucking unfair! He was in pain, damnit! He was confused and his brain hurt from all the thinking he was being forced to do, and his friends had locked their doors against him! Fifty lashes for both Chouji and Ino!

Oh, he shouldn't have thought that. That thought lead to thoughts of Chouji trussed up like a hyperactive horse in a stable with Ino standing behind him holding a whip and wearing some truly interesting underwear. She might have gained a few pounds, but the woman still had the best breasts next to Tsunade herself…

But even thoughts of Ino's breasts couldn't make the melancholy go away, for it had sat heavy on Naruto's shoulders for months and only grew worse with time. How could he say what he was thinking? Even with Sakura Naruto's throat would close up and shame would swell in his chest until he almost passed out every time he tried to tell her what was wrong. Maybe it was worse with her because she had such faith in him—there was no doubt in her mind that he would become _Hokage_. How could he doubt himself when she believed in him so strongly?

No training, no meditation and no amount of beating himself up over his insecurity was making the feeling anything but stronger. Naruto felt that he was going mad, and he didn't have a clue of how to stop it.

He walked to _Konoha _Hospital to ask Sakura on a date.

* * *

Part of being the _Hokage's_ official apprentice was spending hours every day at the _Hokage's_ office studying. Naruto had never liked studying, and hated it as much in his thirties as he had in his teens. Still, when Tsunade had told him two years ago that she planned to step down soon and name him her apprentice, Naruto had eagerly agreed to clear his schedule for training.

His thoughts on what that training would be were romantic and exciting. He would learn powerful techniques to blow away the strongest of opponents, study the dark secrets of rival hidden villages and learn whole new _o-iroke no jutsu_ to kick Konohamaru's ass with.

The reality had been such a let down that Naruto had yet to recover from it. On the first day of training he had bounced up the stairs into the _Hokage's_ office in a manner that was entirely unbecoming of an adult only to have a mountain of paperwork dropped into his arms.

"_Baa-chan_, what's this?"

"What does it look like?" Tsunade said, clearly amused at the look on his face. "It's paperwork. Come on, my staff have sorted those missions by rank and now we have to decide what teams get to take them."

And so that was what they did. Naruto sat on a wobbly wooden stool in a dusty corner of the Hokage's office for so long that his back began to ache and made checkmarks until his fingers went numb. He showed Tsunade his choices only to have her shake her head, tell him why none of his ideas could work, and sent him back to the corner to do it again.

Even worse, the project was never anywhere near to being complete. He would finish one stack only to find that two more piles of new missions had taken its place.

Naruto was amazed that Tsunade could handle all of this—he'd never had work that exhausted him so completely in his life. The _Godaime_ _Hokage's__jutsu_ kept her looking as young as ever, but at seventy-one years of age she was clearly not moving as well as she had in the past. Too proud to use a cane, she had her chair subtly remodeled to ease her body's aches and yelled for her staff to get things for her a lot more. But she was still the healthiest old lady ever put on earth, and her brain was as sharp as it ever was. Very few people who had met Tsunade felt it was time for her to retire.

Well, if she could handle it, so could he. Naruto was more patient than he had been at twelve, and at first assumed this was Tsunade making sure he could do the worst and most boring part of the _Hokage_ job before giving him some real work. When a council of Fire Country elders was called together, Naruto felt really excited—here, finally he would see the _Hokage_ in action! She would talk about real missions with the elders and Naruto would get to go and help her take care of Important Country Business!

To his disappointment and disbelief, the mission topic turned out to be the problem Fire Country was having with wild pigs.

"_Baa-chan_," a very fed up Naruto said to Tsunade as they walked from the meeting to her office. "Look I know pigs are important and everything, but when are we going to get to the _real_ work?"

Tsunade had looked very surprised. "Real work?" she asked him. "What exactly do you think the _Hokage_ does?"

And that was when Naruto realized he didn't know. He knew that he'd loved the _Sandaime_ as a grandfather, and knew that becoming the _Hokage_ would mean that no one could ever doubt him again.

But what exactly did the _Hokage_ do? He'd never asked.

"But _Baa-chan_," Naruto said almost desperately. "It can't be just paperwork and meetings, can it? _Sandaime_ fought Orochimaru and _Yondaime_ fought the _kyuubi_…"

"Sure, and if a great battle that involves all of Konoha happens, you will be expected to lead the village. But Naruto, how often do you think a battle like that happens?"

She had a point. "And if it's not a big fight like that, the _Hokage_ isn't involved?"

"The _Hokage_ must go out of their way to _avoid_ being involved," said Tsunade. "The village looks to you for leadership and guidance and if you die they're left like a body without a head."

"So…so if Sakura-chan or somebody got into real trouble I couldn't go out and help them? I'd have to just sit behind my desk and let them die?"

Tsunade looked him squarely in the eye and said, "That's right. To protect the many, you're often expected to sacrifice one or two."

Oh the nightmares that day had given him! There was one where he stood in his office and looked down from his window to see Sakura being disemboweled and mutilated by _Iwagakure_ ninja. She was reduced to a bloody mass of screaming tissue and flesh while he stood and stared and did nothing. In another dream Sasuke was being beaten by Itachi. He had curled his body into a ball while Itachi kicked at him and broke his bones, and Naruto watched and made checkmarks on endless pieces of paper…and then he looked at the papers and realized he was writing with blood, blood that he knew somehow was Sasuke's…

The very idea of sacrificing someone he loved was such an anathema to Naruto that he had trouble functioning for days. Why? He would ask himself. What was the point of protecting a village where everyone you cared about was dead?

It was only days later that Tsunade had answered that question.

_Sunagakure_ was an ally to _Konoha_. Everyone knew that, and as a friend of Gaara Naruto was thrilled about it. But still, the attack that _Suna_ was planning on _Kirigakure_ was cruel and unnecessary, and Naruto couldn't understand why Tsunade wasn't at least sending a diplomat out to try and talk Gaara out of the bloody, pointless massacre.

"_Suna_ is our ally and _Kiri_ is not," Tsunade told him.

"But those are innocent people! Gaara says he's doing it in retaliation for a murder but he doesn't even know if _Kiri's_ government ordered the attack, does he? It could have been missing-_nin _or terrorists or people trying to set _Kiri_ up! He could at least go and talk to their _Kage_!"

"Yes, and that's what I'd do, but Gaara isn't a patient or forgiving man." Tsunade shrugged. "But he's our ally and so that's that."

"Just because he's our ally doesn't mean we have to let him do what he wants!" Naruto could feel himself turning red and couldn't stop himself. He could already see the mutilated bodies of women and children that would result from a full-scale slaughter.

"As long as he's not attacking us, that's exactly what it means," said Tsunade. She was leaning back behind her desk, her eyes narrowing as Naruto continued to be dense. "If we come under attack we'll need his help, Naruto. We can't ostracize him just because he's being unreasonable about something that means nothing to _Konoha_."

"Means nothing?" Never in his life could Naruto recall feeling so outraged. The idea that a woman he so looked up to was being this cold was just…unnatural! "Mothers getting raped in the streets and babies being used as target practice means _nothing_?"

Tsunade was looking at him as though she had never seen him before. "Oh Naruto," she said, and the disappointment in her voice surprised him into silence. What right did she have to be disappointed with him? "I never realized how little you understood."

She leaned forward before he could say a word, and reached into her desk to pull out several _kunai_. "Here, I'll show you."

In a typical display of decisiveness Tsunade brushed the paperwork off her desk with a single sweep of her arm. Shizune could clean it up later. Taking one shining _kunai _out of its holder, she stabbed it upright in the middle of her wooden desk. "This is _Konoha_."

She pulled out another _kunai _and stabbed it down next to the _Konoha kunai. _"This is _Suna_."

Another. "This is _Kiri_."

And another. "This is _Iwa_."

In the end Tsunade went through every village, friend and foe, that _Konoha_ had and Naruto saw that she had made those villages into a circle of _kunai_ around the _Konoha_ _kunai_. Naruto had to admit that _Konoha_ looked terribly lonely, surrounded by over a dozen other _kunai_ as it was.

"Now," said Tsunade. "You agree that for the most part, one village against one village would make a fair fight, right? Like when _Otogakure_ attacked. Each village has its share of _chuunin_, _jounin_, and many of them have one super-powerful hidden weapon like you or Gaara or Kisame or Itachi. With me so far?"

Naruto nodded, wary about where this might be going.

"Right. So. With allies, if, say _Oto_ and _Iwa_ and _Kiri_ were to team up and attack us, we would call our friends in _Suna_ and _Yuki_ to come help." As she spoke, Tsunade rearranged the _kunai _to illustrate her point. Touching three of the _kunai _and labeling them "_Oto_" "_Iwa_" and "_Kiri_," she moved them forward on her desk towards the _Konoha kunai_ standing proudly upright in the middle. Then she took the two _kunai _dubbed "_Suna_" and "_Yuki_" and moved them to stand beside the _Konoha kunai_ so that there were two rows of three _kunai _facing each other. "Basically, this would make a fair fight. Got it?"

Naruto nodded.

"But if _Konoha_ were to lose its allies—" Tsunade plucked the _Suna_ and _Yuki_ kunai from the table, and _Konoha_ was again facing down three villages by itself.

"I know, _Baa-chan_, but—"

"I'm not finished," said Tsunade sharply. Naruto fell silent, looking at Tsunade from across her desk and waiting. "Now, do you remember what happened after _Oto_ attacked us? How, even during reconstruction, _Konoha_ continued to accept missions?"

"Yeah…"

"Do you remember why?"

"Sure," said Naruto. "To keep ourselves from looking weak."

"Which keeps us from being a target to villages which are currently neutral, but would jump at the chance to take us down and learn our secrets," said Tsunade. She grabbed a handful of the other _kunai _from the table and began to arrange them behind _Oto, Iwa_ and _Kiri_. "If we lost our allies we'd be alone, and that would be a great weakness. We'd suddenly be facing not only our enemies, but power-hungry and ambitious villages that would see a chance to boost their power." The _Konoha_ _kunai_ was suddenly looking noticeably outnumbered.

"And on top of that," said Tsunade before Naruto could get his thoughts together, "The allies who we snubbed would be angry that we'd been bad allies to them. It's entirely possible that they'd join the hostile forces against us for revenge, just like Gaara is doing now to _Kirigakure_."

"Gaara wouldn't do that—"

"Even saying he wouldn't, how about the high-ranking ninja in his council? Gaara won't be _Kazekage_ forever," Tsunade said.

Now the _Konoha kunai_ was facing off against over a dozen other _kunai_ on Tsunade's desk, and even Naruto had to admit that he couldn't see any way for his beloved village to overcome quite such overwhelming odds.

"But…" he said finally. "But it's not right…" All the logic that Tsunade had given him somehow just wasn't enough. He saw those women and children again, and he felt his heart clench painfully. "All those children…"

Looking at him sadly, Tsunade pulled all of the _kunai_ from her desk, save the _Konoha_ one. Never letting her gaze leave his face, Tsunade raised those _kunai_…and dropped them on the _Konoha kunai_, knocking it over and burying it.

"If you save their children," she said, "you will kill ours."

Naruto had never forgotten what he had seen that day, that one _kunai_ buried beneath the weight of over twelve others.

Could he do that? Could he ever do what Tsuande was doing and just sit by and watch people be tortured and killed when he had the power to stop it?

He didn't know. But it was becoming very clear to him that if he couldn't, he could never be _Hokage_.

* * *

A/N

Next chapter we see how Sasuke is doing!

What do you guys think? Comment please, and feel free to let me know what you liked and didn't.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: If I owned it, I'd be fired by now for writing this way.

BIG FAT WARNING: Sasuke does not look good in this chapter. I like him, and I'm not trying to bash him. He's going to grow up, but he's going to have a bumpy ride along the way, so be prepared.

Moving On

Chapter Two

By Michiru's Mirror

* * *

It had taken Sasuke much longer than he'd intended to kill his brother, but he finally managed it late in his thirty-first year.

After killing Itachi, Sasuke had been left with only one goal: the restoration of the Uchiha clan. At age thirty-two, he had returned to _Konoha_ and told Tsunade that he was going to set up a harem of good, strong ninja females in the old Uchiha district. They would have to be under the age of twenty for maximum breeding potential, and give up active ninja duty so they could live full time in the compound to raise his babies and help restore his clan to greatness.

Sasuke had been surprised when an obviously amused Tsunade granted her permission. He had expected more resistance from a woman with such obviously feminist leanings, and had in fact wanted to avoid asking her at all. Unfortunately he was forced to, as betraying _Konoha_ the way he had had left him in very hot water. Now he had to ask for permission to do anything more complicated then going to the bathroom.

He was grateful to have Tsunade's okay, but he couldn't understand why she seemed so willing to let him make pets out of her best female warriors—for he intended to ask only the best.

Sasuke very quickly came to realize not only why Tsunade had given him permission, but why she'd found his request so funny: strong ninja females with thriving careers and their pick of mates in a village that had almost two-thirds as many men as women were not willing to become concubines. They ranged from amused to offended to downright disgusted at the very idea, and after Sasuke had been punched for the sixth time he began to realize that he hadn't thought his plan through quite as thoroughly as he'd figured.

Sasuke had been astounded to realize this. Was he not the rich, handsome Uchiha heir? He had his own fan club for Pete's sake, and many of the women who had hit him had been in it! It had never even crossed his mind that it might be a challenge to make women submit to him. As long as you kept a woman clothed in modern fashion and satisfied her sexually, she was supposed to be content.

There were some females who were happy to flock to him—childish, air headed girls who desired to become the trophies of a handsome, rich husband. The advantage of these was their youth and their stupidity. They would bear him many children and not complain because they didn't have the intelligence to do so. But those same qualities acted against him because it meant that they wouldn't be able to handle the staggering task of rebuilding the Uchiha clan financially and socially. Worse, such girls were universally weaklings. They would bear him pathetic children, and wouldn't be able to raise them properly with air between their ears.

The only acceptable females willing to give up everything he asked for wanted monogamy in return. Sasuke was left with a choice: one wife who would bear him good, strong heirs and help him restore his clan, or a harem of airheads who would give him the quantity of offspring that he desired but were useless for anything else.

After about a year of searching every avenue, interviewing every available _kunoichi_ and going through the Uchiha finances with a fine-tooth comb, Sasuke decided to settle with one woman. He chose a fifteen year old Hyuuga from the academy; when Sakura asked him why Sasuke said it was for her fertility, bloodline limit, and the link she could offer him with the Hyuuga clan. She had pointed out to him that childbirth was dangerous to girls under the age of eighteen, but Sasuke was unconcerned. He could afford good medical care for her, and with just one wife he couldn't waste any time. A woman could have three children with a fourth on the way in three years. If he took a bride who was eighteen, he'd lose those three heirs.

The girl herself—Sakura thought her name was Momoko—had been thrilled to give up her life and career for Sasuke. Sure he was taciturn and cold and said he didn't see her as anything other than his baby machine, but that was just because he'd never been shown love. Once she made it clear to him that she adored and worshipped him he would snap out of it and come to appreciate her.

Sakura wound up liking the girl out of pure pity. At age twelve she had believed the same thing, and if Sasuke hadn't left _Konoha_ the way he had she probably still would have believed it at Momoko's age. Watching the girl caused a stab of almost physical pain to savage Sakura's gut. She never appreciated Naruto more than when she saw Momoko fawning over Sasuke as he told her how annoying she was.

All of _Konoha_ expected little baby Uchihas to begin popping out a year after the marriage at the latest. No one thought that two years would go by with no children, and yet that was exactly what happened.

So when Sasuke stepped into Sakura's _Konoha_ Hospital office on the morning after her date/counseling session with Naruto, she knew what was coming. Sasuke had either come to her as a medic to ask for help with Momoko's apparent sterility, or he had come to her as a nerd who knew everything about everything to ask about how to legally dump his useless baby machine by the roadside so he could get a new one.

Sakura groaned internally. She didn't need this. She'd woken up feeling so satisfied. Naruto had been as good as his word the night before, and the sex had been nice and sweet and fun. On top of that she'd been able to wake up naturally due to an unusually late starting shift and have breakfast with Ino for the first time in three months. She'd come to work content, happy and relaxed only to have the walking psychological disaster that was Uchiha Sasuke show up before she'd even gotten her morning coffee.

Sakura loved Sasuke more than anyone on earth except for Naruto himself, but there were definitely times that she didn't want to see him.

But she _did_ love him as a brother and teammate and friend, and so there was just no way she could abandon him in his hour of need. Though she was going to murder him if he hurt poor, deluded Momoko.

"Sasuke-kun," she greeted him. "I was just about to have some coffee. Do you want some?"

"Caffeine is bad for you," he said, but made no attempt to stop Sakura from going over to the little coffee maker on top of the file cabinets. "Can I sit down?"

"Of course."

Neither of them spoke as Sasuke took his seat and Sakura poured coffee into her mug. Sakura was surprised, as Sasuke had never been one to refrain from speaking his mind.

"So," Sakura said, moving behind her desk with her large coffee mug. "What I can I do for you?"

To her utter astonishment, Sasuke actually looked nervous. He was tapping his knee, his forehead was creased, and he couldn't meet her gaze for the first time in living memory.

"Sasuke-kun?" said Sakura. She was growing worried.

"You know I need to rebuild my clan," said Sasuke abruptly. He began to tap his foot on the ground, refusing to look at her. "It's the most important thing in the world—the only thing I have left to do that matters. I'll do anything to see the Uchiha name brought back to glory. Anything."

Here it came. Sakura sighed and put down her coffee mug, hoping against hope that she could at least talk Sasuke into breaking the divorce to poor Momoko gently.

"I know, Sasuke-kun. I think—"

"Even," Sasuke interrupted and then paused. "Even if I have to humiliate myself."

Sakura paused. That definitely wasn't what she was expecting.

Suddenly Sasuke was glaring at her so fiercely that she was taken aback. For a second Sakura was almost afraid of the rage in his eyes. "This conversation won't leave this room, got it? If I find out you've told anyone, even that moron you sleep with—"

The fear left her then. This was just Sasuke and he had no right to talk to her like that. "Don't you threaten me! Both this office and my friendship with you are sacred Sasuke-kun. I don't break confidentiality either professionally or personally!"

Sasuke's gaze was cold, but he relaxed just slightly and leaned back in his chair. He owed her an apology, but Sakura knew better than to expect one.

"Okay," Sasuke said. Then, "Okay," again, like he was having trouble figuring out how to say anything else.

By now Sakura was growing alarmed. "Sasuke-kun, what is it? Are you in some kind of danger? Is Momoko-chan sick?"

There was a long pause.

"_I'm_ sick," said Sasuke at length. "It's me who's sick."

"Okay," said Sakura trying to be soothing. "That's fine, this is certainly the right place to come in that case. I'll just need you to describe your symptoms to me, and then we can figure out—"

"I think I'm impotent."

Sakura dropped her coffee mug.

* * *

It was the day of Naruto and Tsunade's Big Weekly Blowup.

Naruto wished it didn't have to be today. He'd woken up feeling so satisfied. The talk with Sakura had calmed his mind and the sex afterward had been the best they'd had all year. He had even gotten to wake up beside her, a rare pleasure given that she was almost always awake before him to attend to her hospital duties.

But the BWB happened when it happened, and over the past two years Naruto had learned that he couldn't stop it anymore than he could keep Sakura from being a _yaoi_ fan. Sometimes Naruto was able to hold it off until he and the _Godaime_ were in a secluded area, but today was not one of those days.

The worst part was that it wasn't just one fight like it had been last week. At that time Naruto had made the mistake of calling Tsunade "_Baa-chan"_ in front of a visiting ambassador and then had to duck quickly to avoid her fists.

_Never, never disrespect me like that in front of important visitors! _She had roared at him after the ambassador had left. _If I look like I can't control my staff I look weak, and didn't I tell you what would happen if other villages thought _Konoha_ was weak?_

No, this week it was two fights back to back, and it made last week look like a mild argument.

It had begun that morning when a young _chuunin_ medic had been brought in to be disciplined. Between Tsunade's harsh words and the poor girl's frightened squeaks, Naruto was able to make out that the girl was going to be punished…for saving her friend's life.

"Wait, wait, wait," Naruto said. "Why are you giving her shit for doing her job?"

Tsunade gave him the aggravated look she always gave him when she thought he'd said something stupid. "I'm giving her shit for _not_ doing her job you idiot. When she acted to save her friend she left her post, and that left the rest of her cell without their medic. To save this one friend she left three others defenseless—they could have died."

"Well did they die?" Naruto asked.

"No, thank God, but that's not the point. They could have."

"So she acted to save her friend, and _did_ save her friend, and nobody died and you're punishing her?"

Tsunade was almost literally gnashing her teeth. "That isn't the point! People might well see that this girl was lucky breaking the rules and try it themselves, but those rules are in place for a reason. We can't have people breaking them as they please!"

"So you're turning her into an example? She was just trying to save someone precious to her!"

"SHIZUNE!" Tsunade roared so loudly that both the terrified _chuunin_ and Naruto jumped. Shizune appeared in the doorway so quickly she must have broken something getting there. "Get this moron out of my sight before I bash his head in!"

Shizune firmly grasped the furiously spluttering Naruto's arm and lead him bodily from the office before he could make the situation worse. "Naruto-san," she said, "You cannot work in Tsunade-_shishou's_ office if you can't behave yourself. Arguments like that should be saved for when there aren't others in the room."

"Yeah, well. Maybe I won't work in her fucking office anymore then!"

Shizune's mouth fell open and strands of her graying hair fell into her eyes as she jerked back from Naruto's wrathful visage. For a moment the two _jounin_ stared at each other while Naruto's words sank in.

"You don't mean that," said Shizune quietly.

"…No, I guess I don't," said Naruto grudgingly, not at all sure that Shizune was right but saying what she wanted to hear anyway. He could hardly tell her the truth, that he didn't have a clue of what he wanted these days.

So he sat on a stool next to Shizune's desk and went back to making checkmarks on pieces of paper. But it was harder then before because he couldn't concentrate for the rage he felt at Tsunade and her cruelty.

Naruto did his best to use the breathing exercises Sakura had taught him to calm himself down and concentrate on the task at hand. If he was sloppy about which teams he assigned to which missions, he could get the three man cell or the client killed.

Naruto wasn't thrilled about the responsibility. He had never had any problem giving orders on the battlefield, one of the things that made him such an exceptional ANBU captain. If an order he gave went wrong he could fix it with his own hands on the spot. But here in an office with a pen, if he made a mistake other people had to clean up his mess…or die. The best he could do was concentrate and match a team or individual _shinobi_ to each mission as skillfully as he could.

He always hated it when an assassination mission came up. It was one thing if the target was a corrupt landlord bleeding his tenants dry, but just as often the corrupt landlord was the client hiring a ninja to kill somebody totally innocent.

Ninja were trained to be tools and ideally could do any job without emotion. In reality there were many _shinobi_, even ANBU, not suited to cold-blooded murder. It took a special person to be able to stare down a starving peasant who was trying to convince his fellows to stand up for the right to eat once a day and stab him to death.

Naruto grimaced as he uncovered just such a mission from his IN pile. Great, some poor sop from _Nami no Kuni_ named Inari was being targeted by a rich _daimyo_.

Wait.

Inari?

_Inari_?

Holy fuck!

Naruto jumped up abruptly enough to knock over his stool just as the door to Tsunade's office opened and the _chuunin_ from earlier came bursting out in tears.

Tsunade was hot on her heels, a murderous look twisting her lovely features into something terrible. "Uzumaki Naruto, you get your lopsided ass right back in here!"

"Forget that, _Baa-chan_! Take a look at this!" Naruto thrust the paper in her face.

Still scowling, but giving Naruto enough credit to assume that he wouldn't try to change the subject without a good reason, Tsunade snatched the paper and looked it over. "So?" she said.

Naruto felt anger stir inside of him before he remembered that the _Godaime_ had been away from the village during Team Seven's mission to _Nami no Kuni_. She wouldn't know who Inari was.

"The target boy—well, he's not a boy anymore, but he was—that guy is a former client and a friend to _Konoha_!"

Tsunade sighed. "Just because he was an employer once doesn't make him a friend, Naruto. He's just a former client, like you said. The client now is the _daimyo_ who's paying the bills."

And thus began the second Big Weekly Blowup of the day.

This was a nightmare. If he did nothing, Inari would die. If he went to save him, he'd put a political blight on _Konoha_ and the village would get a reputation for infighting. The only chance Inari had was for the _shinobi_ assigned to kill him to turn down the job. It was rare for that to happen, as refusing missions went on one's permanent record and brought shame.

But Naruto knew the man who had been given the assignment. There was little chance of talking him out of doing his job, but he had to try.

Naruto left Tsunade's office an hour early and went east towards Tanabe's _yakiniku_ restaurant.

* * *

"Oh Sasuke-kun, come on—"

"_Fuck you_."

"No, really, I'm sorry, I am!"

"Let. Me. Go."

"Sasuke-kun, if you'll just sit down—I didn't mean to laugh at you I was just so surprised—"

"I pity your other patients if you think that's acceptable."

"No, Sasuke-kun of course I don't and I'm really, really sorry! It's not the, uh, the impotence, it's that it's _you_, the man girls of all ages have wet dreams about, can't you see the irony? It's the irony that got me, that's all! Impotence isn't at all something to worry about, lots and lots of men have the problem!"

Sasuke finally stopped trying to knock Sakura away from him and instead looked at her as though trying to decide whether or not to trust her word.

"I'm serious," said Sakura firmly. Of course, most men who had the problem were many years older than Sasuke, but she didn't bother to tell him that. The way he was acting he might well go out and kill someone if he figured that out. "Come on Sasuke-kun just sit down. Please?"

Sasuke was giving her that resentful glare again. "If you laugh at me again…"

Sakura decided to let the threat go this time. She deserved it after laughing the way she had—after all, she'd be devastated if she went to a friend for help with a debilitating and embarrassing problem and got laughed at.

She nodded to show that she understood and moved back behind her desk. Cleaning up the remains of her mug gave Sasuke time to compose himself. Sakura didn't want coffee anymore anyway—she was pretty well awake after hearing what she had.

"All right," said Sakura once she'd thrown the shattered remnants of the mug in the trash. "Now, what makes you think you're impotent?"

The way Sasuke twitched at the word _impotent_ convinced Sakura not to say it again.

"I've never had an erection in my life, that's a good clue," he snapped.

Sakura understood that his anger wasn't directed towards her, not really. Being mortified often made people angry, and he wasn't the first or the last patient who'd take his frustration out on his doctor.

So she just nodded, fully into Professional Mode. "And I assume you've tried out ways to…help yourself along?"

"Before marriage I never bothered—hell, I never even thought about it—but since Momoko yes, I've tried everything. Pills, herbs, special food…she and I tried changing the mood, the position, the time of day, and I've been to four of the most expensive prostitutes in Fire Country who apparently never had an unsatisfied customer until I came along."

Sakura's first instinct was to bash Sasuke's head in for cheating on his wife, but the way he was sunk into his seat tapping his knee and refusing to meet her gaze made her so sorry for him that she couldn't do it.

"Well, let me ask you this, and please don't get mad at me…but could it be that you're not attracted to girls?"

Sasuke stared at her frostily. "What does being attracted have to do with it? I'm not 'attracted' to anyone."

…Huh?

"Wait, you're not attracted to anyone at all? Male or female?"

"No," said Sasuke.

"Of any age?"

"No."

"Dead or alive?"

Sasuke was looking increasingly irritated. "What does that matter? I don't get along with people, you know that."

"It's just…" Sakura paused, trying to think of how to word her next question. "Sasuke-kun, have you ever _wanted_ to have intercourse? Not even with a particular person, but just felt the desire to have sex?"

Sasuke frowned at her. "Of course not. I was always too busy for that."

Sakura's mind boggled. "Sasuke-kun, usually it's not about being busy. I mean a busy guy who's putting all of his effort into his work will see a decrease in his sex drive, but no matter how involved he is, to have never once felt any sexual desire at all is…uncommon."

Sasuke looked genuinely surprised. "Really?"

"Yes, particularly through your teenage years and early twenties." Sakura frowned and thought back through the cases of impotence she'd seen in her decades as a medic. "Let me ask you one more thing. You have no attraction at all to any man or woman, right?"

Sasuke nodded.

"But I remember when I was really little I grew my hair out because I'd heard you had a thing for girls with long hair. Was that just a rumor?"

Sasuke looked irritated again. "Why are you trying to boost your ego now? You're too old Sakura, I told you."

_He's just lashing out because he's embarrassed…you can't kill him…_ "Just answer me."

Sasuke sighed, scowling deeper. "I think so. I remember…when I was seven or so I saw this teenage girl with really long hair walk by me and…"

"You felt attracted to her?"

Sasuke was obviously becoming increasingly uncomfortable. "I suppose."

Sakura leaned back and considered what she'd been told. If Sasuke had liked girls when he was a child but stopped after his family had been killed, that suggested a psychological problem rather than a physical one. If that was the case he'd need extensive therapy, and even that might not help if the damage was deep enough. God help the Uchiha clan in that case.

Oh well, no need to worry about that until she determined whether or not there was a physical problem. "All right Sasuke-kun," said Sakura as she stood up from behind her desk. "I'm going to give you over to the nurses for some simple tests—"

"_NO_." Sasuke's voice was so forceful Sakura wound up taken aback for the third time in ten minutes. "Sakura, you can't tell anyone. No nurses, no other doctors—I don't even want any paperwork."

Sakura blinked rapidly. "But Sasuke-kun, that goes against every Hospital regulation…and if you're going off of my opinion only you'll get much worse results than if you talk to a few doctors and medics with expertise in impo…uh…male problems."

"I don't care." Sasuke had his mouth set into a thin line and his arms crossed over his chest like a pouting child fighting his mother over eating his vegetables. "I'll pay you, you won't be working for free. But no one but you can know about this."

Sakura was almost flattered until she remembered that Sasuke hadn't planned on telling her either. He'd only come forward out of desperation.

Sakura calculated the hours of overtime and amount of sneaking around with Hospital equipment she was going to have to do and almost wanted to cry. It had been less than a year since she had been made Head Medic, and in between setting everything up and missions she was already having trouble making time for Naruto and Ino. This was going to ensure that she wouldn't to be sleeping at home (or at all) for at least the next month.

But she looked at Sasuke's face and simply couldn't say no. He was more humiliated then he'd ever thought he could be, but more importantly he was terrified. Since the age of eight he'd dedicated his every waking moment to the needs of his clan. He had driven away friends, destroyed people's lives and ripped his own soul into shreds in the pursuit of that one target. Now, almost three decades later, it was beginning to look like all of his effort was going to have been for nothing. A ninja rarely lived past his forties—hell, a lot of them didn't make it into their thirties—and that meant Sasuke was running out of time to achieve the only goal he'd ever set for himself. The Uchiha clan would disappear into history lessons that children would sleep through and he himself would be remembered as a failure that wasted his life in pursuit of an impossible dream.

Sasuke was so frightened of this that he was throwing away his pride, and Sakura just couldn't bring herself to turn him down.

So she put her head in her hands for a moment, fighting back tears of frustration and helplessness before meeting Sasuke's gaze again.

"All right," she said in a weary voice. "You need to come back tomorrow after six o'clock. I'll be waiting for you in here to do some tests. If you complain at all about the type of tests or my methods or can't meet my schedule I swear to God I'll kick you out and leave you on your own. Got it?"

Sasuke agreed without a whimper, and though he didn't say it out loud, the look of gratitude on his face was very clear. She was suddenly exhausted enough to sleep for days.

Maybe she could use some coffee after all.

* * *

Naruto arrived at Tanabe's _yakiniku_ restaurant just as it opened for dinner. The most popular spot for _yaki_-anything in all of _Konoha_, Tanabe's never failed to have lines of people waiting outside the door every night. By the time Naruto arrived the small wooden building was packed to capacity and he was forced to squeeze between a dozen small tables before he reached the one he was aiming for.

Just as he had for several years, Naruto had trouble reconciling the Inuzuka Kiba sitting before him with the one he'd used to know. Grizzled and scarred, Kiba was a one-armed, one-eyed wrinkled man who looked some twenty years older than he was. Perhaps what Naruto had the most trouble adjusting to was the absence of Kiba's loyal companion Akamaru, who had died seven years before.

He wasn't the only one. In a single week Kiba lost Akamaru to an exploding tag, his lover Shino to enemy _Oto_ ninja, and a dozen members of his family to an accident during a diplomatic mission including his beloved mother and elder sister.

Though it broke the hearts of all Kiba's friends, no one was the slightest bit surprised when Kiba suffered a complete nervous breakdown and had to be carted off to _Konoha_ Hospital for round-the-clock care. He wasn't released for a year, an astonishingly long time for a ninja. There were more than a few grumbles about the "spoiled" Inuzuka acting as though he was the only one who had ever lost a loved one. None of the Rookie Nine were among the detractors, but the complaints still reached Kiba's ears. The guilt, when added to the grief, made it impossible for Kiba to regain his old carefree nature.

He was released from Konoha Hospital a bitter and broken man. Where before he had constantly been mistaken for being a decade younger than he was, he was now always thought to be in his late forties at the very earliest. Dark circles never left his remaining eye, and wrinkles spread all over his once-handsome face.

That by itself wouldn't have bothered too many people; they would certainly rather Kiba lost his looks than his life. Yet it seemed he _had_ lost his life, for Kiba no longer socialized with his friends and never smiled. He could be found in the same restaurant each night, sitting for hours and staring at the wall, oblivious to the world around him.

Tonight was no exception. He sat squeezed into the corner of Tanabe's, surrounded by chatting, happy people that he didn't even seem to realize were there. His _yakiniku_ dish sat before him, and he poked at it with chopsticks the way Naruto would a disgusting insect.

"Hey man," said Naruto. He helped himself to the seat across from Kiba, since he knew better than to think an invitation would come.

Kiba looked up and blinked; Naruto gave him a moment to return to reality. "Oh…Naruto. Hey."

Kiba was polite enough to the other members of the Rookie Nine…usually. But Naruto knew better than to make friendly conversation when Kiba no longer had the patience for it. Just weeks ago he'd left poor Ino in tears when she tried to bring him a pie she'd made.

"Kiba, I need to ask you a favor."

Kiba shrugged and popped a piece of _yakiniku_ into his mouth. He said nothing.

"I need you to turn down the mission you've just been issued."

Kiba shook his head. "Nope."

"Kiba, it's important! The target is a friend of mine."

"Sorry."

And that was it. Kiba returned to his food, not even gracing Naruto with the hard, cold gaze that reminded Naruto so eerily of Sasuke twenty years gone. Perhaps Kiba needed the money he'd get from this mission, or maybe he didn't want the black mark that would go on his record should he refuse. Naruto never knew because Kiba didn't bother to explain. He just gave his one-word refusal and turned away as though Naruto were useless trash instead of his friend.

Naruto knew, even as he lunged across the table, that he was making a mistake. Attacking Kiba would not keep him from killing Inari. Locking his hands around Kiba's throat would not snap Kiba out of the vacuum he'd sealed himself into after losing his loved ones. Screaming his frustration into Kiba's face wasn't going to make him wake up from the nightmare his life had become.

But it felt sinfully good.

* * *

A/N

To answer the FAQ I know I'm gonna get:

First of all no, this story will have no yaoi. If Hugh Hephner and Trent Reznor can say they've "experimented with bisexuality" Kiba can too, but since Shino's dead we're not gonna see it. Poor boys…I'll have to write them into a happy fic after this.

Second of all yes, this story is 100 NaruSaku, but things aren't always going to be happy. They're also going to have friends, so they won't just interact with each other.

Third of all I really do see Sasuke as asexual which is why I wrote him that way; sexual problems are a common enough trauma reaction. His trauma has made him selfish, logical and too cold and damaged to feel fully—an ice cube. He's older now, so he's grown up in some ways, and he's going to be developed as the story goes on. I like him and want him to come out well in the end, and since I'm the author he will! HA! (All of the above goes for Kiba too, minus the asexual bit.)

Fourth I have just been graced with a surprise visit from a friend so I won't be able to do any writing for a few days. I'll get the next chapter out as soon as I can--the story is pouring out of me so it should be out in a couple weeks at the most.

Review, please, feel free to tell me I suck as long as you tell me WHY.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Why the hell would I be writing fan fiction if I owned Naruto?

Moving On

Chapter Three

By Michiru's Mirror

* * *

Konohagakure wasn't anybody's idea of a tourist stop in Fire Country. The most obvious deterrent to a visitor was the way it was teeming with trained assassins, but there was also the fact that it just wasn't a nice place to look at. Konoha consisted mostly of large rickety apartment complexes for most of its ninja, small dilapidated houses for its few civilians, and hole-in-the-wall dining establishments with all the sanitation of your local bus stop bathroom designed for a ninja on the go.

Still, there were a few charming spots. The Hokage monument was always a popular site when a visiting relative came. The Konoha movie theater usually had a fantastic array of films from art house to the latest Icha Icha blockbuster. Also Saigo's Last Stand, the popular restaurant of Mizu no Kuni cuisine, sported beautiful marble pillars and ambiance to make even a rich daimyo marvel.

That was about it, however, and whenever anyone in Fire Country suggested taking a vacation to a friend, Konoha was never a serious consideration.

But that point of view was made by people from _outside_ Konoha. From Naruto's perspective, made as it was from inside his jail cell, Konoha looked liked heaven. At this point his spider-infested apartment looked like a five star hotel and the roadside stand that sold indefinable goop by the Hokage monument would have been as good to him as Ichiraku ramen.

He couldn't say he was happy when Sakura showed up to get him out though. It would be a relief to get out of his cell, but the murder written across her face was a lot more frightening then concrete and steel bars.

"Uh…ma'am, Haruno-sama, we can't really release him to anyone but family…"

That was a young chuunin guard who gave a slight squeak before falling silent as Sakura turned her enraged gaze from Naruto's sheepish face to his own. Despite being considerably taller then her, the guard was obviously cowed by Sakura's presence. Naruto didn't blame him.

"Do you know who he is?" Sakura said.

"Y-yes, Haruno-sama, of course…"

"Then you know that he has no family in the legal sense. Get him out."

"B-but…I'll have to clear it with my…my…" Naruto had to admire the man's guts, but he didn't think he was actually going to win this one, did he?

"Do you know who_ I _am?"

"Yes, Haruno-sama, you're—"

"And do you know what I can do to you?"

The poor guard's voice sounded full of helium. "Yes, Haruno-sama."

"Then let him out. Now. Before I completely lose my patience."

Naruto was so thoroughly enjoying the performance that for a moment he forgot just how much trouble he himself was in. When the door to his cell swung open and Sakura's attention returned to him, though, he remembered.

It was incredible how the green eyes he had compared to fresh leaves in his more romantic moments could turn into chunks of emerald glass sharp enough to cut his head off at times like these…

* * *

"What the good goddamn hell were you _thinking_?"

"Oh come on, Sakura-chan!" Naruto had been doing his best to explain, really he had, but when you were jogging ahead of your girlfriend who kept smacking the back of your head and swearing at you it was difficult to speak. "Kiba—ow!—Kiba wasn't listening to me!"

"Oh well _that's_ a reason to send him to the hospital! Hell, next time Ino doesn't shut up when I want to talk to her I think I'll send her into intensive care for fun!"

"It's not that simple—_stop hitting me_!"

"Give me a good reason!"

"Well if you'd just shut up for a second, I will!"

"Or what, you'll put me in the hospital too?"

Naruto stopped dead in his tracks, and Sakura realized belatedly that she'd gone too far. To tease her boyfriend about being an idiot was something she did every other week. Accusing him of beating her was something she had never done, and for good reason: he never would.

Naruto turned around slowly. He had the same expression he'd worn at Sasuke's defection from Konoha over two decades ago.

"That's not funny," he said, voice quiet and trembling.

Sakura gaped up at Naruto, deflating like a popped balloon under the force of his wounded gaze.

Then before she could gather her wits, Naruto turned around and started walking back to their apartment. Sakura was left in the middle of Oodori Street with traffic pouring around her as Naruto's yellow head retreated into the distance.

Blinking and shaking her head until it cleared, she ran to catch up. Sakura knew she should tell him she was sorry; she owed that to him after saying something so nasty. And she would…eventually. Now she was still too embarrassed.

"So…what happened?" Giving him a chance to explain himself was the closest she could bring herself to come to an apology.

Naruto sighed. He had been all prepared to explain everything a minute ago, but now he felt like he couldn't be bothered. He just wanted to go to bed. "Kiba's been contracted to kill Inari."

Sakura gasped. "_Our_ Inari? Nami no Kuni Inari?"

"Yup."

"No! Who would want to kill him?"

Naruto scowled and shoved his hands deep into his pockets. "It seems little Inari has gotten involved in some politics that rub some rich daimyo the wrong way."

Sakura sighed. Ah, politics. She didn't envy Naruto in the slightest his position as the Hokage's apprentice. The more she learned about politics, the more they disgusted her; she was, in fact, more than a little nervous about the idea of Naruto becoming Hokage. She loved his compassion and his forthrightness, and a politician couldn't have either of those things, at least not in the amounts that Naruto had. Would being Hokage change him for the worse, forcing him to be cruel and sly? Would it wear his dreams down to nothing?

It would any other man but this was Naruto, and Sakura had faith in him. He had sworn to her—hell, to all of Konoha—that he'd create his own path and live by his own nindo, and he'd managed to do just that so far.

The two ninja reached their apartment. Sakura fumbled for her keys for a moment before opening the door.

Wearily, Naruto went into their bedroom and flopped down onto the bed. He was glad, now more then ever, that he'd talked Sakura into buying such a huge, soft one. To hell with what was practical, there were times when a man just needed to flop himself down and let the tension leave his body. As far as he was concerned, if he wasn't called in for mission duty he didn't want to leave this room for the rest of the day.

Sakura didn't join him, and that was proof of how embarrassed she was about how she'd acted. Naruto was still miffed—the very idea that he'd hit her was a hideously offensive one. For Pete's sake, it wouldn't kill her to listen to him occasionally when he asked her to!

But this was getting them nowhere, and Naruto refused to spend his day sulking about a thoughtless comment. God knew Sakura was under stress—she hadn't even been home for the past three nights.

Naruto forced himself up from the bed and walked out into the kitchen where Sakura was making ramen for breakfast. She didn't look up as he came, but the blush he could see on the back of her neck and the way her shoulders stiffened let him know she knew he was there.

He wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and mumbled, "I'm calling in my minute."

Sakura smiled, relieved and touched. They had made that phrase up over ten years ago when their schedules had forced them apart more and more often. They found, to their dismay, that they just didn't have the time for each other they once had; if Sakura had a nightmare or Naruto a fight, they didn't have the option of spending hours giving each other comfort.

But a person had to be something more than busy to not have a minute. Sakura asked Naruto for her twenty-fifth birthday present for a promise: he would always give her a minute, whatever he was doing. Just a minute and no more; ANBU missions, training schedules and Konoha Hospital wouldn't wait any longer than that, no matter how traumatized Sakura felt after watching a gruesome murder or the results of a botched operation. But sometimes, when Sakura needed to know that Naruto was there for her, a minute of reassurance was enough to sustain her for a long, long time.

Naruto had readily agreed and asked her to promise him the same. He, like Sakura, understood that Sakura couldn't just leave surgery to deal with his grief after seeing a child die or losing one of his team members. But whatever she was doing and wherever she was, she could always spare a single minute. Like Sakura, Naruto found that was usually enough until she had enough time to give more.

Sakura turned around in Naruto's arms and hugged him, letting him rest his head on her shoulder. It was rather awkward, given how much taller than her he was.

_Ah, what the hell,_ thought Naruto.

"Naruto…do you want to talk about something?"

He did. But would Sakura understand? She was the only person he'd ever met who managed to combine a frightening temper with extreme soft-heartedness, and while that was one of the reasons he loved her Naruto knew she wouldn't be able to understand his dilemma. He already knew what she thought of the Hokage's job, and of the things he was being asked to do. He needed advice, but it had to be real advice from someone who knew what they were talking about.

"No thanks, Sakura-chan." He squeezed her body slightly, and she smiled. "Just give me my minute."

She nodded and gently stroked her fingers through his hair, and he was grateful. He needed the support.

As for the advice, he knew where he could go.

* * *

"How dare you try and get in here three hours late!"

Ah, thought Naruto as he arrived at the Hyuuga compound, Hinata must be in a good mood.

If there was any leader more respected in Konoha then Tsunade herself, it was Hyuuga Hinata. Under her leadership, the Hyuuga clan had gone from a community reputed for its xenophobia to one now known throughout Konoha for its altruism and charity.

But the Hyuuga clan was not the only thing that had changed. Hinata had changed so drastically that children who were told of her former shy behavior assumed they were being had. Over the years a hard glint had moved permanently into her eyes and she began to walk with authority and confidence.

"I should kick you out this door right now and leave you for the Inuzuka's wolves! DO YOU WANT TO BE EATEN BY WOLVES?"

"Considering that the Inuzuka have dogs I don't think it's a concern." Naruto ducked around the corner he heard Hinata's dulcet tones coming from and grinned winningly at the shocked look on her face.

Naruto quickly made shooing hand gestures to the poor, cowering girl Hinata had backed up against a wall. She understood, and ran.

"Naruto! What are you doing here?"

Ah, what a way to refer to him! Naruto almost missed being "Naruto-kun," but Hinata didn't really refer to anyone so affectionately anymore. "Actually I was hoping to talk to you. You wouldn't have some free time, would you?"

Hinata looked as flabbergasted as if a murder of crows had suddenly gone tap-dancing by. "I…I suppose so."

Naruto's smile turned apologetic. He knew exactly why she was so confused; he hadn't seen her in over a year. If he and Sakura were busy with their work, poor Hinata was buried in hers. And here he'd suddenly popped up asking her a favor.

Oh well. As long as he wasn't borrowing money it should be okay.

"So where's Neji?" Naruto asked as Hinata lead him across two courtyards to her private building. Man, the Hyuuga family had too much money.

"Mission," said Hinata. "I told him if he wasn't back in a week I'd dock his pay—I need him here to help me with a charity mission I'm running to Iwagakure."

"So things are pretty busy then?" Stupid question, but it was polite.

"That's a stupid question," Hinata said, but she grinned to show she didn't mean it. "How are you and Sakura then?"

"Pretty busy ourselves, but Sakura-chan's doing brilliantly at the Hospital. The place is running smoother every day under her." Naruto unconsciously straightened up with pride, before slouching again when he got to the topic of himself.

"But I…need some advice."

"Yeah?" said Hinata, opening the beautiful wooden doors that lead to her private building. "What about?"

"Leadership," said Naruto.

Hinata looked confused. "Why do you need help with that? Even Neji says you're the best ANBU captain Konoha's seen in generations."

Now the two ninja were walking down a hallway carpeted in rugs that had to individually cost Naruto's entire yearly salary. Okay, now Naruto knew he was jealous. Why was he living in a tiny apartment when some people got places like this just through inheritance? Hmph!

"It's not ANBU leadership, it's Hokage leadership. Totally different."

"Ah," said Hinata. "I get it. Well, c'mon into my little office and we'll see what we can come up with. You want something to drink first?"

Hinata's little office turned out to be twice as big as Tsunade's with wall hangings that looked even more expensive then the rugs outside and a beautiful mahogany desk that any lover of wooden furniture would have killed for. Naruto was beginning to feel like a peasant.

He quickly reminded himself that with the generous way Hinata was using her money to save lives, she was entitled to a few luxuries in return.

Hinata, probably sensitive to the fact that sitting behind her desk would turn this visit into something too formal, settled herself gracefully down into one of the many chairs that lined the office walls. "Sit wherever you like."

Naruto took a chair that directly faced Hinata's. "You sure you've got time for this?"

"It depends on what you want. Tell me and I'll let you know."

Naruto grinned. "Good point…I guess I want to know how you turned yourself into such a good leader."

Hinata's brow wrinkled. "What brought this on?"

"Ah…long story."

"Tell me anyway. We'll just be wasting our time if I don't know what I'm giving advice about. 'Leadership' is about as broad a topic as you can get."

So he told her. Naruto was surprised at how easy it was to pour his story out to Hinata when he'd been having such trouble trying to tell anyone else. Perhaps it was because she understood so well; never once did she even look surprised at the things he was telling her, nor judgmental.

It made sense—in fact, it was the reason that he'd come. Leadership of a large clan was very similar to leadership of a village. With Shino dead, the only clan leader he personally knew was Hinata. He probably would have gone to her for help even if she hadn't turned out to be such a genius.

"So, I guess I wanna know about what decisions you've made," Naruto finished up after a good twenty minutes. "Is Baa-chan right, and it's not possible to lead without…cruelty?" He hated to use that word, because he still didn't like to think of his beloved mentor as _cruel_. But he couldn't think of any other word that fit so well; words like _strict_ and _unfeeling_ just didn't seem strong enough.

Hinata was silent for a moment. Her eyes trailed over Naruto's face and form with such intensity that he almost started squirming in his seat. What was she thinking? She was so different from the girl he'd once known that he couldn't even begin to guess.

She had changed over the years without question, and it showed in her body as well as her voice. She had grown more muscled over the years, and scarred as well from battles both in and outside of her clan. Her hair was cut in a short and functional style, and was surprisingly grey given her young age. Not unattractive by any means, Hinata was most often described as a "handsome" woman; the days where she was known as "pretty" or "cute" were long behind her.

"You realize my clan has secrets I can't just divulge," she said finally.

Naruto nodded emphatically. "'Course, I'd never ask you to."

"But," Hinata continued, "To really answer your question I'll have to tell you a few things even most of my clan doesn't know. I assume I don't have to tell you the trouble I'll be in if you tell anyone."

Outside, Hinata had shown the subordinates she was scolding an image of a tough bitch. Now she was sliding into another image, that of a wise and responsible leader. How many personas did she have? And which one was real?

Still, the trust she was placing in him wasn't faked, and Naruto felt the responsibility on his shoulders for whatever he was about to hear.

"Go ahead," he told her. "I'm ready."

* * *

"I'm not sure how much you know about the way I took control of the Hyuuga clan, both in the legal sense and in the _actual_ sense. I can guarantee whatever you've heard is going to be full of holes and false information, though, so if I go over something you already think you know, be patient. I guarantee you'll hear some new things anyway.

"Now. You know I was born the heiress to the Hyuuga clan, and the trouble I've had since birth because of it. Neji would have made a better leader than me—it comes to him much more naturally and he's more skilled as a ninja—but he was doomed from birth to be part of the branch house. My real competition was my younger sister Hanabi. Traditionally, she should have been relegated to the branch house at birth, but because I was proving myself to be so pitiful as a ninja she was allowed to stay in the main house for years in case I simply couldn't be made into a leader. If I became leader, she'd be cursed to join the branch house. If I wasn't strong enough, I'd be put into the branch house and she'd ascend to the top.

"Hanabi and I always got along surprisingly well considering that the success of either one of us meant the ruination of the other. In a clan like the Hyuuga, a child learns pretty quickly that their life isn't their own; it belongs to the clan, and it's up to the elders how it's used. So we never blamed each other and were able to stay allies, if not friends. It was Neji and I who had some friction in our relationship but you already know all about that, and we managed to work it out during the chuunin exam anyway, so it's not important.

"Anyway, as you know, I was a dismal failure as leader-in-training. My ninja skills have always been below average, and are to this very day. I wasn't cut out to be a ninja any more then you were cut out to be a mathematician. I'd put in a bad performance in training, which lead to being criticized by father, which lead to my hating myself, which lead to my putting in an even worse performance at training because my self-esteem was so low. And even though Hanabi had nothing against me, she wasn't going to sabotage her chances at avoiding the juuin by encouraging me. Meanwhile my teammates, much as they loved me, were twelve year old boys. Sensitivity, tact, empathy and understanding were not their strong points, and they didn't have the patience to deal with my constant bumbling—which made me hate myself more and do even worse out in the field. Kurenai-sensei, bless her, tried hard to support me but a jounin is busy and she couldn't be there to watch me all the time. Until you came along and beat some sense into Neji, I had no one.

"Watching you was the only thing that kept me from killing myself, and don't act like you didn't know. You knew I was watching you, even if you didn't know why. You were like me, all alone and crappy at being a ninja, and yet you kept trying and doing things your own way. I've never admired anyone on earth the way I do you, and again, please don't demean that by pretending to be clueless.

"But I didn't know where to begin. I didn't have the courage to ask you for advice or help the way you're asking me now, and I didn't have any friends who could understand. The only one willing to help me was Kurenai-sensei, and she was so perfect she couldn't even begin to get what I was feeling. She was beautiful, talented, popular…her support for me was real and got me through hard times, but when I would try to explain to her how lost I felt when I'd make a mistake she'd look at me like I was speaking a foreign language.

"So I'd mess up and get discouraged and get scolded and get discouraged again, until Neji came along with his head newly straightened-out by you and began to show me what to do.

"He came to see pretty quickly how hopeless I was on the battlefield. He still trained with me and did his best to improve me where he could, but the most important thing he gave me was praise. If I was really trying—and I always was—he'd nod and say 'Good job, Hinata-sama' at the end of a session. And I felt like he really meant it, like he was really impressed by the way I was working my fingers to the bone. Which encouraged me to work harder. Which meant I began to improve.

"Then I turned seventeen and everything happened at once. I was taking baby steps and suddenly the world threw me off a cliff. That happens sometimes, you know?

"First off father died, and before his funeral was over I was declared the new clan leader. Hanabi was literally dragged off to be branded with the juuin. I said Hanabi and I got along well, and I meant it. But that day…I'll never forget the things she said, _screamed_ into my face. I know she didn't mean them, that she only said them because she was terrified and furious that her life was being taken from her, but even now I have nightmares about the awful things she called me.

"And right after that my fiancé was named. You remember him, right? Almost sixty years old, face like a pit bull only more wrinkles? Hyuuga Satoshi.

"I was almost as horrified as the members of the branch house. That man was as cruel as they came, the kind who puts more emphasis on rules then lives and thinks he knows better then anyone younger then he because he managed to survive for six decades without falling over dead. He was going to be strict with me, and cruel to the members of the branch house. They were frightened just hearing his name.

"I was too stupid to see what the main house was doing, so Neji explained it to me. They'd decided I was no good as a leader because I was such a wimp, but Hanabi was no good either, because she'd become too sympathetic to the branch house and mingled too much with other clans. She'd started dating an Inuzuka so her name was mud.

"But my status as a weakling meant I could be controlled by someone more fit to lead the Glorious House of Hyuuga. They just had to marry me to him, and then I'd lead the family in name while he lead in reality.

"I didn't have the courage to say no to the wedding. My family is deeply traditional, and bringing shame would have meant expulsion. But at the same time, the idea of Neji and Hanabi being under Satoshi's thumb was so terrible to me that it even outweighed my fear, and I knew I had to do something.

"Here's where we're getting into forbidden territory.

"I researched the juuin. I'll spare you the boring details on that, but suffice to say I read through every forbidden scroll in the Konoha Library and the Hyuuga Library by sneaking in and staying awake deep into the night. I was risking being disowned, but again, that thought was less important to me then the idea of my beloved siblings being tortured for some meaningless, nonexistent offense.

"I got so scared! I'd sit there in the dark trembling and barely able to concentrate, jumping at every little sound and crying from stress and fatigue. I kept wanting to run back to my bed, but then I'd think of you swearing you'd follow your own path, and of Neji's kindness to me, and I'd stay.

"I eventually found what I needed. I think it was almost Neji's nineteenth birthday when I snuck into his and Hanabi's rooms and removed the juuin from their foreheads and systems…for good.

"Oh yes, those disgusting things are gone! Neji and Hanabi have been careful to hide it, even to this day, because they know what will happen to me if the Hyuuga elders find out what I did. But they're gone.

"I was so proud of myself that night. I was the hero.

"Neji didn't see it that way. He was so enraged when I told him what I'd done…I was frightened of him, _really_ frightened, for the first time since the chuunin exams.

"He didn't scream—screaming isn't something he does—but his words were loud and harsh. 'Don't you see what you've done? You're the only thing standing between the branch house and punitive lunatics in the main house, and once they found out you did this you'll be executed!'

"I'd say that was my first lesson about leadership. By focusing on the ones I loved, I had essentially doomed myself and a lot of other innocent people. Of course it's good to think of your loved ones when you can, but when you're leading a lot of people, thinking of them first isn't an option. When it's just you and your family and you favor them, you're a good daughter. When it's you and your family and hundreds of others who need you and you _still_ favor your family, you're nepotistic.

"So that was it, I had to put up or shut up. I could either wait with bated breath until my beloved fiancé caught onto what I had done and killed me, or I could take control of the council before anyone found out.

"But challenging Satoshi directly would have been a disaster. The Main House was planning on marrying me to the guy in order to control me, and showing them that I was more rebellious then they'd thought would've lead to harsh restrictions on my freedom. I had to pretend to be totally submissive and cowed until it was too late for them to stop me, and I had to get rid of Satoshi.

"That was my second lesson in leadership. I wanted so badly to just get it over with—I was willing to run away or fight or beg just as long as the horrible dread that I carried in my heart every day went away. Neji told me flat out that I'd better get used to it, because that feeling would never leave me. Even if we succeeded in setting me up as leader, there would be factions in the Main House plotting my downfall at all times. He was right, and that feeling is a part of me every minute of my life even now.

"I found my first grey hair a month later, and it's just been multiplying since, I'm afraid…

"Anyway. My third lesson in leadership was the one you're curious about: cruelty. I told Neji that I didn't want to do anything I considered despicable. I, like you, was going to follow my own nindo and live how I wanted to live.

"Neji told me that was fine if I was planning on living for myself. If I wanted to help my family, on the other hand, that wouldn't work. While I was busy being noble, the members of the branch house would be killed and tortured. He told me—much more gently then he'd been speaking so far—that I had to decide if I wanted to lead or not. If I couldn't handle it, if my nindo and my ethics were so important to me, then I had to decide right then. There was no point trying to make me into someone who could help others if in the end I wasn't willing to do it.

"I chewed that one over for a night, and thought about the members of the branch house being manipulated and enslaved and how I had a chance to really help as leader…only I'd have to hate myself for what needed to be done to make myself a leader. But if I didn't become leader, and just watched passively while innocent people were hurt, I'd hate myself anyway.

"So I could hate myself, or I could hate myself and help people. The choice was obvious.

"I am a medic nin, and a good one if I do say so myself. The Hyuuga elders knew it must have been me who killed Satoshi, but after several dozen tests by several dozen different specialists they never found out how. Meanwhile, I did a fairly good job of playing the lamenting widow—well, not technically since we weren't married yet, but more or less—and it wasn't hard. I was so disgusted with myself and sick with what I had done, it wasn't hard to cry and vomit and make a scene.

"With no proof that I had done it, the council couldn't stop me from leading the clan. The only problem was…I had to lead the clan. With no idea of what I was doing.

"I knew I wanted to help people. I wanted the Hyuuga to stop terrorizing its own members and acting superior to the rest of the Konoha ninja. But Hanabi told me that saying those things directly wouldn't do any good, and really I knew that. As a child asking father why he used the surplus in the treasury that year to decorate his office rather than giving it to the needy got me grounded. Talking to my favorite aunt about my crush on you bought me a month of beatings. I asked my aunt why she had given me up, and her response was gentle; she loved me, but I was obviously misguided. To even think of contaminating our family line was proof of mental disturbance, and I had to be straightened out lest my sickness infect the whole family.

"So I had learned not to say what I wanted and to tell no one what I felt. Had I been an ANBU captain that would've been a bad habit, but it was invaluable as the leader of the Hyuuga.

"My first action was to get some of our yearly surplus into the Hokage's office to benefit orphans like yourself. It's ridiculous to expect a child to live on a monthly stipend with no supervision or schooling until the Academy and then turn out normally. Forgive me for saying so, but if I'm not mistaken you still have trouble in social situations.

"Also, acting on your own for so long made it hard for you to think of others. You've been making mistakes which are obvious to people who have been surrounded by others since childhood ever since you were first allowed onto a team.

"Ah…I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. It's a great strength of yours that you're so focused, and those of us who love you even find your thoughtlessness endearing. And I certainly don't want to imply that you're not kind and smart and a very good leader by now. I'm just saying it's been much, much harder for you to wear away rough edges then the rest of us because no one told you how. That you made it so far, and honed yourself to become the best of us, is an incredible achievement. Unfortunately, we can't expect all orphans to do so well, and they deserve help that the Hyuuga could give.

"I couldn't afford to say that directly. I couldn't tell my elders that I was giving money to orphans because my nindo dictated that I help others. They would kill me in my sleep or replace me, and then there would be another Satoshi clone chosen to make everyone miserable.

"Instead, I had to think about what the Hyuuga love most. A clan of rich snobs who think marrying outside means contamination and helping children who've lost their parents is beneath them? What could they value above all?

"And it came to me: their image and their livelihood. Their view of themselves as the best and most noble warriors was invaluable, because above all other things they wanted to make everyone else believe it too. Their desire to help themselves was useful too, because a Hyuuga will help others if he thinks there's something in it for him.

"So I told the council that giving money to Konoha's orphans was good for our public image. I said that indebting these orphans to the Hyuuga family would make them compliant to us later, and let us expand our reach of good, loyal allies which we so desperately need to liaise with the Hokage and the daimyo of Fire Country. The Hyuuga saw profit for themselves, and let me do what I wanted.

"My time since then has been marked by that sort of manipulation. I got more Hyuuga medics to help out at the Hospital by pointing out that they training they'd receive in return would make them better medics for us. I cut the lavish spending of some of the senior council members by putting the money into things that will help the clan as well as Konoha as a whole, like better classes at the Academy and better equipment for the Hospital. When all else fails and I can't find a reason that the Hyuuga will benefit, I can always fall back on image: doing this will make our family look good.

"More and more the council members are trusting me to make decisions that are good for them, and so they're questioning me less and less. It might take decades, but eventually they're not going to question me at all, and on that day I'll be able to set the poor, wretched slaves in the branch house free.

"In the meantime, though, I've wrapped my life up in a shroud of lies and manipulation, and I've learned I can't do any of this alone. I'm surrounded by hostile, pampered morons whom I cannot trust and cannot speak the truth to. If Neji and Hanabi weren't at my side I would have crumbled from stress long ago.

"Neji brings me news from Konoha. Every mission he goes on, every trip he has to the hospital, every time he substitutes at the Academy, he reports back to me and tells me what the people need and how the Hyuuga's public relations with the village are shaping up.

"Hanabi, meanwhile, keeps me updated on the branch house. I cannot fraternize too closely with them. If I do, the council will become suspicious, and the trust I've built up will crumble. But there's nothing strange about going to dinner with one's little sister. We drink wine and giggle a lot, and the main house assumes we're talking about boys and clothes while we're really discussing political unrest and smokescreen tactics to use on them.

"It's petty, but it gives Hanabi and I a real feeling of satisfaction to know that we're fooling them that way.

"That's most of what I've learned. Not focusing on just my loved ones, acting subtly, knowing the weaknesses of my allies and enemies, keeping trusted advisors…these things are the most important.

"Maybe the most painful lesson, though, was that to lead I had to really be a leader. One day Neji came to give me a report about ANBU, and in front of the whole council I said, 'Thank you Neji-nii-san.' Remember I used to call him 'nii-san?'

"Well before I knew it the council was laughing up a storm, and after the meeting was over Neji pulled me aside and told me that I could never call him that again. What was I doing talking to a subordinate with such an obviously deferential title? It made me look weak to defer to a lowly branch house member. I needed to gain the respect of the main house, and inviting their disdain was not the way to do it.

"That hurt. 'Nii-san' is just a word, but to me it had so much meaning attached to it. I did, and do, look up to Neji. I believe he is my superior in every way, mentally and physically, and to this very day hearing him talk up to me while not giving any respect back to gain the favor of a group of puffed-up snobs rankles. But if I don't treat him the way I'm supposed to I'll never be able to help him later on down the line. He understands that, and so I have to try and understand it too.

"Hanabi and his loyalty to me makes it easier. I know they're loyal because they're the polar opposite of sycophantic. In public they bow and scrape and tell me I'm perfect, but they blister my ears as soon as we're alone. 'Hinata-sama, I can't believe you said that! Hinata-sama, what the hell were you thinking? Hinata-sama you have to train harder, you're just embarrassing right now!' When they tell me something I know it's true, and knowing that I'm helping them makes it all worth it.

"In the end, I guess I've found out that everything I learned from you was correct. I need my own nindo, my own goals and my own morals. I need people who are precious to me to keep me in line and remind me of what I'm working for.

"But I also need to see the world around me. If I lose sight of reality and chase my dreams I'll ruin not only my own life, but the lives of those who are depending on me. And the more their number grows, the more respected and popular I become as a leader.

"Let me make a suggestion. If you ask Godaime-sama or look through the quotes and records of our previous four Hokage, you'll find enormous pride. Every single one of them was proud to do what they did, and loved Konoha and its citizens in a pure and selfless manner. They were great people, no question.

"But.

"Try asking if a single one of them was _happy_."

* * *

A/N

I've stopped putting Japanese words in italics. It goes against all kinds of English grammar rules, but it was a pain in the ass trying to keep up with all the italicized words!

Sorry if you don't like this Hinata. My first image of her at 35 was as a swearing, hard-talking ball-busting bitch. But that wouldn't fit with the Hyuuga—no leader of theirs would be vulgar or openly nasty.

It's back to Naruto next chapter with a bunch of stuff for him to chew on…can he save Inari?

Pretty please, REVIEW!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Why the hell would I be writing fan fiction if I owned Naruto?

Notice: This chapter uploaded funnily. I think I fixed it, but if any of the paragraphs or sentences arestucktogetherlikethis, that's why. And again, Sasuke doesn't look too good--we're still in his dark period, so be warned if that might offend you.

EDIT 07/26: It was Stephen King who said that if you get mad at your editor/critics, you can bet they're right. After I posted in my last a/n that this story was the sequel to another story I'd written, I read some comments on a NaruSaku fanboard that can only be described as vitriolic. While this story seems to be positively received there, the story I said preceded this one was seen very negatively, as everything from "scary" to "a waste of time".

My first response was to be hurt, but I wouldn't be any kind of writer if I wasn't always looking to improve myself. I sat down and thought about just why the response was so violently negative. What I came up with was that this story and that one are VERY different, and so naturally they're going to attract different kinds of readers. I deliberately wrote them to have very different styles to try and broaden myself as an author, so why the hell did I try to connect the two of them? If I'm writing them to be different, I should let them be different.

So! As of now, Moving On is in no way connected to anything else I've written. It's not in the past or future of anything else, and stands alone. I'm proud of the things I've written, and don't regret writing them, but it was silly of me to try and connect them. Besides, this way I get to re-write Naruto and Sakura falling in love. Maybe something fluffy this time around...

Thanks for all the comments and advice. No author can see every time s/he screws up, so sometimes we need someone to call us on it.

Now, onto the story.

Moving On

Chapter Four

By Michiru's Mirror

* * *

In life, there were some things you just didn't want to know. 

Take sex. Generally speaking, people wanted fidelity in mind as well as body. You never wanted to think that your lover was having heavy dreams about your next-door neighbor (even though _you_ were), because there was a part of you that believed they were your possession, damn it, with no right to libidinous feelings outside of you. Naruto had no problem with dreams that involved Ino writhing on his bed calling him "master" while Tenten was bound against his wall with Sakura doing nasty things to her, but waking up to hear Sakura next to him mumble something that may or may not have been _Oh, Genma-san_ threw off his whole week.

The problem was that your partner _wasn't_ a doll that belonged to you body and soul any more than you belonged to them, and thus you could bet your hitai-ate that their eyes were following the hottie walking down the street as surely as yours were. No person wanted to be faithful to their partner. What everyone really wanted, deep within their id, was to love the person you loved and fuck every other hot body that turned you on. A person refrained because you knew it would hurt your partner, and because you wanted that partner to extend the same courtesy to you. What two loved ones built together was something that grew over years and lasted a lifetime. A one night stand or a month-long fling would end, and however satisfying they might be, they weren't worth ruining a life-long possibility at happiness.

Naruto knew that he had admirers, and their number grew with every passing year. He was attracted to some of them in return, and if he thought Sakura wouldn't mind his laying them, he'd do it in a second. But in truth it wouldn't just hurt Sakura but break something inside of her, and more, it would ruin what she and Naruto had built together. Naruto was unwilling to injure the most important person in his life, and he was completely unwilling to give up the relationship that gave him the most happiness he'd ever had for an orgasm.

Chances were Sakura thought the same way; that is, she had suitors that she wanted but rejected because Naruto was more important to her than meaningless one night stands or temporary throwaway affairs. A small part of Naruto understood that this was the truth, that Sakura had fantasies in which he wasn't included.

That truth hurt his heart. He would be happier not knowing it, and so he never asked Sakura for any details. He didn't want to know Sakura's Genma fantasies, he didn't want to know what handsome new male interns were working with her in the Hospital, and he didn't want to know what she and Ino were giggling about when they sat together in the Hospital cafeteria ogling others in the room. In his fantasies, Sakura always looked at him adoringly and told him that she never thought of another man. As far as he was concerned that was the truth, and even though a part of him knew better, he was happily in denial.

And he had no doubt that Sakura was exactly the same. When he saw a blonde walk by that was about twelve times as hot as Sakura could ever hope to be he stared like any red blooded male. That didn't change the answer to Sakura's inevitable question.

Sakura: You're not looking at her, are you?

Naruto: Looking at whom? I only see you.

What would happen, Naruto wondered, if he asked Sakura one day why she had mumbled Genma's name that morning almost three years ago now? He was sure her answer would be just like his ("Genma? Who's Genma, darling?")...but what if it wasn't? What if she looked him in the eye and said, "Oh, I was dreaming about Genma. His penis is much larger then yours, you know, and he's much more sexually experienced. I was just wondering about the things he could do to satisfy me that you could never manage."

Yeah. Replace Sakura with Hinata and sex with politics, and that was about how Naruto felt after his visit to the Hyuuga mansion.

He had to be honest with himself. He had gone to Hinata and asked her to tell him about leadership because he'd been hoping she giggle and say, "_Cruelty? What do you mean, cruelty? Only bad leaders need to do anything but follow their own nindo to succeed!"_

Instead she had told him exactly the opposite. She might as well have picked up her desk and smashed it over his head for all the pain it caused him.

But one thing Uzumaki Naruto was not was a coward. If all his worst fears had just been confirmed, well, he'd just have to make the best of it.

He couldn't keep his id from mumbling little complaints here and there, though. Why did leaders have to be so formal? No more _baa-chan_ or _Sasuke-bibirikun_ or _Sakura-chan_. The thought of calling Sakura _Haruno-san_ was kind of funny, but imagining the smirk on Sasuke's face when Naruto called him _Uchiha-sama_ almost made him physically ill.

Well no point in worrying about that now, not when Inari's life was on the line. Naruto had to give up hope of charging to the rescue as he was accustomed to; if he did that he'd be abandoning all hope of ever becoming Hokage. He wasn't sure if that was a bad thing at this point, but as long as some small part of him still wanted the job he couldn't ruin it for himself.

He'd just have to be…subtle.

No matter how completely it went against his nature.

* * *

On the same day that Kiba was discharged from Konoha Hospital and sent to Nami no Kuni to assassinate a troublesome young man named Inari, Uchiha Momoko went to visit Sakura in her office. 

Sakura officially got off duty at five in the afternoon. Unfortunately the last time she'd taken advantage of her official schedule was when Naruto had come in asking her to go to dinner with him.

Though Sakura didn't usually do patient rounds since being chosen as the head of Konoha Hospital she was constantly being called from her office for emergencies: one man would come in with a kunai lodged a hairsbreadth away from his heart, followed by a woman with six compound fractures in her left arm, followed by a man with a finger cut off. Each of these emergencies came with several pages of paperwork, which Sakura would be doing when inevitably called to help yet another patient that the younger hospital medics couldn't handle.

Why were the good medics always put out on field duty, damn it? Stupid question. They were put there because that's where the worst injuries happened. But Sakura was up to her ears in paperwork by now and sometimes even staying until midnight wasn't enough to finish everything up (particularly since patients just kept coming in).

Sakura knew it was time to take on an apprentice of her own. She didn't have the time to train one but at this point she couldn't afford not to. She needed help. Shizune and Tsunade, God bless them as angels forever, did everything they could. They tried to help and came by as their schedules permitted but their abilities were limited. Tsunade was simply old, and all of her dwindling energy was going into being Hokage and training an increasingly recalcitrant Naruto. Shizune, meanwhile, was out in the field more and more often these days. At fifty years of age she had become one of Konoha's ranking jounin; she was constantly out on diplomatic and goodwill missions where she had to impress other countries with her power, wisdom, and patience.

Without their help, too many of the new graduating medics were lacking. There was too much knowledge they didn't have, too much training they just weren't given because their teachers were handicapped in the same way.

Still, Sakura had seen three or four with real potential. She had a meeting scheduled with Tsunade and Shizune in three days. If she could convince Shizune to take one of them into the field with her to train on the go, and took another herself in a few months then maybe...

There was a knock at Sakura's office door.

She looked up in surprise; office hours were over. If there was an emergency, all ninja knew to go straight to the emergency room. She hoped it wasn't another panicking young medic trying to get out onto the hospital floor. "Yes?"

The door opened a crack and Momoko shyly stuck her head inside. From the shadow of the doorway Sakura could barely make out her features.

"Can I come in, Haruno-sensei?"

No, damn it! Sakura had stacks of paperwork to do and she had to meet Sasuke in just a few minutes for more tests.

"Sure, Momoko-chan, but I hope you don't mind if I do a little paperwork while we talk."

Momoko shook her head vigorously as she stepped inside. "No, Sensei, of course not!" She turned to shut the door.

It was a good thing she did, because that gave Sakura the second she needed to hide the shock on her face. Momoko was a mess.

She had grown fat, and her skin had a parched, yellowish look. Sakura knew fat people who practically glowed with health and happiness like the Akimichi family, but Momoko appeared terribly unhealthy. Her once-lustrous hair had become greasy and stringy, and dark bags hung beneath her eyes. As she walked towards Sakura's desk she wrung her hands constantly and kept her eyes trained on the floor. A formerly boisterous walk had been replaced by tiny mincing steps.

It had only been two years since a cheerful, bubbly Momoko had taken her wedding vows. What the hell happened to turn that girl into this?

Momoko sat down, and Sakura regained her composure. She put on her Doctor Smile and said, "So what can I do for you?"

Momoko was biting her lip so hard that it was turning red, still wringing her hands obsessively. "It's...well...it's about these tests you're doing for Sasuke-san."

She paused, so Sakura nodded encouragingly for her to continue.

"Well i-it's just..." Momoko threw a fearful look over her shoulder, as though expecting the boogeyman to pop through the door.

Sakura nodded again.

"I-I think I'm sick."

Sakura smiled. "All right then, can you tell me your symptoms?"

Momoko blushed slightly. "I'm just...shaking all the time...and I'm sleeping a lot. And my body, it's a-all achy..." Another fearful glance at the door.

Sakura kept herself from sighing. "Momoko-chan, I can run some tests, but I think I might know the problem."

"Oh? Sasuke-san is right, you are a miracle worker." Momoko smiled wanly, only to jump when there was a small noise outside the door.

Sakura was touched that Sasuke had such faith in her abilities, but she had to keep on track. "Momoko-chan, am I right that Sasuke-kun doesn't know you're here?"

Momoko's eyes went desperately wide, and she wrung her hands so hard Sakura could hear the flesh scrape. "It's not...I mean...Sasuke-san and I agreed that I shouldn't leave the house without his permission and I listen, I really do—" Momoko had started into a full-blown panicked babble. She was almost hyperventilating. "I-It's just...he does it because he loves me, you know, it's dangerous out there and he doesn't want me to get hurt..."

_He does it because he's a control freak and you know it or you wouldn't have snuck out like this_, Sakura thought.

"It's okay," she said gently. "I just won't tell him, that's all. But let me ask you this...how often do you socialize?"

"Oh I don't need to socialize," Momoko babbled before Sakura could even finish her sentence. "Sasuke-san is all I need...besides, he gets the wrong idea if I talk with people...he loves me so much he gets jealous really easily so we agreed it was easier for me not to go out unless he was with me so men wouldn't hit on me." Momoko met Sakura's gaze with such an earnest look in her eyes that Sakura was struck with a painful feeling of pity. "He does love me," she said. It was obviously vital to her that Sakura understand this.

_And Sasuke-kun doesn't talk to you either, does he_, thought Sakura grimly. _You don't speak to a living soul for weeks at a time, and you haven't had someone so much as hold your hand or give you a hug for over a year. You're locked in solitary confinement in that house with nothing to do but eat until you burst._

_You poor, pathetic creature—do you even know that what you're really asking me for is a way out?_

Sakura was reminded of Hinata, who had once been known as pathetic while she was forced to endure her father's bullying. A person bound by rules and trapped under the thumb of someone more powerful felt small and weak, to the point where they didn't know how to escape. Eventually, they stopped believing escape was possible.

It was only with the support of Neji, Kurenai, and Naruto that Hinata had been able to even begin to break out of the chains she and others had put on her own soul. As long as Momoko was being bound to and by Sasuke she would suffer the same way.

But Sakura knew a divorce wasn't in the cards because of the shame it would bring to the Hyuuga. Momoko would very likely be disowned by the elders for destroying their important diplomatic link to the soon-to-be-reborn Uchiha clan. Sasuke had told her to cut ties with her friends and job, and she had done it because she was deluded enough to believe that pleasing him would buy her his love. If she cut her ties with him and her family as well she'd have no one, and no money to survive with.

Ah...but there _was _a way for her to end the union honorably, wasn't there? If Sasuke's impotence became public, Momoko could legally annul the marriage. The Hyuuga clan would have no reason to sell their daughter to Sasuke because there would be no alliance to look forward to in return.

But she had promised Sasuke-kun that she wouldn't tell! However foully he might be acting here, the truth was that he was her friend, and Momoko really wasn't.

Then again, looking at Momoko's hollow eyes and wringing hands and fat gut, Sakura wasn't sure if she could bring herself to care.

"Listen Momoko-chan," Sakura said. "Sasuke-kun will be here soon so for now maybe you'd better go home, okay?"

A look of real terror crossed Momoko's face, and she leapt up from her chair, trembling.

"It's all right, you've got about ten minutes," said Sakura gently. "Now, I'm going to...uh...research your symptoms and I'll get back to you in the next week, okay?"

Momoko bowed deeply and almost ran out the door.

Sakura didn't move for the next ten minutes. She sat back in her chair and stared at the empty doorway, depressed and furious and confused. Sasuke had been under the thumb of a bully too: his father. How could he turn around and treat Momoko just like Fugaku had treated him?

But that was the way it worked, wasn't it. Uchiha Fugaku had pushed his wife into stepping softly around the house and goaded his son into working himself nearly to his breaking point, and now Sasuke did the same. His father had been a Great Man, not a pathetic, bullying shell of a human. His clan had been a Great Clan, not a group of snobs who treated their children like prized dogs with pedigrees.

Hinata had been lucky enough to get out from under her father's thumb, and strong enough to try and change the things that were making her miserable so that others wouldn't have to suffer. She had seen Naruto and then Neji refusing to give into suffering and been inspired.

But Sasuke just wasn't strong enough. He saw strong people like Naruto and sneered at their efforts because they were contrary to the Great Uchiha Way. He refused to consider any idea that might challenge the ones that had been bashed into his head, and had to control every aspect of his life.

If this was how he treated his wife, what was he going to do to his children...?

When Sasuke walked through the door, it was to see Sakura behind her desk zoned out so completely that she almost didn't notice him come in.

She saw him and jerked back to reality only to stare at him like she'd never seen him before. "What?" he asked, irritated.

"Oh, Sasuke-kun," she said, and there was pity in her voice. "You can make all the excuses you want, but in the end everything you do is because you're miserable, and you can't be satisfied until everyone is as miserable as you."

Sasuke blinked, too confused to be offended. "What nonsense are you babbling now?"

"Nothing," Sakura sighed. "Nothing you'd understand, anyway." She stood and motioned Sasuke to come closer. "Come on. I don't have long today."

* * *

A week later, Tsunade was in her office marveling at the day's mail. 

Each hidden village had its own language, but that wasn't usually a problem because of the common language that let different countries communicate. There were times that dialect differences got in the way, but for the most part the common language was enough.

Occasionally Tsunade heard of a person who didn't have a very firm grasp on the common language, but she had never heard of it happening in such a high official.

The letter read:

_Dear Busty Leaf Shadow:_

_I am pleased to propose a joining of the taijutsu feets of justice against the naughty evils of bad, bad Otogakure. I invite you to come and lay an egg on the altar of friendship at beautiful Iwagakure._

_Should you accept this invitation, toodle the horn melodiously. _

_With great sincerity of feeling,_

_Ganseki Tsuyoshi_

_Tsuchikage_

"Shizune, come take a look at this," Tsunade called.Shizune opened the door in her usual careful ladylike way and took the message from her mistress. She raised an eyebrow, but her polite nature kept her from laughing (too much). "Semantics aside, will you go?"

"I am the Busty Leaf Shadow. If this could be a promising alliance for my people, I have to."

"Sure, but it's not a good idea to go into their territory unprotected. Why not send a return note suggesting a meeting in neutral territory? Sunagakure is allied to both of us, how about there?"

"Good enough. Send it."

Shizune bowed and exited...only to return only moments later holding another scroll.

Tsunade quickly hid the sake jug she'd been keeping in her bottom drawer under the desk. "What is it now?"

"We have a message from Inuzuka Kiba," said Shizune.

Tsunade searched through her slightly fuzzy memory. "Is he the one I'm having sex with?"

Shizune paused to digest that insane statement before realizing what had caused it. A determined glint entered her eye right before she marched over to Tsunade's desk and grabbed the sake jug out from underneath it.

There was a brief tussle as Tsunade tried to get it back. Shizune won through quicker reflexes and quickly danced away towards the door, leaving her mistress cursing under her breath. It wasn't as easy as it used to be for her to do things like stand up and wrestle.

"_No_, Shishou, that's Inuzuka Kaoru. _This_ is the man who's currently trying to kill someone in Nami no Kuni."

"Oh. Right." Tsunade shook her head slightly to clear it. "Isn't he taking a bit long?"

"That might be what this is about." Shizune opened the scroll and went back to Tsunade's desk to show her the message—after ensconcing the sake safely away in her own desk drawers.

_Godaime-sama:_

_Unable to locate target. Awaiting further orders._

_Inuzuka Kiba_

Shizune looked appalled. "'_Unable to locate target'_? Kiba's one of the best trackers we have! No country kid could elude one of the members of Team Eight by hiding under his sink or something."

Tsunade refrained from pointing out that at age thirty, Inari was hardly a kid. That might lead to uncomfortable commentary on Shizune's own age, which would set her off terribly. Kind and patient in almost all situations, Shizune had grown touchier and touchier about her age as she grew older. By now just mentioning her upcoming birthday sent her into either a rage or a funk; neither was controllable and both were miserable for everyone in the Hokage's office.

Tsunade once offered to teach Shizune the jutsu she knew to control age, but that had gained her a frightening glare.

"Are you suggesting that I'm old enough to need it?" Shizune had growled. Not said, growled. Tsunade had quickly excused herself into the safety of her office and made a point of not going out for the next six hours.

Besides, there was a more important issue raised by this message. Tsunade felt a grin stretch across her face, and pride filled her heart.

Shizune looked at her as though she'd gone mad. "What is it?"

"You're right," said Tsunade, "That no, uh, kid could evade one of our jounin on his own…unless somebody warned him beforehand that danger was coming."

Shizune looked confused for a moment longer before comprehension dawned on her face. "…Oh!"

"Oh indeed." Tsunade was grinning so widely she felt her face might crack in two. "Send Naruto in to see me."

* * *

Two hours later Naruto walked himself slowly home. 

He had done it. He had solved his problem properly as a politician would. Tsunade had called him into her office and congratulated him profusely, grinning like Christmas had come early and hugging him for the first time…well, ever.

"I was really worried about you, kid," she said. "It almost seemed like you didn't have the stones to do this job for awhile there, but I should have known better. If you couldn't do it, you wouldn't be wearing this." She pulled gently at the cord of his precious necklace, her smile turning soft and fond.

"I don't want to know what you did," she said. "As a Hokage, you're going to have to learn when not to know things too. But whatever and however you did it, you saved your friend without putting blame onto the village and without ruining Kiba's career. I can't even begin to tell you how proud of you I am."

She hugged him again, and Naruto had to force himself not to pull away. He was feeling sicker by the second.

Sure he kept Inari from getting killed, and it had been easy enough. He just sent a discreet messenger bird to Inari's address. He knew it well enough since the two of them still exchanged letters sometimes.

But the problem wasn't even close to solved. Inari would have to lay low. He'd spend months or maybe even years hiding under rocks and in dirty basements. Kiba, meanwhile, would get a black mark on his record for a failed mission. His career would continue on, but he would lose money on future missions and no longer be able to boast a perfect tracking record.

This was the Hokage's way of solving a problem? It seemed like stop-gapping a cracked dam with bubble gum and hoping it would hold.

He had been fighting with himself for months now: do I want to become Hokage or not? Well, now he knew.

He didn't.

He knew it as surely and completely as he knew his own name. He didn't want to spend his life sitting behind a desk watching his allies doing horrible things and condoning it. He couldn't stand the thought of watching his friends go out to battle while he sat at home protecting his own neck. And now this new revelation, that he'd have to do those awful things while not actually getting any problems decisively solved!

No. Naruto had great confidence in himself, and didn't doubt that he was capable of doing the job. But he didn't want to. He hadn't fought so hard to get good at a job he loved just to give it up to take a job he hated.

Except what choice did he have?

Growing even more miserable and ashamed, Naruto thought of all the people who had supported his dream and believed in him. The Rookie Nine and their teachers had all given him words of encouragement, to say nothing of the last two Hokage, several clients, ninja from faraway villages, the Kazekage... Hell, even Kabuto had admitted to Naruto's talent eventually, and he was an enemy.

All those people had decided that Naruto was capable of being Hokage, and because he had stupidly told them all that was what he wanted they had supported him with every ounce of their strength. What was he supposed to tell them? _Sorry, I thought I wanted to be Hokage without knowing a thing about what I was getting into, but now that the going is getting tough I think I'll quit. Thanks for decades of hard work, though!_

Naruto positively rankled at the thought of being a quitter. He'd worked himself to the bone to show people just how strong he was, and how capable, and they had trusted and believed in him. He couldn't just turn around and tell them now that he was giving up.

Naruto almost tripped three times walking home, and didn't even notice the many people who waved hello to him. He waved back every time he heard his name, but barely registered where the yells were coming from, let alone who was making the noise.

He arrived home with a feeling of deep relief. It wasn't even seven o'clock yet, but he just wanted to go to bed and sleep. Maybe a revelation would come to him in his dreams.

The sight that greeted him when he opened the apartment door was enough to shock his mouth into falling right open.

The lights had been lowered and candles had been placed around the apartment in glass holders.

With horror music playing in his head, Naruto slid off his sandals and walked inside. _Oh God no, no, Sakura can't be feeling romantic tonight, not now…_

She was. He entered the dining room to see the table covered with their best white tablecloth and china dishes. More candles burned around the room, and the scent of delicious food wafted from the kitchen.

_Oh no, oh God why do you hate me this much? How can you do this to me? I can't face her now, I can't look at her when I'm about to let her down!_

"You look like someone just smacked you in the face with a board." Naruto heard Sakura's giggling voice from the kitchen before he saw her—all of her. She was wearing some gauzy little nothing that left his imagination with no work to do. "Dinner'll be ready in about three minutes, so just sit down and make yourself comfortable, okay?"

She went back to the kitchen but turned towards Naruto when he squeaked, "Why?"

Sakura smiled and there was so much affection in it that Naruto wanted to beat himself up. "Because I love you, silly." She looked down, and something sad entered her eyes. "I just…recently it's come to my attention that not all men are as wonderful as you are. And I realized how lucky I am, and how much I appreciate you. So I wanted to do something special for you."

She looked up again, and her smile brightened. "I checked and made sure there was no work waiting for you at the office tomorrow. You don't have to go in to work until the afternoon. And I took an evening off. So, you don't have to do anything tonight. You just relax and I'll take care of everything, okay?"

"No." The word came out so forcefully that Naruto was almost as taken aback as Sakura was. She'd worked so hard and done so much but he couldn't go through with this. He looked at the candles and her lingerie; he smelled her food…and felt his gut sinking with each passing second. He wanted so much to grin and bear the shame for her sake but the queasy feeling in his stomach was just going to get worse the longer he let her fool herself into thinking that he was worth all this time. He had to tell her the truth.

Sakura saw the pain and conflict on her lover's face. The smile dropped off of her face and she went rushing over to him. Naruto wished she wouldn't. She had gone to all this trouble and now that he was ruining it she was still thinking of his pain first.

"Naruto, what is it? What happened?"

He opened his mouth to tell her. She deserved to know everything, and he wanted to her to know it. The doubts he was having, the trouble at Tsunade's office, the fight with Kiba, the way he had finally realized that his dream was nothing but a delusion.

But he couldn't. He stood there with his mouth hanging open, staring at Sakura's earnest, worried face and he couldn't bring himself to tell her the truth.

_She supports me, she loves me this much, she goes to so much trouble for me…how can I tell her it was all for nothing?_

Finally, Naruto shut his mouth and turned his gaze to the floor.

He wasn't surprised to hear Sakura sniffling a moment later. She always did cry easily.

"You can't tell me?" she whispered.

Naruto shook his head.

"After all this time…Naruto, I know it's not just tonight! Something in your life is really eating at you. Why can't you tell me? You know I'll help you however I can. But please stop shutting me out of your life. I promised myself I'd wait for you to tell me, but it's been months now and…and I don't know what to do anymore."

Naruto kept his eyes fixed on the floor. He didn't want to see Sakura's teary, bewildered face, though he could see it clearly enough in his mind.

Sakura stood in front of him for what felt like an eternity, staring at him and clenching her fists and praying for Naruto to just look at her.

He didn't.

Sakura sobbed, covering her mouth with one trembling hand. Turning away from Naruto's troubled face, she ran into the bedroom without another word and slammed the door.

Naruto didn't look up for several long minutes. He felt more miserable then he'd ever felt in his life, and didn't have a clue of what to do to make it better. What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he just be satisfied with achieving his dream and make everyone happy, damn it?

Finally Naruto made himself move. Straightening up, he walked slowly around the apartment and put out candles as he went. He went to the kitchen and turned off the burners (upon which rested several different types of ramen) and the stove (in which rested a meat lasagna that appeared to have been made from scratch). The he went to the living room and made himself as comfortable as possible on the couch, because he knew damn well that that was where he'd be sleeping tonight.

Everything was a mess. His work, his love life, his friends…it seemed like there was nothing happy in Konoha to look forward to. Naruto leaned back into the cushions and bitched to himself for a good half hour about the unfairness of it all and how the whole world was against him.

Naruto was not a whiner anymore than a coward, however, and it wasn't long before his brain began to work out ways to make himself feel better.

_The world is all misery?_ Whispered a voice that sounded suspiciously like Naruto at twelve years of age. _Well then, let's make our own fun._

A plan wormed its way into Naruto's mind, and he slowly began to smile. It was time to reacquaint himself with the fine art of practical joking.

* * *

A/N 

Poor Sasuke...I've known people like him, men and women. They get caught up in rules until the idea of fun literally becomes dirty and selfish, and they impress that upon everyone around them. If someone is unlucky enough to marry or be born to them, they tend to be totally ruined as human beings. People like him just wear them down. On the happy end, since the Naruto manga is the way it is, Sasuke will be cured after a good fight with Naruto like everyone else, so Sasuke fans can take heart.

The bit about the common language was pulled out of my ass, and isn't from any official source.

I want to offer a huge thanks to you wonderful people who've reviewed thus far. You make my day. **Please drop me another line!**

Another debt of gratitude goes to my beta Ceras Gala who never lets me get away with less then my best. 

Next: Naruto perks himself up again. Hee hee hee.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Why the hell would I be writing fan fiction if I owned Naruto?

Moving On

Chapter Five

By Michiru's Mirror

* * *

Sasuke was having trouble waking up. This was unusual for a man like him, a creature of discipline who regulated his life down to the tiniest detail. His routine was all laid out: he awoke at five a.m. every morning without even an alarm and did an hour of morning exercises before sitting down to breakfast. In his opinion this discipline encouraged correct thinking; if you got lazy and let your schedule vary it was the first step towards becoming someone with a pointless life like Akimichi Chouji.

That he would feel so unusually exhausted today of all days was shameful: It was the day he would go with Momoko to find out his test results from Sakura. Sasuke did not see the point of bringing Momoko, but Sakura had insisted on her presence and he had promised to do things her way.

He had awoken at 5:30 a.m. and been too tired to do even basic exercises. Dragging himself into the kitchen, he almost fell into a chair and fought to keep himself awake while Momoko bustled around him like a distended shadow fixing his breakfast. What was wrong with him? Was he sick?

Even more annoying was how obsessed he had become with the words Sakura had spoken to him in her office. He couldn't get them out of his head—another disgusting crack in his self-control.

"_In the end everything you do is because you're miserable, and you can't be satisfied until everyone is as miserable as you."_

What was Sakura talking about? What had she meant? Sasuke's mind kept returning to those words, and when they did he would feel as exhausted as he had after his final battle with Itachi.

He told himself again and again that she had been speaking nonsense, that she didn't know what she was talking about. But really, who knew him better than Sakura? Only Naruto, and if Sasuke was being honest with himself that was why he'd spent the last few years avoiding the blond after moving back to Konoha. He didn't want to hear things like that, things that somehow struck his heart as uncomfortably true.

Momoko quietly put down dishes of miso soup, fish, and rice: healthy food that he always insisted upon so that he could train at his maximum potential. He had never considered whether or not he liked the food, and had only seen eating as a necessity to become strong. Today, though, the sight of it made him ill.

Sasuke stared down at the same meal he'd been eating for thirty years and suddenly had such a strong desire for pancakes that he almost told Momoko to make them. That wouldn't have done any good, though; they had nothing like that in the house.

He _thought_ they didn't have anything like that in the house, anyway. He could ask his wife…

But no! Pancakes today would be the first step towards moving his thinking away from the correct path. The next thing he knew he'd be sleeping in at all hours and turning into some useless lump. Sasuke grabbed his chopsticks and began to aggressively stab at his fish.

As Sasuke wasn't going to be meeting with Sakura until evening, and had no missions to occupy his time, he decided to train the day away. Maybe he could make up for his laziness this morning by beating his body into obeying once breakfast was finished.

He had just slipped his boots on when he heard Momoko shrieking from the kitchen. Cursing, he jumped up and ran back into the house without bothering to take his boots off again, nursing images of attacking ninja and blood-spattered walls.

He got to the kitchen to see Momoko squatting on the squeaky-clean counter beside the cabinets. She was pulling their best dishes out and hurtling them at some spot he couldn't see.

"Those are heirlooms!" Sasuke yelled over the crashes. "What are you doing?"

"IT'S A RAT!"

"It's a—_what_?"

"A RAT!" Another priceless dish went flying, breaking and scattering all over the kitchen floor.

The floor was covered in sharp shards of porcelain and china. As Sasuke was wearing his boots, he took more care to stop Momoko then to avoid the ruined dishware, and failed to notice another tiny white shard that appeared without fanfare amongst the mess on the floor. It looked exactly like the rest of the shattered dish pieces and no light or sound heralded its emergence.

Sasuke knew when he stepped on it, though; the almighty bang it made would have alerted a deaf man.

At once something wet, slimy and heavy splattered over his whole body. Was it blood?

Before the smoke could clear, Sasuke was passing his gaping wife with all the speed expected of a Konoha jounin. He entered the bathroom and reached for the first aid kit but he'd need more bandages then he could find in this little thing.

He was about to yell for Momoko to go fetch whatever she could find when he heard a snicker from the kitchen. Oh great, he was bleeding to death and probably losing limbs and she was _laughing_.

Sasuke fumbled for the light switch and flipped it upwards. Blinking at the spots that appeared before his eyes, he squinted into the mirror to see how bad the damage was.

He was greeted by an odd sight. Since when had his blood been _white_?

* * *

Outside of the Uchihas' kitchen window Naruto surreptitiously watched Momoko covering her mouth with both hands to suppress her laughter. Now that she could see that the "rat" was just a genjutsu, she should let the laughter out. He would have. Laughing at Sasuke was one of the highlights of his life.

Of course he only had a moment before Sasuke figured out that whipped cream and blood were not the same thing, and _then_—

"NARUTO!" came Sasuke's thundering voice from the bathroom. Naruto cackled and ran. Funny as it would be to see Sasuke bathed in whipped cream, Naruto didn't come here looking for a fight, and given his friend's tone that was what he'd get if he stuck around.

Still, he couldn't help but regret that he couldn't stay. Naruto really wanted to see Sasuke's face when he realized that the cream didn't wash off!

* * *

Naruto had carefully thought through who the day's victims were going to be before he'd gone to sleep the night before. Sakura's face came to his mind, but he squashed that idea as quickly as possible.

First of all, the one time he'd pulled a practical joke on Sakura successfully he'd paid with worse than a simple beating. It had been a straightforward joke, just slipping a pill into her dessert that turned her mouth blue for a couple of days.

Boy had she let him have it.

_You moron! You insufferable, incorrigible idiot! What's the matter with you? Were you born this insensitive? I have a meeting tomorrow you jackass! I'm going to go into my meeting with a blue mouth and no one is ever going to take me seriously again! You've ruined my career and my life and I swear it'll be too soon if I never see you again!_

Naruto did not help his case by laughing while she yelled, but she just looked so _funny_ with steam almost pouring out of her ears and blue spittle flying all over the place. He tried to point out that a simple genjutsu would cover it up. To Sakura, this was not the point.

Since the yelling didn't get through to him, Sakura made her displeasure very plain by refusing to sleep with him for a month. Going for a month without sex was bad enough at thirty-five; at twenty-two it was murderous. She told him later that she hadn't done it to punish him, that she had just been so mad that she didn't want to touch him. Naruto told her that argument would have fooled him if she hadn't gone around in skirts hiked up to her crotch and shirts down to her navel during that month. She might as well have worn a sign that said SUFFER, NARUTO on her forehead.

Naruto never tried to pull a prank on her again.

Besides, now was probably the worst possible time to piss Sakura off. The shock of last night had made her cry but once she woke up in the morning she was going to be a lot angrier then hurt. It would be best for him to not be in the same apartment with her for awhile, and forget about pulling pranks.

Sasuke had been an obvious choice for a prank that day for a couple of reasons. First and foremost Naruto hadn't seen the guy in months. Couldn't let ol' stick-up-his-ass Uchiha forget about the great Uzumaki Naruto, right?

Second of all, Sasuke was just such a great target for mischief. He got so beautifully riled and indignant that Naruto just couldn't help himself sometimes.

For his next target Naruto picked another man that he enjoyed pulling pranks on, one that he loved nearly as much as Sasuke and had just as perfect a reaction. Grinning again, Naruto tapped the thermos of water he had strapped to his leg and imagined what was to come.

* * *

Umino Iruka shared a small house with his wife Shizune on the eastern outskirts of Konoha village. He always said that he hadn't built it so far away from Naruto's apartment on purpose, but Naruto had trouble believing him sometimes.

In Naruto's opinion, Iruka and Shizune were an example of how wrong a marriage could go. There was no passion in their relationship, no romance of any kind—they had all the chemistry of two dead animals. Iruka said he didn't mind, that Shizune was his best friend and he loved her even if he hadn't been in love with her for years. Naruto couldn't understand that at all. What the hell was the point of marrying someone if you didn't have sex, or cuddles during late nights watching horror movies with popcorn on the sofa, or someone to hold you when you were at your lowest and highest points?

But Iruka seemed to be content with a partnership, and wasn't going to go to all the trouble of a divorce when he didn't really have any complaints.

Naruto thought he was crazy, but what could he do? Except tease Iruka every time he saw him, of course…

Naruto got to Iruka's house and let himself in quietly with the key Iruka had entrusted him with. He walked down the short hallway with its tasteful (and boring) pictures lining the wall until he reached the house's small, tiled kitchen. He didn't bother to hide his footsteps or chakra signature. Shizune was a talented jounin and if he tried anything like that she'd feel it and assume it was an enemy trying to sneak in.

As expected at this time of the morning Iruka was sitting at his kitchen table just as Sasuke had been earlier. Chewing on a piece of dry toast and reading a newspaper, he would have looked like every other teacher in Hi no Kuni getting ready for another day of school, save for the sharp objects hidden all over his body.

So common were Naruto's appearances in his house—Naruto had taken the distance Iruka had put between them as a challenge and visited often—that Iruka didn't even look up from his newspaper as his former student entered the room.

"Naruto, hey. What's up?"

"I want to show you something really cool!" said Naruto, pulling out the thermos and unscrewing the cap.

Iruka swallowed his last bite of toast and put down his newspaper. "Sure, but I hope it's nothing that'll take too long. I have to go soon."

Naruto almost didn't hear him. When Iruka had looked up, Naruto found himself really looking at Iruka for the first time in years. Iruka's hair was going gray and his constant exposure to the sun had left wrinkles all around his eyes. Thirteen years separated Naruto from him; when Naruto was twelve those thirteen years had seemed like a huge, unbridgeable gap. Now he knew what a short time it would be until he reached Iruka's age. He would go gray, his face would sag, and his reflexes would slow.

Old age was something Naruto tried not to dwell on. It was the one opponent he'd never beat no matter how hard he trained or how many jutsu he learned. To a man who had spent his life determined to the point of obsession to control his destiny and make his own choices, it was the most frightening idea in the world.

Naruto scowled briefly. He was here to erase gloomy thoughts like that, and he wasn't going to allow abstract concepts that he could do nothing about ruin his morning.

"Naruto?" Iruka's voice was worried, and Naruto snapped his attention back to his former teacher.

"Oh—sorry, Iruka-sensei. Just watch this!"

Naruto pulled his arm back before flinging it up and forward. He held the thermos tight so that the water flew out of it and hit the ceiling.

From there, the water bounced off like a solid object. Naruto had thrown at roughly a 45 degree angle, and so the water came down at a 90 degree angle…

…Straight towards Iruka's head.

Naruto was grinning ear to ear, good mood restored at the sight of Iruka spluttering like a wet cat and trying to rub water out of his eyes.

"Isn't that cool?" said Naruto before turning to leave.

Naruto didn't think twice about turning his back because knew what was going to happen next. Iruka was dull as dishwater, predictable as the sunrise in the morning; he would yell at Naruto's retreating back and scold him until he was out of earshot. He would _never_ go running over to the sink, grab the bucket underneath it, fill it, and aim it at Naruto's back. Not Umino Iruka. Never in a million years.

"Oh Naruto?" said Iruka.

Naruto was curious enough to turn around again. Iruka's tone was somehow different from the norm.

Icy water crashed over Naruto's body, soaking him from head to foot. For a moment he just stood in the kitchen doorway, gaping like a fish out of water. That hadn't just happened. Iruka hadn't just gotten him that thoroughly. It wasn't possible.

Iruka looked so pleased with himself it was sickening. Putting the bucket down on top of the sink, Iruka leaned against it and crossed his legs. He radiated smug satisfaction. "Go ahead, Naruto, I think you were talking about how cool this sort of thing is."

Well hell, Naruto couldn't just let that insult lie, could he?

Flashing his hands in a number of seals, he quickly called a minor suiton jutsu and spit a stream of water into Iruka's face. It was immensely satisfying to watch Iruka's smirk fade into a look of shock just before the water knocked him back onto his ass.

There was a second where Iruka stared up at Naruto from his puddle of water, and Naruto looked back with his hair and hitai-ate so saturated with wetness that it dripped into his eyes.

Then it was war.

By the time Shizune walked in a moment later to see what all the commotion was, the kitchen was a wreck. Water was up to her ankles, utensils were floating around the room, and her soaked husband was in the process of grabbing the nozzle attached to the sink and aiming it at the face of Naruto, who was making hand seals to perform a water jutsu of some kind.

"HEY!" she yelled so loudly that three houses away an elderly retired chuunin shut her window in irritation while mumbling about inconsiderate youngsters.

Naruto was so intent on blasting Iruka with his suiton that he hadn't felt Shizune enter the room. He swiveled his head in surprise, and the result was Shizune being blasted back into the hallway.

She let out a squawk that was so indignant it had Iruka muffling his laughter even as he went to help her up.

"This is—" Shizune paused to spit out a mouthful of water. "—Not at all funny!"

"No, dear, of course not." Iruka was going to have a bruise on his lip later from biting it so hard, he just knew it.

"This would be cute if you two were thirty years younger, but as it is—! Oh, and I have to meet Tsunade-shishou in twenty minutes!"

Naruto began to make his way quietly towards the door, but was pulled to a halt by Shizune's sharp, "Not so fast!" He had rarely heard her so irritated. He wondered if she knew how much she reminded him of Sakura at the moment.

Shizune sighed. "I needed to talk to you anyway, Naruto-san." Pausing, she grimaced and wrung her hair out. "Tsunade-shishou is leaving for Sunagakure tomorrow, so while she's gone someone will have to take care of her daily tasks."

Naruto felt his heart clench. "…Me?"

Shizune shook her head. "Me. She could be gone for weeks, and there's no guarantee that you won't be called away on ANBU business during that time. So what I really wanted to say was that your apprenticeship will have to be put on hold for a bit. I've got a new apprentice to train and on top of that Hokage duty will keep me too busy to teach you anything myself. Would you mind taking a few weeks off?"

Shizune had no sooner finished speaking before she was tackled by Naruto and pulled into a bear hug that swept her off of her feet.

It was perfect! He had a reprieve, time to figure out how to make last night up to Sakura and to decide just what to do about his decision not to become Hokage. He'd be able to figure out just what to tell Tsunade and the others.

"Naruto," Shizune squeaked. "Please put me down."

She was rigid in his arms and fire-engine red. Next to them Iruka's eyes were wide as dinner plates.

Naruto gently set Shizune on her feet. "Sorry," he said. But he was feeling too good to be sorry for real.

* * *

Unfortunately, his good mood only lasted about half an hour. He got home just in time to catch Sakura leaving for work. She took a second to glare at him as though he was a particularly loathsome minion of Orochimaru's before deliberately bumping him out of her way as she walked by.

Naruto sighed. Oh yeah. He had a lot of work to do, and no idea of how to go about it.

He needed a woman's advice. Ino? She knew Sakura well and was a good friend to him now that he was going over to the Akimichi household so often. But as Sakura's best friend she'd be as angry at him as Sakura was for the way he'd acted last night. She'd be just as likely to kick him out as look at him.

After a moment's deliberation, Naruto settled on Hinata. She gave good, honest advice and she knew what it was like to be hurt by someone you loved. If anyone could help him, she could.

Just as he turned towards the Hyuuga compound, a chuunin messenger came running towards him, waving a scroll in his hand. "NARUTO-TAICHO!"

Naruto sighed. Or not. "Yeah?"

"You're being called out into the field! Emergency retrieval mission." The chuunin said, panting. His hitai-ate was sliding down his sweaty forehead, and his brown hair was damp with moisture.

Naruto sighed and snatched the scroll out of the messenger's hands. Scanning it, he felt relief as it wasn't a job that would take more than a few days. Hell, if he had a few weeks free like Shizune had said then this mission might well be a blessing; he'd leave Konoha for a few days and let Sakura calm dawn before coming back with a proper make-up tactic.

Besides, if he was out of town Sasuke couldn't come looking for revenge.

Running inside his apartment he scribbled a note for Sakura so she wouldn't think he'd left out of anger. He rolled up the scroll with his mission on it, locked his door, and then nodded to the anxious messenger who was now bouncing from foot to foot.

"Let's go."

* * *

Sakura was not to find out that Naruto was gone until much later, for she was very busy at Konoha Hospital. She had managed to convince Tsunade and Shizune to each take on an apprentice, and now it was time for her to choose her own.

She hadn't been putting off deciding on purpose. She'd come to work in the morning and immediately be called into surgery, after which she'd try to finish some paperwork. This would turn out to be an impossible task because every five minutes there was a medic banging on her door begging for help. Just another average day…at the end of which she would meet with Sasuke, who would push her stress levels up even higher.

Sakura sighed. Maybe she had been too hard on Naruto last night and this morning. She had promised herself she'd be understanding about whatever he was going through after all, and he wasn't obligated to feel romantic just because she did.

But she had been so frustrated! Didn't he know how little free time she had, and how much work it had been to get those few hours off? It was humiliating to have been prancing around in see-through lingerie and be brushed off. Even worse was being made to feel like someone untrustworthy and burdensome. When had she gone from being Naruto's support to being a pain in his neck? And why wouldn't he tell her what was wrong?

Maybe that wasn't fair. It probably wasn't about her at all, and if it wasn't it wasn't really her business. It hurt her to admit this to herself, but it wasn't like she was telling him about her problems with Sasuke, was she?

Well, after today she'd lower her stress levels a little bit anyway. The tests were finished and Sakura planned to give Sasuke and Momoko the answers they had come to her to find this very evening. Getting that off of her plate would hopefully lower the amount of tasks she had to do to the point where she could devote time to finding the apprentice she'd agreed to look for. Hopefully that apprentice would be able to help out around the Hospital, and _that_ might bring her workload down to a manageable level.

God willing.

Sakura was putting her signature on a release form for a jounin named Ana when there was a loud knock on her door.

She knew that knock. "Come in, Sasuke-kun," she called.

He entered, tailed by Momoko who had her head meekly lowered just like last time. Sakura would have been depressed just watching it, but she was drawn to Sasuke's odd appearance.

"Sasuke-kun, why are you all red? You look like you've been scrubbing your skin for hours—"

Sasuke pulled out his chair with a loud thump and gave Sakura glare that let her know that that subject was not to be broached. "So," he said. "What did you find out, then?"

Sakura supposed she couldn't blame him for being impatient. This was a big deal, after all.

She pulled the file she'd collected all of her data in out of her top desk drawer where she'd been holding it. "Okay. Simply put, there's nothing wrong with you."

Sasuke frowned and looked as though he couldn't understand what she was saying. Light from the window behind Sakura's head threw his features into sharp relief and made him look angular and harsh, like a weapon.

"What do you mean?" he demanded. "There's obviously something wrong with me."

_Obviously_, thought Sakura snidely though she kept that thought to herself. "Nothing physical. Everything works as it should."

"That isn't possible," Sasuke said, clearly impatient with what he considered to be nonsense. "Why can't I…" A look of almost physical pain crossed his face, "Can't I…if there's nothing wrong?"

Sakura took a deep breath. Here went nothing. "Sasuke-kun…if there's nothing physically wrong…that means the problem must be psychological."

Sasuke waved his hand as though chasing away an irritating insect. "Ridiculous. I'm perfectly stable…what?"

Not only was Sakura staring at him as though he'd grown an extra head, so was Momoko.

"You…" Momoko hesitated before plowing on. "You think that you're…uh…mentally healthy?"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at her, and she flinched. "Are you suggesting I'm not?"

Momoko lowered her gaze but she didn't deny it, much to Sakura's surprise. She admired the girl's gumption, though judging by the look on his face Sasuke didn't.

Quickly, she went on. "Anyway, that being the case, there is no physical way to cure you. I can't just give you a pill."

Sasuke looked like he was going to interrupt, so Sakura jumped forward. "_But_. If you're set on children, like I know you are, there are still ways to give them to you."

"Not adoption?" Sasuke said as though the very idea was repugnant.

Sakura couldn't help but feel indignant, but again she kept her mouth shut. Given what a bad mood she was in, though, it was getting more difficult to do that with every push Sasuke gave her.

"No," she said. "I'm talking about artificial insemination. Have you heard of it? Basically I'd have to pull the semen out of your body since you can't do it on your own—" Sasuke winced at the jab and Sakura felt a moment of petty satisfaction at his discomfort. "And I'd place it with your ovules, Momoko-chan, and that would be that."

Sasuke leaned back in his chair and looked thoughtful. "So we'd get children without the mess and hassle of sex."

"Sometimes it takes a few tries to take. But yes, in the end that would be the result."

Sasuke looked almost pleased. In his eyes it seemed science had become a beautiful thing. "All right. Tell me more about this procedure."

Momoko broke in then. Her face had gone a pasty color and her eyes were wide. Her hair hung over her face and hid her expression from her husband—who wasn't really paying attention anyway—but Sakura could see the negative emotions as they flittered across the girl's face: anger, fear, shock, depression.

"Excuse me, Sakura-sensei…you mean that there would be no physical contact at all, but I would get pregnant?"

"Once I implant the fertilized egg back into your body, yes."

"You said it might take a few tries before the procedure takes," said Sasuke. "What are the chances of it working, and is there any way to increase those chances?"

Sasuke asked questions and Sakura answered them as best she could. She kept her voice level and calm, and kept her eyes on her friend, but from the corner of her eye she watched Momoko. The girl had begun to tremble slightly, and had wrapped her arms around herself as though trying to protect her body from harm.

Sakura didn't have to have Ino's mind reading jutsu to know what the girl was thinking and feeling. Here was the collapse of all of her dreams. With this procedure Sasuke would never have a reason to touch or even look at her ever again, and by now Momoko knew that Sasuke had no interest in being around her more than was absolutely necessary.

Momoko would spend her life a virgin, never knowing the touch of a man from desire or even affection. Once the first children were born she would be trapped in her huge, lavish prison even more than she already was. She would raise little Uchiha clones to be as miserable as their parents and watch as the life was drained out of them by their robotic father and neurotic mother.

"I want a divorce."

Sasuke and Sakura stopped talking at once, Momoko's quiet words cutting across their conversation as clearly as if she had shouted. Sakura was surprised, but she could see that her shock was nothing compared to Momoko's own. She clearly hadn't planned to say what she had, and her face showed it.

Sasuke slowly turned to face her, his eyes narrowing and his face hardening into his most intimidating expression.

"What?" he said in a low and dangerous voice.

Sakura expected Momoko to back down. She would hang her head and mumble apologies, or say she didn't mean it.

But it seemed that Sakura did not know Momoko very well. Just because Momoko had surprised herself by speaking the truth didn't mean that she wasn't planning to stick by it.

She took a deep breath, looked into Sasuke's eyes, and said, "_I want a divorce_."

* * *

A/N

The prank with the exploding tags was my idea, but the water fight was a true story about my father and his friends in college. Apparently by the time they'd finished their dorm rooms were ankle-deep in water.

If y'all like prank fics, try HokageNaruto's "Immature for Life." It's really funny.

Love to all who've reviewed so far, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your ideas, compliments and criticisms. Please drop me a line for this chapter also, I'm happy to hear whatever you have to say.

Next: Momoko and Sasuke face off, Tsunade heads for Sunagakure, and Naruto plays poker. Heh heh.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Naruto's not mine.

Warnings: CHARACTER DEATH. And NO it's not Naruto or Sakura before anyone asks!

Moving On

Chapter Six

By Michiru's Mirror

* * *

The problem with Jiraiya was that he was an ass.

Tsunade knew this, and hadn't wanted to bring him along on such a vitally important diplomatic mission, but she knew it was better to keep him close. He was determined to seize the unprecedented chance to observe the ladies of Sunagakure and Iwagakure in a peaceful setting, and Tsunade knew that if she didn't include him in her retinue he would go by himself. Having an Iwagakure diplomat discover one of Konoha's prize ninja peeking at her from behind a bush was not how Tsunade wanted to open relations.

So, she had labeled Jiraiya her "head advisor" and planned on keeping him within her sight at all times until the negotiations were concluded.

They had barely been on the road for an hour and Tsunade was already considering knocking him out and hiding him in her bag. It wasn't enough that he had to leer at all three of the unmarried women in her retinue, no, he had to leer at the four married ones too. Two of whose husbands were also present.

Some days she thought he was _trying_ to piss her off.

To be fair, it wasn't like he was actually going to do anything. One of the reasons Tsunade had never had any attraction to her former teammate was how pathetic she thought he was when it came to other people. If he wasn't paying a woman for her attentions and she wasn't under the age of twenty, he didn't have the guts to do any more than ogle her and write porn with her as the subject. She hadn't been even remotely surprised when he'd told her over drinks that she was too old for him to be attracted to any longer. It didn't matter that she was beautiful. She was old enough to remind Jiraiya of his own age, and he would do anything to avoid that revelation.

For him, if a woman was not a plaything, she was an object of fear. He could see her as a comrade, or a friend, or a co-worker but a lover? She challenged him too much for that.

Tsunade sighed. She had long ago stopped asking herself just why she was so attached to him. She thanked whatever Gods were listening that her feelings weren't romantic but they were strong nevertheless; Jiraiya was a brother, a friend, and a trusted comrade.

But he was still an ass, damn it!

Aside from Jiraiya, Tsunade had picked a team of twenty jounin to accompany her. Most were in their twenties and thirties and acting as security, but a few were in their fifties and sixties, there to give her perspective and the force of their experience. It had been almost a full day since the group had set out from Konoha, and the terrain was turning dusty and dry already. Everyone was relieved to see a patch of forest only about half an hour's walk ahead; it would be nice to get under some cover. It was autumn, but walking with the sun beating down directly on their heads was still uncomfortable.

As though he knew she was thinking about him, Jiraiya came weaving his way over to Tsunade with a bunch of new sketches of various asses in his hand. "Tsunade, you picked this crew with great skill!" he announced in a voice that carried at least three miles down the road.

"Yes I did," Tsunade agreed. "They're all skilled ninja who know excellent genjutsu to escape from you if you get funny."

"You know what your problem is, Tsunade? You need to lighten up." Jiraiya flung his huge arm around her shoulder, making her grunt and catch her balance. "It's a beautiful day, and we're surrounded by beautiful women. How could it get better?"

"You moron, what are beautiful women supposed to do for me?"

"Well, you can still enjoy the day." Jiraiya fumbled around his left hip to find the flask attached to it. Tsunade guessed it wasn't water. "Did I tell you I have another book being published when we get back? Icha Icha Perfect. I'll have to give you a copy."

"Right. How many women does the hero get to sleep with this time?"

"Oh, I lost count somewhere along the way, but I think you'll like this one. Do you know why? There's an older woman for a heroine!" Jiraiya leaned his head down to Tsunade and whispered into her ear, "She's twenty-seven."

"Practically pushing for a pension," said Tsunade. "Now give me some of that sake."

Jiraiya turned wide innocent eyes onto her, which looked kind of creepy. "Sake?" He hastily put the flask back onto his thigh. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh come on!" Tsunade threw Jiraiya's arm off of her shoulders and rounded on him. "I think this is the first time in about thirty years that Shizune hasn't been at my shoulder. I can finally enjoy my sake in peace, and you're holding out on me? That's just cruel."

Jiraiya began to desperately look around for something to change the subject—he knew full well that Shizune would murder him when he got back if he gave Tsunade any alcohol. He finally resorted to mumbling about having to use the bathroom, scooted past some heartily chortling jounin and ducked behind some very poisonous looking shrubs.

Tsunade grinned. She'd heal the rashes—if he gave her some sake in return.

* * *

Sakura stared from Momoko to Sasuke, examining the hostility in their expressions and body language. She had an uneasy feeling that asking them to not fight in her office would be completely ineffectual; this was a confrontation that had been building up for two years and nothing could stop it now. The best she could do was keep herself out of the line of fire and make sure they didn't hurt each other—or that Sasuke didn't hurt Momoko, anyway.

Sakura chewed her lip. That could be a problem. She was justifiably proud of her skills as a medic, and her abilities as a warrior weren't too shabby either. But compared to Sasuke she might as well be a rank genin, and if Sasuke really got violent there wasn't much she could do.

Sakura's mind immediately began to gather ideas together, thinking of ways to get between the two without getting herself killed. She couldn't think of many, and what she did come up with was questionable at best.

So she did her best to remain invisible behind her desk. This was not difficult, as Sasuke and Momoko both seemed to have forgotten that she was in the room.

"Don't be childish," Sasuke snapped at his wife. "Do you know how much shame you'd bring to us both if you instigated a divorce?"

"Shame, shame, shame, it's all about your shame!" Momoko's body shook violently, making the chair beneath her rattle against the wooden floor. Her eyes were wide, her pupils dilated and her breath came in pants. "People don't matter to the mighty Uchiha, right? People are pieces of…of _tissue paper_, there to wipe filth on and be thrown away! All that matters is the Uchiha pride!"

"Not pride, duty." Sasuke was getting angry. His lips had thinned into a black slash across his face, and his voice held a threat in every quiet word he spoke. "Any _decent_ Hyuuga would understand the importance of duty to his clan."

"Don't you lecture me about duty! I've done my duty for seventeen years and where am I now? I'm a fat, useless lump under the thumb of a lunatic! My duty has done nothing to make me happy!" Momoko shrieked.

"Happy?" Sasuke was incredulous. "What does being happy have to do with anything? I've never been happy once in my whole life."

Momoko let out a scream that Sasuke and Sakura belatedly realized was a derisive laugh. "Oh that's right, you're a noble suffering saint, aren't you? You and your tragic life lead you to become a great man whom nobody likes!"

"How pitiful," said Sasuke, a sneer marring his handsome face. "Happiness? Friendship? A woman raised by a clan as noble as the Hyuuga shouldn't be worrying about trivialities like that!"

"Pitiful?" Momoko yelled, knocking her chair back and drawing herself to her full height. She was too short for this to be a particularly impressive move, but the idea was there. "Which one of us is pitiful?

"How much time do you spend on your looks, Sasuke-san? How careful are you to apply sun block on your beautiful porcelain skin every morning? How long does it take you to arrange your hair perfectly and pick out clothes that just happen to accentuate your muscles so well?"

Sasuke's complexion had gone the color of rotting porridge. "Don't try and paint that the wrong way, Momoko. I don't want to get cancer, do I? Sun block is important…and my clothes are _functional_."

Momoko gave another one of her laughs that was more a scream, and Sakura began to sink lower and lower in her chair.

"When will it be enough? When will you have enough attention and admiration? When will you stop obsessing about being perfect? You've spent your life surrounding yourself with admirers and rejecting anyone who challenges your pathetic ego!"

Momoko turned her head to Sakura with a snap. It looked like she was remembered after all. "Let me guess. When you two were paired on the same team, he made a point of telling you how irritating and useless you were, while somehow managing to constantly be around you and protect you from harm. It's brilliant: He keeps you under control with insults and abuse while keeping you close by so you can feed his self-confidence with your adoration and worship!"

Sasuke's face was looking more and more enraged with every word she spoke. "Shut up, shut up, just shut your mouth and stop talkin--k"

"I will NOT!" Momoko screamed. Her hands went to her hair and began to pull, creating horrible stretching and ripping noises that made Sakura wince. "You have no excuse! And I won't let you run away from the truth like this anymore! You don't deserve it!

"Why did you choose me, huh? Of all the girls worshipping at your feet, I wasn't the prettiest or the richest or the youngest or the strongest. I was just the most admiring, and the stupidest! You're so pathetic you had to take a little girl dumb enough to think you were anything other than a loser to feed your pride!"

"Don't you dare blame me," Sasuke stood up now, and he towered over his wife. "I told you right from the beginning what this was about, I told you I didn't have any feelings for you—"

"Yeah, so I'm an idiot! We both know that by now. That doesn't explain why you didn't choose…say, Takahashi Noriko. She was young, gorgeous, powerful, and a gold digger! She would have given you all the kids you wanted and understood it was a business arrangement. But she didn't kiss your feet properly, did she? She saw you as a financial opportunity, and even though you see everyone as nothing more than things for your use, you can't stand the thought of anyone seeing _you_ that way!

"So you make sure you're the best, the most beautiful, the most driven so that everyone is fooled about just how disgusting you really are! But it's not enough for you, is it?"

"Shut up," said Sasuke, now looking as murderous as he had when facing off against Itachi. "I'm warning you…"

But Momoko advanced on Sasuke with an insane smirk on her face that made her somehow inhuman and menacing. "You know whose approval you're really looking for, don't you? But you know what, Sasuke-san?

"_Even if he was still alive, you still wouldn't be good enough for your father_."

It happened so fast that Sakura didn't even see it clearly. Sasuke's fist smashed into Momoko's face with all the force he could muster. She went flying over her chair and into the wall behind her, screeching as her leg was bent into an angle it shouldn't have gone. Her head hit the wall with a sickening thud, and she slid to the ground with blood pouring over her face and chest.

Sakura was between them in a flash, frightened but understanding her duty as a medic and a conscientious human being.

Sasuke's fists were raised and his eyes were red with the tomoe swirling so quickly that Sakura almost got vertigo. "Move out of the way," he growled, and Sakura understood that if she didn't obey she was going to get hurt.

_Oh, I'm _really_ going to earn my paycheck today._

"No," she said calmly, with all the authority she could muster. After years of staring at gruesomely mauled bodies and facing the deaths of her loved ones countless times, she had become quite brilliant at hiding fear. "You need to calm down, Sasuke-kun. You don't—"

"I'll tell everyone." Momoko's cut in. Her voice was weak but clear. Even violence, it seemed, was not enough to shut her up now. "You'll give me my divorce or I'll tell everyone you're impotent."

Sasuke froze.

Momoko could barely raise her head, but the look on her face was as determined as she could make it. "This is a good offer, Sasuke-san. Give me my divorce with no hassle, and I'll take all the blame for neglecting my duty as a wife and Hyuuga. All you have to do to save face is not give me any trouble.

"But if you try and stop me I'll tell everyone in Konoha about you, and there goes your reputation for good!"

Sasuke's face was thunderous, and Sakura knew he was angry enough to murder right now. She badly wanted to call on her chakra or grab Momoko and teleport out of the office. But she knew any sudden move on her part might provoke Sasuke into hurting or even killing her.

"Sasuke-kun," she said quietly. "Don't do this. If divorce is shameful, think of the scandal that will come from murdering your wife!"

To her relief, Sakura saw Sasuke pause. His rage was in no way appeased, but oh that Uchiha pride—even now it was the driving force behind his every decision.

Abruptly, Sasuke turned and stormed from Sakura's office. It was a wise decision; Sakura knew that he was putting distance between them so he would not lose his temper.

Sakura let her body sag and let out all the breath she'd been holding in one dramatic whoosh.

_Thank goodness, for a minute there I really thought he was going to…_

_Oh, Sasuke-kun! I know you're better then this. If only you knew it too.__  
_

But Sakura knew better then to stand still for more than a second. Momoko was behind her bleeding and hurt, in need of immediate medical attention.

Kneeling down, Sakura slowly moved towards the cowering girl as though she were a wounded animal. Momoko flinched like one but let the older woman examine her anyway.

Broken nose, dislocated shoulder, broken leg, internal bleeding, more bruises then Sakura could count. There was no way she could heal all of this in one go—poor Momoko was going to have to walk around looking like raw hamburger for at least a few days.

What a day.

* * *

Sakura wasn't sure when Naruto entered her head. Was it when Sasuke had showed such satisfaction at the idea of babies without the "hassle" of sex? Was it when he punched Momoko over a chair and into a wall? Or was it when she began to fear for her own life?

She didn't know. As she began to patch Momoko up Sakura realized that she had been thinking of Naruto for some time, the image of his whiskered face and messy hair floating around along with all the other jumbled thoughts in her mind. She thought of how much she loved him. She thought of how he would never treat her the way Sasuke treated Momoko, and of how glad she was that she had chosen him. But most of all she thought of him and all the challenges and changes in his life.

He was obviously in pain, and had been for months now. But Sakura didn't have the slightest clue of what could be causing it. This total blackout was a new experience; while Naruto hadn't always told her how he was feeling about everything, she had rarely had any problem reading the comments he made and his body language.

Really, their whole relationship was built on reading each other. They spent their early and mid-teens figuring each other out, and from there went on to form a relationship built more on understanding then words.

They had dated other people throughout their mid teens, and Sakura was glad that she had done so (though of course the thought of Naruto with another woman didn't make her all that happy). Seeing other men had shown her that no matter how strong they were, no matter how cool, no matter how handsome, they just weren't _him_ and thus they weren't good enough. Sakura knew that if she hadn't had the chance to date anyone but Naruto, she would have spent her whole life wondering if he was the one for her. The way things had turned out, she knew absolutely for certain.

She wondered when Naruto had the same revelation she had, that she was The One. All she knew for sure was that sometime in their late teens they just stopped seeing other people, and started hanging out together more and more often.

She thus can't remember the exact date that they became an item, because though she considered the day of the Great Snow Fight to be their anniversary (and God help Naruto if he forgets it), she knew that for weeks before that it would have been cheating if she'd started dating someone else.

The Great Snow Fight happened on December 19th, and was exactly what it sounded like. Naruto had gone to Konoha Hospital to pick Sakura up (which he had been doing an awful lot lately), and they had begun walking towards Sakura's house. The air was freezing but clear, and snow piled along the road almost up to their knees.

Sakura remembered that they were still blocks away from her home when Naruto put his arm around her. She let him do it, and leaned her head against his shoulder.

Totally relaxed and comfortable, Sakura let Naruto lead her towards her house. For the first time in awhile she didn't think about anything at all.

When something cold and wet hit the back of her neck, Sakura was taken totally unawares. She flew apart from Naruto and one hand went to the back of her neck to find cold snow dripping down her collar. "W-what?"

She belatedly realized that Naruto was pointing at her and laughing so hard he was sliding around on the icy path. His hair was in disarray and his eyes closed, his mouth open so wide with mirth that Sakura could probably have fit her whole fist inside of it.

"You—you—_jerk_!" And Sakura really was a little irritated; she had been forced back to reality so abruptly when she had been so comfortable!

Momentarily seeing red, Sakura grabbed a huge lump of snow and threw, hitting Naruto in his open mouth.

Naruto began to splutter and cough, and Sakura felt her anger vanish completely at the sight. It was her turn to point and laugh—and have snow thrown at her while doing so.

The next ten minutes were devoted to flinging and dodging flying white projectiles, which became more and more difficult as both combatants began to laugh harder and harder. The snowball fight finally degenerated into Naruto and Sakura collapsing all over each other giggling and shoving snow into each other's faces.

Lying on the ground breathless, Sakura felt Naruto's arms wrap around her from behind, and again she allowed it.

_Moron. If he tries to throw any more snow at me now I'll really be pissed._

But he didn't.

They never really said to each other aloud that they were an item, and it was years before any "I love you's" were exchanged. It was just understood.

Naruto was easy to understand because he had always understood himself, in Sakura's opinion. He had known what he wanted and gone after it without caring who knew about it. Did his sudden silence mean that he was unsure of something?

If Sakura was being honest, she was scared that he was unsure of her. She wasn't too worried about marriage, and she meant what she'd said to Naruto weeks ago—she didn't really want the added responsibilities of marriage just yet herself. But did the fact that he didn't want it mean that he didn't like her any more?

She didn't think so. She hoped not. She trusted that Naruto loved her, and she knew she loved him back. It just hurt so badly that the only thing she could do for him now was wait.

But if that was what he needed, that was what she'd do.

Sakura sighed and helped Momoko to her feet.

* * *

Tsunade and her retinue decided to break for the night when rain clouds began to threaten overhead. Everyone was happy to find a small inn at the edge of the forest; cramped and dirty, it was still far preferable to sleeping outside in a full blown storm.

Tsunade left the others to settle the bill while she ran to the bathroom to take care of the roiling indigestion that had been bothering her for the past few hours. She didn't care how unhygienic this place was, it was fifty times better then sitting on a log all night in the pouring rain while Jiraiya snickered at her from behind a rock.

Tsunade spent the better part of an hour in the bathroom, her self-control just barely keeping her from groaning aloud. She couldn't fight the truth any longer, she was old and her body just wasn't working as well as it used to.

Nor were her instincts quite as honed as they had once been. Tsunade had always been a formidable warrior but she had not seen battle in decades, as her talents were put towards training and diplomacy instead. Given her body's discomfort, it was easy to miss some of the signs of danger around her.

She finally left the bathroom and headed for the inn's tavern. To hell with her digestive system, if she couldn't enjoy a little sake now and again life wasn't worth living anyway.

She found Jiraiya sitting at the bar, his ass sketches lying ignored beside him, his expression oddly serious. In an attempt to cheer him up, Tsunade began to tease: "If you actually publish any of those things you realize I won't try and stop the victims from burning down your house."

Jiraiya looked a bit taken aback, and then his gaze turned serious again. "Tsunade, you've really been off the battlefield for too long. Look around you."

Tsunade recognized the seriousness in his tone. He wasn't teasing but actually scolding, and his words were quiet but harsh. She responded immediately and glanced at her surroundings. What she saw was three-fourths of her entourage unconscious over drinks, their heads resting on their arms and their bodies awkwardly arranged on uncomfortable wooden chairs.

"Ah," said Tsunade. She might have been out of practice but she was still far too experienced to be easily shocked or panicked. "This is a trap, of course."

She sat down smoothly and spoke as quietly as she could. She didn't feel any chakra signatures nearby, but given that about fifteen jounin had just been poisoned without any of them noticing she guessed that her opponent was quite skilled.

"Of course," Jiraiya echoed. "I tried to wake them up, but no one has so much as stirred. And the others upstairs are just gone—I can't find bodies or even blood."

"And you just left me in the bathroom?"

"I didn't realize you were rusty enough to need help," said Jiraiya, and Tsunade couldn't help but feel a bit ashamed. "I didn't think they'd take you out so easily, so I came back to keep an eye on our host."

Tsunade nodded. It was most likely him who had poisoned the drinks, after all. "Has he done anything?"

"Not that I've heard from out here. I didn't want to corner him 'till you got back, though. I'll need cover in case whoever took out the jounin upstairs comes barging in."

Tsunade nodded again and stood. "Let's do it the other way. I'll question and you keep watch—if you're in such great shape that's best, right?" It was a petty jab, but she couldn't help it. His words had been a serious blow to her pride, especially because they were true.

Quietly, keeping all their senses open, the two sannin crept into the kitchen. It was tiny and messy, with pots piled up as high as a person on every surface and plates left soaking in filthy water in the sink.

They were ready for traps but there were none, and no people save for the old innkeeper who sat crying in the corner of the room.

Tsunade knelt down next to his crouched and shivering form and put a gentle hand on his shoulder. "I take it you were coerced?"

The innkeeper didn't insult her intelligence by pretending he didn't know what she meant. He nodded miserably and sniffled out, "I'm sorry."

"What did you give them?"

He gestured towards a bottle tipped over nearby. "They…they told me to give you poison but…I-I couldn't. I just gave them some of the barbiturates my wife used to use before she passed on instead."

Tsunade smiled and said, "You're very brave." She meant it—if this man had been threatened with death, defying the orders he'd been given had taken a lot of guts. He wasn't very smart, of course….It would have been a much better idea to tell the people who could help him about the way he was being threatened instead of knocking them out but Tsunade knew that panicking, terrified people rarely thought clearly or acted rationally.

"Did you see who threatened you?" She asked, keeping her voice gentle.

The man flinched as though he'd been struck and looked quickly around the kitchen as though expecting an attacker to come flying at him from out of the wall. Tsunade held her temper in check and waited for him to collect himself.

Finally, trembling, he gestured for her to come closer. Licking his dry lips he whispered:

"_Iwagakure_."

Tsunade and Jiraiya exchanged grim looks. They needed no words to help each other understand the seriousness of the situation. It seemed they had been lured out into a poorly defended position with promises of diplomacy in order to become victims. And once they took care of Konoha's leader and best jounin out here in the middle of nowhere, Iwagakure could move on to attack a leaderless, defenseless Konoha with impunity.

Tsunade stood and said, "I want you to stay inside the inn, all right? My friend and I will go out and take care of the threat, but I need you to wake up your other customers and get them ready to run if worst comes to worst."

Behind her, Jiraiya nodded.

"B-but—" The innkeeper's eyes were as wide as the dinner plates soaking behind him in the sink. "Why go outside? _They're_ outside!"

Jiraiya smiled grimly. "We know, and they know we know. They're waiting us out for now, but once they get impatient they'll come in after us with poison gasses and projectile weapons. That will put everyone in this inn at risk, and they know we won't do that if we can avoid it."

It was Tsunade's turn to nod. She had told Naruto years ago that sometimes protecting your own people meant letting others suffer. But letting others suffer for no reason other than to save your own skin? Tsunade never wanted to become someone that low, and for all of Jiraiya's faults, she knew he didn't either.

"With luck, you won't have to worry about it," said Tsunade as she headed for the door with Jiraiya. "We'll fight them outside, and we'll take care of them there if we can. But…be prepared."

She nodded to the poor, terrified old man one last time and walked out.

She and Jiraiya walked slowly through the tavern and out into the hallway, heading side by side for the door. They were silent for a moment, until it seemed Jiraiya couldn't take it any more.

"Y'know, I wrote Icha Icha Perfect as an end to the series? I tried to write it as a cliffhanger like all the others, but somehow it just wouldn't work that way."

"Don't get morbid, old man. We don't know we're going to die here."

Jiraiya smiled wanly. "Don't be ridiculous, old lady. These ninja are being more cautious then I've ever seen an enemy be: Luring us out into the middle of nowhere, knocking out our security, using civilians as hostages. They know goddamn well who we are and are obviously very, very prepared for our abilities.

"We're not walking away from this one, Tsunade."

Tsunade stopped, and felt a cold wave wash over her, making her shiver and forcing her to clench her hands into fists to keep control. Had she known her time was nearing too? Was that why she'd left Shizune behind and given Naruto time off, so he'd be rested when it was time for him to take over?

She pulled herself under control and walked with Jiraiya the rest of the way to the door. They looked out through the window, and saw no one.

"They're waiting for us to come out," Jiraiya said.

"Yeah." Tsunade grinned and raised her thumb. "Let's see if they're waiting for Katsuya."

Jiraiya grinned back and raised his own thumb, biting into it. When she saw his smile Tsunade felt a wave of affection so strong it almost brought her to her knees. She would not outlive another loved one, not this time. And if it really was the end, she could not think of anyone she'd rather be fighting beside. Naruto had proven he was ready to be Hokage, and Shizune was safe in Konoha.

It was a good day to die.

Jiraiya's expression changed, just a little, and his hand reached out to squeeze her own for the first time. They only stayed that way for a second, a second of grinning like fools and sharing warmth and the weight of six decades of friendship but it was enough. Neither was afraid to die any longer.

They unlinked their hands and turned back to the outside.

"Ready?" Jiraiya asked.

"Ready. Let's see if you can keep up with me, old man."

Jiraiya decided that just this once, he'd let her get the last word in.

He took the inn doorknob, nodded to Tsunade, and flung it open.

Tsunade and Jiraiya ran outside, roaring their final challenge to the world to come and take them on.

* * *

A/N

What I thought was gonna be one chapter looks like it's gonna be two or three, so Naruto playing poker and his reunion with Sakura will be next.

I'll be out of town for about five days, so the next chapter will be in about two weeks.

As ever, I'd love to hear what you think! Review please, with praise or criticism!


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Naruto's not mine.

Warnings: Just some language.

Moving On

Chapter Seven

By Michiru's Mirror

* * *

Sakura managed to get Momoko to her feet, though the girl was shaking like a leaf and crying uncontrollably. Gently maneuvering her over to the upright chair that Sasuke had sat in, Sakura set the girl down and walked over to the cabinet where her coffee maker was. 

She reached behind it to the small bottle of sake she kept hidden behind a stack of files. There were times when coffee just wasn't enough.

Taking out two small sake cups, Sakura poured a small amount of the heady liquid into them and handed one to Momoko before sitting down.

Momoko sniffed and stared confusedly at the cups. "What's this?"

"Sake," said Sakura patiently. "Go ahead, it'll help you relax."

Momoko frowned. "I'm…I've never been drunk."

"And you won't start now," said Sakura, grinning. This is just one cup to help you loosen up. I'm not planning on giving you any more."

"Oh," said Momoko in a tiny voice. She stared at the sake cup as though it might attack her before slowly picking it up and lining it up with her mouth. She took a deep breath, as though steeling herself for something, and then gulped the liquid very quickly.

The expected amount of coughing and blushing followed. Sakura couldn't help but grin, since she remembered having the same reaction the first (and second and third) time she'd imbibed sake. "Give it a minute."

Momoko stared at the sake bottle as though it had indeed attacked her. "Why do people drink this…oh, that's why." Momoko visibly slumped in her seat, a small grin stretching across her face.

Sakura drank her own and leaned back in her chair, letting the wonderful effect wash over her tense and tired body. Although Sakura heartily disapproved of using alcohol to avoid problems, there were times when just giving yourself a break was the best thing you could do for your health, right?

Besides, she could hardly talk to Momoko if the poor girl was so wound up.

"Now then," Sakura said once Momoko had melded fully with her chair. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you for some help."

Momoko looked apprehensive, but nodded her head. "I certainly owe you after all the work you did for my…husband."

Sakura fought to keep herself from rolling her eyes.

"…Right. Anyway, I'm hoping you can do a little work for me. I'm afraid I'm completely bogged down by all the work I have here at the Hospital. Haven't had a moment to myself in about a year. I am in desperate need of some help, and I was hopeful that you might be willing to take up a job as my secretary."

Momoko's eyes narrowed, though not in any hostile way. Instead she seemed pensive; Sakura supposed it had been too much to hope for that a very obvious act of charity could be mistaken for anything else.

"Thank you for the offer, Haruno-sensei, but I'm sure you can find more suitable candidates then myself."

Sakura cursed internally. Not only had Momoko not been fooled into thinking that Sakura was asking for help instead of giving it, she wasn't even pretending to misunderstand. Oh, that Hyuuga pride—it wasn't as bad as Uchiha pride, apparently, but what the hell was Momoko going to do to live if she wasn't taking any of Sasuke's money in the divorce and refused to take the job Sakura was offering? She didn't have the skills to get a job anywhere at this point.

"Well, I'm not sure if I can," Sakura lied. "I heard you had a real eye for details, and frankly, most candidates are busy with their other ninja duties."

Momoko flinched at that and Sakura regretted saying it, but it was definitely one qualification that Momoko had: She was free in a way no active ninja could be.

"Besides," Sakura continued before Momoko could refuse her again. "I really need the help, and I plan to make you work. Just look at this mess!" Sakura gestured around the office and let the state of it speak for itself with its person-sized stacks of papers and files flowing out of their cabinets.

Momoko gave another tiny smile at that, and Sakura was struck by what a pretty girl she was. "Well…"

"Come on," Sakura cajoled. "I need help and you need a job. I'm not saying you have to stay here forever, but why can't we help each other out for a few months while we try and get a handle on the giant mess masquerading as our lives?"

She got a giggle for that, and felt absurdly proud of herself.

* * *

Momoko was more than a little frightened of going home that night, but there was no alternative. The Hyuuga elders would kick her out if she dared to show her face around the compound 

_You're a married woman! Are you trying to shame yourself and us by running away from your duties as a wife?_

but she refused to compromise her pride any further by asking Sakura to take her in, and she didn't have money to find her own place.

Yet there was no need to worry, for Sasuke did not return home that evening, nor the next. Momoko was relieved but couldn't help but wonder where he was—she didn't think he had any friends to stay with.

She would have been shocked to see him. Sasuke wandered the streets of Konoha, heedless of the people and buildings around him. Without food, water or rest he walked the streets until his feet swelled, sweat coated his body and his eyes grew wide and bloodshot.

_Everything you do is because you're miserable, and you can't be satisfied until everyone is as miserable as you._

Sasuke's head jerked as though he had been struck. Those near him exchanged glances of confusion.

_Even if he was still alive, you still wouldn't be good enough for your father_.

The head jerk was more violent this time, a physical representation of Sasuke's denial of the cruelly true statements that had been forced upon him.

How dare they? How dare they speak to him that way? He was Uchiha Sasuke, heir to the greatest clan of Konoha that had once policed the entire village.

_But were they necessary? The Uchiha police have been gone for almost three decades and Konoha is thriving now—_

No! The Uchiha had a great and burning sense of duty that gave purpose to their lives and the lives of everyone around them!

He didn't understand people like Naruto and Chouji who gave up all dignity as men by choosing their own pleasure over their responsibilities as ninja. Why, Chouji had given up active duty as a ninja to teach at the Konoha Academy—imagine a jounin, a clan leader at that, teaching snot-nosed little brats at a _school_! How could he show his face around Konoha, let alone do it with the idiotic smile that he always had?

He had to endure an amount of good-natured ribbing from his friends, of course, but Chouji had put up with the teasing in good humor. Whenever he'd had enough, he usually pointed out that he was currently big enough to force the one teasing him to the ground and fart on their faces until they passed out. This ended any bullying well enough.

Sasuke, however, felt too offended that a clan leader would make such an undignified and improper choice to back down. He had one day asked Chouji why he had chosen the path he had.

"I like kids," Chouji had said, shrugging and unashamed.

"So? Don't you want more for yourself then playing house with an insipid woman and a handful of brats?"

Chouji put up with barbs aimed at his job well enough but a jab at his _family_ was worse then one aimed at his weight. All one hundred and ninety inches of him was abruptly in Sasuke's face and turning red.

"More?" he'd yelled, making the people around the two jounin turn around in alarm. "Only a person like you would think that there's more then what I have!

"If my country or my village needed my services, don't you dare suggest that I don't know my responsibilities as a jounin! But Hi no Kuni does _not_ need me right now, and Konoha is _not_ at war with any other villages, so what's wrong with taking proper care of my family and guiding the next generation of ninja into becoming good people as well as talented fighters?

"There is nothing "more" than being a father to my children and a husband to my wife. My family will know me—I won't raise boys who only know their parents as abstract figures in history textbooks!

"You go ahead and fool yourself into thinking you're more than a cog in the machine if you want to. But don't you put your mentality on me, and don't you ever tell me how to raise my family or run my life, especially not when your own is nothing but a disaster!"

Sasuke had bristled but before he could say a thing Sakura had come bustling over with a white face and calming words. Chouji's outburst, and the growing rage on both men's faces, had been enough to scare some onlookers into going and fetching her.

Sasuke had thought nothing of Chouji's words that day—the other man was obviously deluding himself about how much pride he'd abandoned when he'd chosen the path he'd had.

But now those words came back to him. It was one thing when Chouji spoke against him. But combined with Sakura and Momoko—and the self-doubts in his own head—they were suddenly harder to ignore.

Sasuke's mind was muddled beyond comprehension. It was speeding forward in a jumble of memories and thoughts and fears…

_Your life is nothing but a disaster!_

_Everything you do is because you're miserable, and you can't be satisfied until everyone is as miserable as you._

He snapped to himself that it wasn't true, that his life hadn't been a waste or a bog of misery or a disaster but somehow he just didn't believe it anymore…

_What have you accomplished? What in your life have you done other then take decades to kill one man, fail to replenish your bloodline and hurt everyone who trusted you in the process?_

_But I'm doing everything right!_ Sasuke yelled to that niggling little voice in his head. _I'm doing my duty, I'm following the proper Uchiha way. I'm a good Uchiha and a good ninja God damn it! I'm_ correct!

Every time he told himself this it felt less true. His mind flew faster and faster until he could barely see the road in front of him.

* * *

It was two days later that Naruto made his way back to Konoha with an embarrassed Akimichi Shotaro in his arms. 

Naruto had been less then amused to find out that the important mission he was to be sent on was just finding one of Chouji and Ino's missing sons. Shotaro had an independent streak a mile wide and was often running off by himself—one would think that his parents would stop getting so hysterical by now.

But no. And Chouji wasn't too prideful to pull the strings his position as a clan leader provided him to get an available ANBU or jounin on the boy's tail.

Naruto had looked in total disbelief at the page Shizune handed him that morning two days ago and said, "Oh come on Shizune-neesan, this is just stupid. The kid is probably hiding in a cupboard laughing at all the fuss he's making."

Shizune smiled sweetly, and Naruto had the distinct impression that she was enjoying herself. It seemed he was paying for ruining her kitchen.

"Now Naruto-san, don't say such unkind things. Isn't the heir to the Akimichi clan an important resource to all of Konoha? Not that it doesn't pain me to make you postpone your vacation but village resources just have to come first."

Naruto left plotting Shizune's painful death. No, Chouji's. If that ass just went and found his OWN kid like every other parent had to he wouldn't be in this mess!

Though to be fair, he and Ino were both out looking too.

But as a day came and went Naruto realized he was getting a little worried himself. Ino had told him that Shotaro went out into the woods just outside Konoha on a little hunting expedition—how far out had he gone? If he'd run into any bandits or wild animals he could be in real trouble. As kind and patient as his father, Shotaru had unfortunately also inherited his parent's and "uncle" Shikamaru's very average abilities. At age ten he was barely passing Academy exams, and wouldn't stand a chance if forced into serious combat.

It was the morning of the second day when Naruto found the boy. He had indeed run into trouble, a hungry wolf far out of its territory in search of game. To escape, Shotaru had had to climb his way high into the forest branches…and wait for rescue. One look at him convinced Naruto to skip the lecture he had planned: The boy had clearly learned his lesson already.

Returning him to his parents was quite a spectacle. Naruto wisely took Shotaro to Konoha Hospital for malnutrition treatment before contacting them, and the way Ino and Chouji came bursting into the ward screaming and panicked convinced him that they wouldn't have been much use had he brought him to them first. Still, Naruto felt a pang in his chest at the way the two poured attention onto their son. It was rare that he felt the loneliness that he had once been plagued with as a child, but there were some things that still brought those old feelings out in him. What if he'd had parents as loving and attentive as that?

_I have Sakura-chan and Iruka-sensei and Baa-chan and sometimes Sasuke. I'm as blessed as any man has ever been, so there's no point in getting greedy, is there?_

Lost in his thoughts, it took Naruto a moment to realize that Chouji was calling him.

"Yeah, man?"

"Listen, can I ask you a favor? Are you free tonight?"

Naruto blinked. "I…guess so. What's up?"

"Poker," said Chouji, grinning wanly. "I meet with Hinata and Neji and Shikamaru every week, but it looks like tonight I won't make it…can you fill in for me?"

Naruto thought about that for a minute. It was a perfect chance to hang out with Hinata. He could corner her after the game and ask her for advice about Sakura. With luck, he'd be able to figure out what to do to apologize properly by the next day so he'd be sleeping in his own bed again.

So he agreed.

* * *

When he made his way to the Hyuuga compound for the second time in a week, Naruto wondered if he wasn't taking advantage of his friendship with his former classmate just a bit. He'd have to buy her ramen as a thank-you after this. All problems could be solved with ramen. 

Having no idea of how to call the lady of the household—he'd simply stumbled on her last time—Naruto just knocked on the door to the compound and hoped someone would answer.

It was Neji who opened with a, "Chouji, where the hell have you—my, Chouji, you've lost some weight."

Naruto grinned. Neji was still as duty-bound and devoted to work as he'd ever been, but he'd lightened up through the years to the point where he could make (droll) jokes. He had never been obsessed with his looks, and so over the years nature's blessings had faded a bit. Light scars crossed much of his visible skin, and more defined muscles ruined the "beautifully slender" (Sakura's words) body he'd once had. Never bothering to protect himself from the sun meant Neji had fine lines around his eyes, and skin with a rougher and darker cast then it had once had.

The fact that he was still better looking then most of the male Konoha jounin _combined_ made him the object of some envy, of course.

"I'm the stand-in," said Naruto.

Neji rolled his eyes but stepped back to let his friend in. "Where _is_ Chouji, then?"

"Watching over his child," said Naruto with a grimace. "The poor kid went off into the woods by himself and almost got killed. It's just you, me, Hinata and Shikamaru."

"No, Shikamaru's a no-show too. He's not coming back from Sunagakure anytime soon."

Naruto looked at Neji in surprise. "Really? I thought he and Temari were getting a divorce. Why does he wanna be there?"

"The divorce is the problem," Neji said. "She's trying to get full custody of the kids—if she has her way he'll never see them again, so he's kind of on constant watch so she can't barricade the door against him."

Naruto felt a twinge of real sympathy. Shikamaru's courtship of Temari had been a disaster from the very beginning, based on passion and sex rather then any ability to get along. It wasn't long before the two had begun fighting about everything, and when children entered the picture the fighting had turned vicious.

The divorce had been put off for years but by now it was inevitable. Both were having affairs and their fights often involved property destruction and screaming that could be heard blocks away. Gaara finally pointed out that they were going to scar their children for life if they continued.

Shikamaru had asked Chouji once why the hell he couldn't fall for a normal woman. He'd tried. Every affair he'd had on Temari had been with the type of girl he'd always thought he'd like to marry: average, soft-spoken and feminine. But none of those women held his attention in the end. Without exception he'd always found himself wanting Temari again, wanting the fire she stoked in him, and he'd go back to her—unless she returned to him first from _her_ latest tryst.

Then they'd have amazing sex for a week before the fighting started again.

Naruto remembered thinking that Iruka and Shizune's passionless relationship was incomprehensible to him. He could better understand Shikamaru's feelings of addiction to his wife, but still it seemed that too much passion was as bad as too little. Shikamaru was romantically screwed; he was miserable with Temari but he was going to be just as unhappy when she was gone.

If he ever managed to get away from her.

Neji lead Naruto down a hallway, past many shut doorways until they reached the very end.

Neji knocked. "Hinata-sama? We have a surprise guest."

The door opened and Hinata's surprised face popped out. For just a second, Naruto saw the adorable little girl she had once been.

"Good to see you, but where's Chouji?" she said.

Neji explained while the three seated themselves around the small table right inside. It was easy to see from the large bed and nightstand across the room that this was a bedroom, probably Hinata's.

"So how long has this been going on?" Naruto asked as Hinata began to deal cards.

"Oh, awhile. I was about to have a mental breakdown from not seeing the sun for years, and Chouji said I needed a regular night out. So he set it up." Hinata grinned. "That man is the sweetest person born onto earth. Never met a happier family than him and Ino."

"Yeah…" Naruto leaned back into his seat. This was as good an opening as any. "But sometimes I think they're the only ones. It's like most marriages die out or turn nasty."

Neji threw out two cards. "That's not a marriage problem, it's a relationship problem. That's why I never bother with them. My duty to my family is the only connection I need."

Naruto knew his surprise showed on his face. "Isn't that a little empty?"

"What, not bothering to deal with burdensome kids and never-satisfied women? I don't think so."

Hinata threw Neji a glare. Naruto had the feeling that if she'd been anything other then a noblewoman, she would have thrown a chair instead. "Not all women have trouble being satisfied. No more then men, anyway."

"Yeah," said Naruto, even though he disagreed. "And besides, isn't getting married just something you're s'pposed to do when you grow up?"

"There are people in certain noble families that have a duty to bear heirs," Neji said as Hinata threw out some poker chips. "I, however, am a lowly member of my clan and have no such responsibility. This is good, because on a scale of one to ten my interest in failing to be patient with a crying wife is negative two."

Hinata scowled again. "Just for that, I call."

Naruto marveled at the amazing luck the men of Konoha had; the two richest and most handsome men in the whole village might as well have been dead fish.

Hinata won, of course, causing Neji to declare that both she and Naruto had to shut up for the next round so that he could concentrate properly.

Naruto decided to acquiesce for the moment. It would be easier to get advice out of Hinata if Neji wasn't brooding and sending out sarcastic jabs all evening.

The Hyuuga compound was designed to be separate from the rest of Konoha, and had always been well insulated from the outside. Naruto, Neji and Hinata counted poker chips for the rest of the evening without seeing the fifteen jounin who returned to Konoha with seven bodies in their arms, Tsunade's and Jiraiya's among them. They were blissfully unaware that Tsunade's limp body was being pulled into an embrace by a sobbing Shizune or that Jiraiya's fans and friends were surrounding his body, all stricken with grief. And though Naruto felt a pang in his heart when Sakura was told the news by a young medic, he did not know why he felt it.

The first clue that something was wrong came in the form of raised voices outside Hinata's door. Hinata said she was used to the occasional minor emergency rushing by her room before dying down but for some reason the voices only grew louder and more numerous as moments passed.

Hinata and Neji exchanged frowns. In a clan as controlled and rule-bound as the Hyuuga, such an emotional display from so many was exceedingly rare.

"…isn't true, is it?"

"Don't know, but…"

"I saw her, she—"

"…can't be…"

"…under attack?"

The snippets of conversation that cut through the babble outside and came through Hinata's door only confused the trio further. Abandoning their game (to Naruto's relief; his hand was terrible) Neji walked to the door and opened it.

"What on earth is going on out here?"

Hinata and Neji moved to flank him, peering out into the hallway which had been so calm only moments before. It was filled with Hyuuga now, Main and Branch members mingling in a shocking breach of etiquette. All heads turned at the sound of Neji's voice, and identical expressions of relief appeared on most of the faces. Here were people who could offer answers and orders.

"Oh, Hinata-sama!" a very young boy rushed forward and offered a deep bow. "It isn't true, is it? About the Godaime…"

Naruto felt his insides clench. The question hadn't been aimed at him but he spoke anyway: "What? Isn't what true?"

"That…that she…was taken from us."

Those same clenching insides turned to ice. Naruto reached out a hand to grip the doorframe beside him, squeezing until he made bruises on his fingers.

"What are you talking about?" asked Hinata sharply. "Taken?"

A woman, perhaps the boy's mother, came rushing forward and gripped her boy by the shoulders. "Forgive him, he's just a child—"

Naruto had no patience for her waffling. "What was he talking about, damn it?"

The woman, already bowing low and pushing the boy to do the same, froze. "They say…they say her body is being held at the Hokage tower…"

Naruto was off, pushing his way through the crowd and leaping into the air once he reached the door. Neji and Hinata were behind him but neither could keep up with Naruto's pace, fueled as it was by chakra and desperation.

_No, no, Baa-chan, you're not allowed to—_

_There's no one stronger then you, there never was—_

_It would take every jounin in Iwagakure to take you down, what do you think you're doing trying to fool me into thinking that you're…_

_It isn't possible!_

They had spent so much time arguing in the last few years. He had said such harsh things to her, called her names and insulted her decisions. He had never thought twice about doing so, because he'd never once thought that those words could be the last things he'd say to her. Tough old bitches like Tsunade lived forever.

Naruto reached the Hokage tower, and the crowd around it made his innards twist yet again.

_You shouldn't be here, none of you, you'll disrupt Baa-chan when she's working and she'll be so pissed off!_

He leapt right over them, not bothering to ask anyone's permission or answer anyone's questions. He knew he was welcome here.

It took eternity to run up the stairs, even skipping several at a time. He did not see the guards alongside the stairwell, nor even where he was going; familiarity alone propelled him to Tsunade's office where again a crowd barred his way.

Naruto got past the throng with few problems. As soon as they saw who he was everyone moved, parting as though they had been compelled.

The scene opened up like one from a nightmare. Tsunade had been laid out upon her desk, hair and clothes perfectly composed. The peaceful effect, however, was ruined by Sakura who had wrapped her own body around her shishou's and was sobbing brokenheartedly into her chest.

Next to the desk was Shizune, pale but composed, talking to two of the village elders in quiet tones about burial arrangements.

"Should her ashes be buried next to Jiraiya-sama? I think she might prefer to be near Dan—"

"Jiraiya-sama?" Naruto echoed, his voice shrill and loud. Shizune and the elders jerked in surprise at his voice. Sakura didn't even look up. "What about Jiraiya? Where is he?"

Shizune's face was so compassionate that Naruto knew the answer to his question immediately.

"Naruto-san…"

"NO!" Naruto roared so loudly that everyone around him took a step back. "Don't you Naruto-san me with that patronizing look! What the hell is wrong with you? You're not allowed to be so calm about this!"

She wasn't. Shizune's eyes were filling with tears as he spoke, and Naruto knew that she was only just holding on to her composure.

But somehow, he couldn't stop yelling.

"And you people!" he yelled, rounding on the crowds around the door. Neji and Hinata had only just joined it. "What are you doing staring? What is this, a goddamn circus? An event attraction? Fuck off!"

"Naruto."

Sakura's voice was so quiet that Naruto couldn't possibly have heard it over the sound of his own yelling…but somehow, he did.

"Please…not now…"

Naruto turned slowly around. Sakura had pulled her face from Tsunade's chest, and though she wasn't looking at him he could clearly see her face, twisted with misery and covered with tears.

Naruto stood frozen for a moment, a million different urges warring within him. But though his brain was moving rather slower then usual, the sight of Sakura's face brought it through to his heart that he was not the only one suffering.

Naruto crossed Tsunade's office and moved around behind his lover, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and pulling her trembling body to his own. With an audible sob she turned her face into his chest, gripping handfuls of his shirt for support and biting her lip until it almost drew blood.

And Naruto realized that he too was crying, though perhaps not as heavily. Tears and snot had been running down his face for some time now, obscuring his vision. Not looking at Tsunade, not being able to bear looking at her, Naruto closed his eyes, held Sakura, and cried, and cried, and cried.

* * *

A/N 

I am seriously bowled over by the reception the last chapter got. A huge and heartfelt thank you to every one of you who took the time to review and tell me what you thought, good or bad. I am, as ever, open to more comments and criticisms.

Chouji as a teacher: Seriously, can anyone think of any better person in the Naruto universe (except Iruka, obviously) to work with kids?

I know that Momoko got drunk too fast, but the image was funny to me, so I figured I'd try it out. Lemmie know if it worked or just came out silly.

Next: Tsunade's funeral, Naruto's first official meeting, and Sasuke's inner demons.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Naruto's not mine.

Warnings: A little language and a depressed Sasuke.

Moving On

Chapter Eight

By Michiru's Mirror

* * *

As expected for the leader of a great ninja village, Tsunade's funeral was lavish. Thousands of citizens of Hi no Kuni poured into the village to pay their respects and share Konoha's grief. 

Naruto was amazed by the variety of stories these citizens brought in, anecdotes he had never known about the former Hokage's years wandering Hi no Kuni. She may have struggled during those times, but you'd never know it to listen to the tales.

There was one man, so old Naruto was amazed he could stand, who outlined a tale of robbery.

"She had just lost at a casino, see? Lost big I guess, 'cause she had about four men on her tail, big guys calling her the most awful things as they ran her down.

"I'm just runnin' my stand, mindin' my business and then what looked like a gorgeous teenager comes flyin' by like some bird with a hunter on her tail. So I look at her and just think, 'Wow! What a babe!' And tell her she can hide behind my stand to get away.

"So she ducks down and the men run past. I'm hopin' she'll get the message for how I want her to pay me back by my wigglin' around a little, but she just gives me this dirty look and tells me she'll pay me with money if I insist on gettin' something for helping a poor lost girl.

"So I'm really ticked off about not getting' the reward I wanted. I tell her she'd better pay up then, all she's got, and she hands over this big wad of cash that I'm sure is enough to last me the month. She storms off mumblin' about how there's no charitable acts anymore, which I thought was a funny thing t'say given she doesn't look old enough to talk like that.

"So I try to add the bills to the safe I keep money in behind the stall, except there's nothing to add the bills to. That girl went and took the money from the safe and paid me with my own earnin's!"

The man sighed. "You shoulda seen me when I realized who'd ripped me off. It took decades before I could find the situation funny, let me tell you!"

That story was tame compared to some others Naruto heard. There were grateful mothers saying that though Tsunade had refused to use any chakra in her time away from Konoha, she had used her knowledge of the human body and the ills that could befall it to save their husbands and children. There were casino patrons laughing about how badly she'd lost on dozens of occasions. There were men she'd spent nights with who woke up to find her gone, and women who'd bought Tsunade drinks in bars when she was so broke she couldn't even afford basic food let alone her sake habit.

Tsunade was a woman who, even at her lowest point, had refused to live life any way other then exactly how she chose. Naruto stared at her picture set next to her ashes laid in the center of Konoha's main square. He had never felt so sad and yet so inspired at the same time.

He and Sakura had been up all night talking about what they had lost; Naruto was amazed to realize how much he had missed talking to her, and just how easy it was. It made his inability to verbalize his fears about becoming Hokage that much more mysterious. Was it because he was ashamed? Or because Sakura didn't know anything about politics?

No…if it was a matter of what Sakura did and didn't know, Naruto wouldn't have been able to talk about Jiraiya. She had no feelings for him that she could share with Naruto, but she smiled when Naruto spoke and made him comfortable talking about his old teacher. Naruto knew that Sakura didn't approve of much of the way Jiraiya had lived his life, but never once did she say anything negative while Naruto told stories of drunkenness, gambling and womanizing.

Jiraiya's funeral was considerably smaller then Tsunade's. He had been an intensely private man, and not a very kind one. Naruto had come to love him in a nephew-ly fashion, and he knew the feeling was mutual, but Jiraiya had never really let him get close. He knew virtually nothing about Jiraiya's history and thoughts save for what was in books. The last person who knew Jiraiya intimately was Konoha's Godaime, and with her gone Jiraiya was mourned by more fans than by friends.

But those fans poured in by the dozens to pay their respects. Naruto stood in front of them all, looking at the little urn containing Jiraiya's ashes and a picture that made him look so much more dignified and serious then the man Naruto had looked up to. Around him he could hear at least a dozen murmured conversations about Jiraiya's final book, but he didn't really pay attention. That wasn't why he was here.

Naruto did not think that his mentors regretted their deaths, and he did not mourn the way their lives had ended. They had lived long and full lives and did what they loved up until the end. Tsunade spent some time running from herself, but she had found her way back to life and went to her grave making sure that other ninja didn't have to suffer the way she had. She had revolutionized medical procedures, overhauled Konoha Hospital, created diplomatic relations with nations and hidden villages that had been thought beyond Konoha's reach, and gave her village Sakura and Shizune, two medics and leaders as talented as she herself had been.

Jiraiya's list of accomplishments was less dramatic, but no less important. Aside from bringing Tsunade back to Konoha and training the Yondaime Hokage, his Icha Icha series had bridged as many gaps as Tsunade's diplomacy in their own way.

It had taken Naruto a long time to understand just how important art was to the formation of friendships between both people and nations. Having no appreciation of the stuff himself, Naruto had always thought art to be nothing more then boring books and paintings he had to memorize to pass certain useless classes at the Academy. He hadn't known then that when two men from enemy nations with nothing in common realize that they are both fans of the same artist, it can make them realize they are not as different as they thought. And from that beginning can develop a relationship to change the world.

Whether the Icha Icha series was "highly ironic, perceptive, erotic art" as Kakashi had always said or "cheap smut" like Tsunade insisted was debated by literary critics all over the world. But it was something men far and wide read and enjoyed, and more than one fan in Iwagakure had become pen pals with fans in Konoha. From those letters came friendship, and from that friendship important relations might one day form. Though Jiraiya couldn't directly take credit for this the way Tsunade could her diplomatic record, he had done his part to bridge some wide international gaps.

And Jiraiya had had fun the whole way. He could have been Hokage but chose not to; the job didn't suit him. Jiraiya had done what he wanted to do instead, and Naruto had to admire that.

On top of all that, Naruto didn't think for a minute that the two of them would rather have let their bodies rot to the point where they were invalid instead of dying in battle. The idea of them needing diapers because they couldn't get to the bathroom and living off of liquids because they had no teeth to chew with was painful.

No, Naruto didn't mourn for their lives. He mourned for what was missing in his own. The last of his teachers had gone from his life, and without their guidance he was blundering in the dark.

_No_, Naruto reminded himself, _no you have your friends and loved ones…they'll walk with you._

True enough, but somehow it didn't fill the hole in his heart.

Naruto had done this before. Lee, Shino, Tenten, Sai, Kakashi…the world took them away, and Naruto was left with memories to comfort himself. He knew a day would come when he would wake up and the pain would be different, less all encompassing. In the meantime, the best he could do was share those memories with Sakura and Iruka-sensei and move on. It was almost routine…though somehow, it never became any easier.

So what to do next? He discussed it with Sakura the night after Jiraiya's funeral. They sat up in bed, sipping tea and just chatting as sleep eluded them once again.

"I don't understand how this could have happened," Sakura said. She was wrapped in Naruto's arms, her back to his chest. "They might have been old, but still, who was more powerful then Shishou and Jiraiya-sama?"

Naruto nodded against Sakura's hair. "Mm. I was thinking about that—the Akatsuki and Orochimaru are long gone, and the only other ninja I can think who have the power to do this are other Kage."

Sakura scowled. "Yeah, the fucking Tsuchikage, for example."

Naruto blinked in surprise—Sakura rarely swore unless she was really furious. "It was Iwa who called them out into the middle of nowhere."

"Yeah, it sure sounds like they're responsible. The Innkeeper of the place Baa-chan and Ero-sennin stayed at says he was threatened by someone wearing an Iwa hitai-ate, and the glimpses the other guests got of the fight says they saw those same hitai-ate. I wish we'd found some bodies to see for ourselves, but I have to hand it to Iwa's hunter-nin for cleaning up so damn quickly." Naruto sighed.

"What_ I_ don't get is why the hell Iwa is picking a fight with us now."

"They're our enemy, aren't they?" said Sakura crossly. "They probably saw their moment because our Hokage was growing old and took it. But I don't get why they think they're going to get away with it. They have to know we're going to kill them now."

There was rage in Sakura's voice, and Naruto felt the same stirring inside his chest. And yet there was sadness too as he saw the chance for relations between Iwa and Konoha sliding away. He thought again of the innocents in Kirigakure that Gaara had killed for an insult that he hadn't even bothered to confirm.

Naruto remembered what Tsunade had told him when he bemoaned Gaara's refusal to even speak to Kirigakure's Kage before attacking their village: She said that she would have spoken with him before attacking in the same situation.

And now it _was_ the same situation, and Naruto could see how Gaara had so easily been convinced to massacre innocent people. It was what all of Konoha wanted now. There wasn't a single citizen, from the elders to the youngest children in the Academy, who wasn't screaming for Iwa blood.

But…

"Sakura-chan, that might not be such a good idea."

Sakura stiffened in his arms, and abruptly she wrenched away from his body. Turning to scowl at him, she said, "What does that mean? We should just let them kill us?"

"No, of course not," said Naruto. Her reaction would have been his only a scant few years ago, and he understood completely that her anger was not really directed at him. "But what if Iwagakure wasn't responsible for this? What if it was, I don't know, Kirigakure wearing Iwa hitai-ate to set them up? What if it was a neutral group like Akatsuki?

"There's too much we don't know, Sakura-chan. Someone has retribution coming to them, but we have to know who it is as a nation, or we'll hurt a lot of innocent people and fuck up our own international relations with Iwa and its allies."

Sakura had frozen, the scowl on her face becoming ridiculous as it was mixed with shock. Naruto fought to keep his own face neutral, since this wasn't the time to laugh at Sakura's confusion. He would be having this conversation with other villagers, and many of them would have the same reaction.

"I didn't…I mean…I thought…"

Naruto nodded. "We're all pretty pissed off, but we gotta make sure we're pissed at the right people."

Sakura deflated before his eyes as his words penetrated her brain, and Naruto had to quickly lunge forward to keep her from toppling over. Her teacup went spilling over the side, hitting the floor with a clink.

Naruto understood. This was the mental equivalent of running forward as fast as you could go and suddenly slamming into a brick wall. Sakura was open minded, kind hearted and intelligent; she would be fine once she got over the initial shock, but the shock itself was unavoidable.

"I…hadn't even though of that," said Sakura finally, curling again into Naruto's embrace.

"I don't think a lot of people have," said Naruto grimly. "The new Hokage better have some real good ideas about how to break it to people or there'll be a revolt or something."

Sakura looked up at Naruto curiously. "The new Hokage? Naruto, that'll probably be you."

She meant it as a bolstering sort of statement. He was finally achieving his lifelong dream after long years of preparation and long decades of dreaming. The last thing she expected was for him to go so stiff that she almost got a crick in her neck leaning up against him and so silent that she could hear crickets chirping outside of the window.

Naruto pushed her away then, and got up off the bed. "I'll clean up this tea," he said, heading for the kitchen with his head bowed.

Sakura was left on the bed, stunned for the second time in three minutes. What on earth was going on? Something was obviously bothering Naruto.

Well of course something was bothering him: Tsunade and Jiraiya had just died. But somehow she got the feeling that something else was going on.

He had reacted so strongly when she said he would be Hokage. But that couldn't be the problem, could it? Naruto had wanted the job since before he entered the Ninja Academy and had trained for decades to get it.

And yet…

He had bragged nonstop about how he was going to be Hokage since Sakura had met him, only to clam up once he became Tsunade's apprentice. Sakura thought that having achieved his goal Naruto no longer felt the need to boast, but could there be another reason?

And when she thought about it, that terrible night less then a week ago had started after he came home from work. Was it that work that put him in such a terrible, silent mood? Sakura had assumed that something about _her_ had turned him off, but what if that wasn't the case?

Naruto reentered the room, and Sakura was careful not to say the word "Hokage" again. The response was noticeable: Naruto began to relax and talk again. They went back to swapping stories about their mentors, trading tears and laughs.

But Sakura did not forget her suspicions.

* * *

Only when the sun rose did the two realize they had been awake all night; they had to go to work after two days with very little sleep. 

Sakura stood from the bed with a deep groan and a popping of limbs. "We are no longer teenagers, Naruto."

"Shut up," Naruto said, and then ducked to avoid her playful swing. It was a happy start to the day, and it bolstered them through what followed.

Neither Naruto nor Sakura felt ready to face company yet, and when you added that to their exhaustion both hoped they could go home early. Naruto was still officially on vacation, and though he didn't fool himself into thinking that there wouldn't be work for him after the fiasco that had just happened, he prayed to whatever gods might be listening that it would be work that could be put off until after a day of rest.

Besides, he wanted to check on Sasuke. The Uchiha had been conspicuously absent from both funerals, and no one Naruto spoke to seemed to know where he was. Recent reports did, however, say that they'd seen him wandering like a lost soul all over Konoha. Naruto had never heard of such behavior in his friend, and was hoping to find out himself just what was going on.

No such luck. A village like Konoha couldn't be left without a leader for long, and so Naruto was not surprised to be cornered by a pair of village Elders near Konoha Hospital where he was about to drop Sakura off. He could not keep himself from stiffening and clenching his fists, and he felt his heart begin beating much faster then before.

As he bowed his head to keep from showing the elders the strain on his face, he did not see Sakura turn to him with a contemplative look. Indeed, he barely felt the comforting hand she put on his arm.

"If you will please come with us, Uzumaki-san," said one of the Elders. He was tall and completely bald.

Naruto hesitated but nodded after a moment. It wasn't as though he had a choice.

But to his surprise Sakura was suddenly in front of him, bowing low to the elders. "May I accompany you, Honored Elders?"

Both Elders looked slightly scandalized. "What makes you think that this is your business, Medic?"

"Nothing at all, and I apologize for my inexcusable rudeness," said Sakura. "But if the meeting is about what I think it is, I feel my presence may be beneficiary."

The two Elders exchanged glances before looking at Naruto. "It is your choice, Uzumaki-san. The whole village will know soon anyway, so whether you want this one to know first is up to you."

Naruto hesitated, as conflicted as he'd ever been. He didn't want Sakura to see his shame, and yet he wanted her by his side more then anything, nervous and confused as he was.

His hiding had caused such a huge fight between them, and if nothing else, Naruto didn't want to start another one. He didn't know if he could take an angry Sakura on top of what he knew was coming.

So he nodded, and fell in to step beside Sakura. They walked the familiar roads of Konoha in complete silence, Naruto's head hung low.

What could he say? Not only was there no one else with the training and power he had to offer, it seemed that Konoha was on the brink of war with somebody powerful enough to kill two sannin at once. Naruto might have begun to see the world in a different way from his adolescent view, but his desire to protect his loved ones had not lessened one jot. He knew what would happen if there wasn't a strong leader to organize and protect them, and he would never, _could _never, let that happen.

And indeed, it wasn't the upcoming battle that he dreaded. It was exactly this type of situation he had dreamed of when he decided to become Hokage in his childhood. Konoha on the brink of disaster, relying on UZUMAKI NARUTO (capital letters mandatory) to save them. Of course at that time he hadn't understood the responsibility that would go with the glory and prestige, but even that weight would be worth it to see his loved ones safe.

No, it was what would come after the war that Naruto was worried about. He would have to assign assassinations and watch people get slaughtered and send Sakura and Sasuke out into danger without being able to protect them…it made him ill just thinking about it. Had he spent so much time making himself strong so that he could protect those precious to him only to wind up sitting behind a desk and watching them suffer and die?

They were in the conference room of the Konoha elders before he knew it. A dozen determined old faces stared at him, pinning Naruto in place as securely as if they'd sewn him to the wall.

He was going to puke, he knew it.

"I am sure you know why you're here, Uzumaki-san," said the Elder furthest from him, the First Elder, regal and poised in immaculate blue robes. "The time has come to choose a new Hokage, and not one of us can think of a more suitable candidate then you."

They hadn't even offered him a seat.

"I…" Naruto said. "I…"

Sakura was next to him then. Physical contact was forbidden by the formality of the situation, but she was still so close that he could feel her warmth through the thin black material of his shirt. It was all she could offer him now, but Naruto knew she had come with him specifically for this. She somehow knew about his anxiety.

He was humiliated, yet bolstered at the same time.

"Can I…" Naruto swallowed. "Can I think about it?"

Murmuring immediately broke out and diffused around the room. Hadn't Naruto wanted this his whole life? Hadn't he been training for it for three years? Now, when the moment was upon him, what was making him hesitate?

Perhaps it was guilt, thought some. To take the job a loved one had held until death was no small thing.

The First Elder spoke again, his tone gentle. "Normally we would be glad to give you time. Unfortunately, right now we find ourselves with none to give."

"Because we have to start researching who killed Baa—I mean, the Godaime Hokage-sama?"

"No," said the First Elder, "Because the Tsuchikage is coming this way. He'll be here within hours."

* * *

Sasuke didn't know where he was. He was fairly certain that he was still in Konoha, because the buildings seemed vaguely familiar and he kept passing by people wearing hitai-ate with the Konoha leaf mark emblazoned on them. 

In fact, Sasuke was walking down Kuina Dori St., a street he had gone to every week since he returned to Konoha to see a weapon smith that lived there. His mind, however, was so far away from reality that he did not recognize it. He had been walking for days now without a break for food or rest, just traversing the same streets again and again. His feet were covered with ruptured blisters, but he did not feel them. He had soiled himself several times without noticing. All he could see were his thoughts and all he could feel was his shame.

The weapon smith he frequented recognized him, however. As Sasuke was too far away for the burly man to see his condition or smell him, he waved cheerfully. The Uchiha heir was an excellent customer, paying top prices for enough weaponry to outfit a small army. The weapon smith enjoyed the opportunity to make such fine weapons—many people settled for cheap, slipshod work—and of course he enjoyed receiving the high fee he was paid.

"Uchiha-sama!" he called out, setting down the kunai he had been beating into shape. Oddly, though Sasuke wasn't too far away from him, it seemed he hadn't heard.

Frowning, the weapon smith tried again. "UCHIHA-SAMA!"

Sasuke looked up, and the weapon smith was taken aback. There was stubble all along Sasuke's face, his eyes were bloodshot and so swollen they looked bulgy, and he seemed to have lost an alarming amount of weight.

"Uchiha-sama?" asked the weapon smith. Sasuke was close to him now, and he nearly gagged at the smell. "Are you…do you need assistance?"

Sasuke stopped walking and started at him, as though trying to decide who he was.

The weapon smith saw Sasuke's feet and recoiled. He was not a man who was easily frightened; in his line of work he'd suffered burns, bruises, broken arms and numerous other unpleasant injuries. But to his eyes the weeping, bleeding, infected appendages looked to be almost permanently ruined. If Sasuke didn't get off his feet he might never be able to walk again.

"Uchiha-sama, come inside! I'll get my wife to treat those for you."

Still Sasuke stood and stared at him, making the weapon smith very nervous. Those black eyes seemed to be staring at something he could not see.

Then Sasuke said, "Sons are more valuable then daughters," and walked away, leaving the weapon smith to gape after him. The man shivered, deeply disquieted by what he had seen.

Sasuke did not know that, because he didn't look back. He was in fact not even aware that he had just spoken to anyone.

Sasuke's mind was in a place so deep inside of himself that later he was unable to remember a thing from those days he'd spent wandering. All he remembered was arriving at a familiar pier, and realizing that he had decided to jump.

He remembered this pier and the lake it lead into. Here he had struggled for hours to perfect his fire techniques in the vain hope that his father would deign too look at him and acknowledge him as a son. Here he had sworn to kill his brother and restore the glory of the Uchiha clan, no matter how low he had to fall.

Well, he had fallen…and yet somehow his promise had not been kept. No, it was he who had not kept his promise. He had failed his clan and his father. He was nothing, nobody, a loser unworthy of the great Uchiha name.

_But how great was it really? How many people seemed unhappy when the Uchiha were wiped from the earth? What kind of family breeds men like Itachi…and you?_

Sasuke silenced those doubts as he had silenced them his whole life, banishing them to the dark place inside of his head that he put things he did not want to acknowledge.

It seemed somehow terribly unfair that it was a bright and sunny day. Why wasn't there a storm? Wind to blow Sasuke's clothes and hair dramatically and show his mood to the world? Frothy, choppy water to receive his weary body when it fell?

He supposed it didn't really matter. But if he was going to die this way he wished it could be a more dramatic exit, one befitting an Uchiha.

Sasuke raised his arms wide as if to embrace the whole lake, this lake where he grew up, where his dreams were crushed and his impossible ambitions made.

Sasuke felt all the pressures he had let drive his life build inside his mind. They formed a festering knot, an infectious wound in his soul that had eaten away at his humanity for almost twenty years. He studied that wound for a single moment, seeing how red and polluted it had become.

Then, he let himself fall forwards into the cool water before him with a great splash that shocked his already overtaxed mind into blacking out.

As Sasuke slid into that blackness, he hoped that it would comfort him and end the pain he'd felt every day of his life. But somehow, he didn't think that he'd be that lucky.

* * *

Sakura was again bowing low, her head almost to her knees. "Please, Honored Elders, may I speak?" 

There was some minor grumbling from the assembled group, but the First Elder only nodded and said, "You may."

Sakura's tone was humble, but did not lack for confidence. "If I'm not mistaken, Uzumaki-san can only become Hokage officially after the proper rites and ceremonies have been completed."

"That's correct," the First Elder said, and Naruto wondered what she was getting at.

"So," said Sakura, "Uzumaki-san will deal with the Tsuchikage when he comes, but he won't be Hokage yet, will he?"

"Yes, that's right," said the First Elder. He was beginning to look at Sakura curiously, wondering what she was trying to say, but Naruto understood now.

He would lead this battle, but only later would the new Hokage be officially appointed. Perhaps he had a small bit of leeway before the worst part of the job was thrust upon him.

Naruto had to fight to keep himself from collapsing with relief. There was no time for that and he knew it; there was a threat that had to be dealt with now

So Naruto contented himself with a deep breath and a slight shaking of his knees which Sakura deftly covered up for him by bowing ostentatiously and stepping back.

"Okay," said Naruto when she was behind him again. "So what kind of force are we talking about?"

The Second Elder, an old woman with very thin hair and large spectacles, spoke. "That's what's confusing us. It's not a 'force,' it's the Tsuchikage and one old man about my age."

Naruto frowned. "…And?"

"And that's it," the First Elder said. "Only those two, walking up to us in broad daylight with no backup we can see. We've had jounin out since the Tsuchikage was spotted around dawn trying to find some trace of a retinue, but there appears to be nobody."

"We thought that perhaps his soldiers were waiting to teleport in, but very few shinobi can travel long distances that way, so even if he is bringing backup it can't be a very large force." said the Second Elder. Gray heads nodded like bobble-headed dolls as she spoke.

Sakura did not speak. She had no standing in this council, nor any place in this meeting. Her very presence was a breach of etiquette, and she had already provoked too much ire in the Elders by speaking out of turn once.

Naruto knew he wasn't supposed to ask for her opinion. She was too lowly, and though many leaders listened to the opinions of their friends and lovers under cover of darkness when no one could hear, asking openly was taboo. Why, that would suggest favoritism, make the leader look weak, and give power to an unelected official!

So naturally Naruto turned around and said, "What do you think, Sakura-chan?"

The shocked and irritated mutterings from the Elders now at his back made him roll his eyes. Rule-bound conservative idiots. This was what most rulers did anyway! If he had to wait for night time to find out Sakura's opinion or do it now when it might actually be useful to him, he didn't see why he shouldn't ask now. Everyone knew she had the biggest influence on his decisions aside from Iruka-sensei, so why hide it?

He remembered Hinata telling him that she stopped calling Neji "nii-san" because it made a bad impression on people she had to impress for her own and other's livelihoods, and how sad it made him to hear that. He could respect what Hinata was doing in order to save lives, but he could never do the same. He knew that now.

Sakura seemed annoyed with him too, and Naruto knew what she was thinking.

_He's making himself look ridiculous! Doesn't he know there's a certain way a Hokage has to act?_

But slowly that look left her face to be replaced by an understanding one. She knew how hard he had been working under Tsunade, and how much he had learned from her. If he was asking her opinion now it was because it was important to him, not because he'd forgotten the rules.

"I think…" Sakura hesitated a moment, collecting her thoughts. Naruto waited patiently. "I think that there is a possibility that this is a trap, so I'd put guardsmen on alert all around Konoha, and not just at the main gates."

Naruto nodded.

"But…if this is really what it seems to be, if the Tsuchikage is really coming up to us in broad daylight in peace, I think you should listen to what he has to say before you decide to do anything." Sakura's smile turned rueful. "Not everyone is going to like that idea, though, so if you choose to meet with him, I'd suggest assembling some powerful jounin that you trust to guard yourself and the Tsuchikage while you talk. That will protect you against some of the more…hotheaded…ninja here."

Naruto grinned at her, knowing she was remembering her own outburst the evening before.

Naruto turned back to the Elders. "I think that sounds like an excellent plan. Any objections?"

More grumbling. The idea was a good one, and so the Elders had no problems with it; rather, they didn't like the idea of their Hokage grabbing onto the opinion of an uninvited, unelected outsider so quickly.

Especially when it was an outsider he was sleeping with.

Naruto knew expressions like "pussy-whipped" and "wrapped around her finger" were going to be circulating the village by nightfall. It was quite a joke that all Sakura had done was make a plan based on the words _he_ had given _her_ the night before. She was giving him an idea, yes, but she was also parroting back his speech about talking to your enemy and being sure you knew who to fight.

The people who would whisper gossip didn't know any of that. All they would know was what they heard about this meeting, and for them, that would be enough to pass judgment. Naruto knew from his time in Tsunade's office that people were going to talk nonsense whatever the circumstances were, which in his mind was yet another reason not let old-fashioned rules fuck things up.

"Right then," said Naruto after several minutes of grumbling didn't turn into any actual objections. "I'll meet the Tsuchikage just outside of Konoha's gates so he can't get directly inside. I'm off to make preparations—just send a messenger bird for me if you have any suggestions. Sakura-chan, come with me."

And with that, Naruto turned on his heel and strode out the door, Sakura right behind him.

Naruto's mind was reeling with all of the memories suddenly clamoring for his attention. He remembered Tsunade, drinking sake on the job and telling off her teachers for not listening to her ideas about adding medics to each three man cell. He thought of Jiraiya telling the Elders he didn't want the Hokage job because he had porn to write, damn it!

Naruto remembered this feeling. This was good. This was the part where he showed everyone that Uzumaki Naruto did everything better then everyone else, because he did it his own way.

This was not joy or happiness, because his grief was still too fresh and his responsibility too great for feelings like that. But now, in this moment, feelings of determination and pride and clarity were coming back to him. He was alive again for the first time in months, and it was _so_ good.

"Sakura-chan, I'm gonna need your help," he said. She nodded, and he went on. "For my guards, I want all that's left of our old crowd."

Again he was setting himself up to be accused of playing favorites, but Sakura understood the value in comrades you could trust. There was no one they trusted more to keep Naruto safe from attackers. Though they might disagree with his decision to talk to the Tsuchikage, they wouldn't try to physically hurt him over it.

"I'll head over to the Hyuuga manor," Sakura said. Immediately, she leapt off to tell them that the village leader (though not the Hokage, yet) was calling them to duty. Naruto himself made for the Akimichi compound, bounding over buildings with energy he hadn't had in too long. He wouldn't leave a duty like this to messenger birds, and he knew he'd have some explaining to do anyway.

It was time to get to work.

* * *

A/NThere's definitely some liberty with Naruto's character here when he explains things to Sakura; he's usually much more hotheaded. I'm trying to move with the character we all know and love, who has become more mature with all he's learned. Did I do it or not? Lemmie know either way. 

I've gotten a lot of different comments on the romance on this fic, wondering why I haven't written its beginnings, or why there isn't more fluff, or why Naruto and Sakura are as "old" as they are (though 35 is hardly old!). I appreciate these comments, like the comments I get, and I thought I'd explain a little bit:A lot of people like to write love stories where the audience watches a couple go through trials to become a couple. I enjoy that kind of romance too, but I've known too many couples to be anything but realistic: most couples don't work out. There's a 50percent+ divorce rate in America, and a lot of the remaining couples grow apart and just tolerate each other. Couples who go a long time and still like each other are rare, and in my mind the greatest romance isn't one just budding, but instead one that has withstood time and is still strong. The reason I've written Naruto and Sakura as being together for a long time instead of going over how they got together isn't because I'm avoiding writing romance. That Naruto and Sakura have withstood the test of time and can not only tolerate but really love each other still is, to me, the most romantic idea of all.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Naruto's not mine.

Warnings: Sasuke's bit here is as depressing as this story gets; things lighten up from here.

Moving On

Chapter Nine

By Michiru's Mirror

* * *

School. However far Naruto went in life, whatever accomplishments he made, whatever job title he held, it didn't seem to matter. Somehow he always wound up back in a school desk, staring at Iruka-sensei who was glowering at him and snapping, "Naruto, pay attention!"

_Iruka_ didn't care that Naruto was now officially in charge of Konoha, no. As far as he was concerned Naruto would always be his pain in the ass student.

From next to where Naruto was crammed uncomfortably into his desk (he had never imagined a situation like this when wishing to be tall as a child), Sakura leaned over and smacked him on the head. "This is _important_."

"I know that!"

He did, too. If he was going to go out and talk with the Tsuchikage soon, he had to know more about Iwagakure then he already did. But he was not a man suited to sitting behind old wooden desks when there was action to be had. Twenty minutes of listening to Iruka lecture about Iwagakure's political history was enough to have him bouncing around in his seat.

Worse yet for Naruto's ability to concentrate was Sasuke's abrupt disappearance, which made absolutely no sense. He had no mission, he wasn't at home, he wasn't training…it was as though he'd fallen into a hole and vanished. Naruto was rapidly going from worried to alarmed, and he had every intention of organizing a search party as soon as this whole mess was over.

At this point he'd already forgotten most of what he'd been told by Iruka anyway.

Hopefully his classmates—re: his retinue—were fairing better.

Though she hadn't been able to find Sasuke, Sakura had done a brilliant job of getting everyone from the Konoha Eleven that she could to back Naruto up. Naruto himself was quite touched by how many of them had turned out.

Team Eight was regretfully absent save for Kurenai. Shino was, of course, deceased and Kiba's whereabouts were unknown like Sasuke's. As this was normal for Kiba Naruto wasn't too worried.

Meanwhile, Neji had showed up with Hanabi in tow and informed Naruto that though he knew how important this meeting was to Konoha, Hinata was too important to the Hyuuga to put herself in danger. Thus, Hanabi would stand in her stead. Neji himself was all that remained of Team Gai, save for Gai himself who was away on a mission and could not make it back in time.

Perhaps the universe's idea of irony was making all of Team Ten available (save for their long lost instructor) when the other teams Naruto had grown up with were so full of holes. Not only had Chouji and Ino made it, so had Shikamaru. Back from Sunagakure with Temari and all five of their children, the couple had announced that they were once again going to try and patch up their marriage. Chouji gave it a week before Shikamaru was sleeping on his couch again, but for the moment the two were sitting next to each other in the back row of the classroom, looking bored.

Naruto knew that their being present was a show of support. Chouji was a teacher and already knew all of this; Shikamaru knew everything; and Temari was a Sunagakure diplomat, well versed in foreign cultures and history.

A thwack sounded throughout the room. Naruto almost jumped out of his seat; Iruka had brought his pointer down on the desk right in front of him.

"Are you trying to make yourself look stupid?" Iruka snapped. "Because that's what's going to happen if you walk out there without even knowing the Tsuchikage's name."

"I know the Tsuchikage's name! Ganbyoki Tsubaki—"

"Ganseki Tsuyoshi!" Sakura hissed into his ear.

"—Ganseki Tsuyoshi!"

Iruka turned bright red. Everyone knew what was coming; Naruto shrank down in his seat and most of the Konoha Eleven scooted as far away from him as possible.

It was Chouji who bravely sat up in his seat and said, "Ah, Iruka-sensei, maybe we should just skip to information directly related to the Tsuchikage. That would be less to remember and more…direct."

Iruka took a moment to visibly regain control of himself. Then he nodded. "Given our time restraints, that's an excellent suggestion. Now _you_—" He swiveled his pointer right into Naruto's face. Naruto squeaked and moved back. "Pay attention or I swear I'll put you in detention so you can't meet the Tsuchikage and embarrass Konoha!"

"You can't put me in detention!" Naruto said, straightening up. "I outrank you!"

Iruka said nothing, but moved slowly to put his enraged face eyelevel to Naruto's.

"…Yes, sensei," Naruto squeaked again.

Iruka straightened up. "Right. Now that we've got _that_ settled.

"If you remember nothing else about Iwagakure, remember that it's spent generations stuck in a rut. It's dominated many chuunin exams with extremely strong ninja and has produced some of the most powerful jounin in history, but it's very weak on strategists and leaders.

"This goes back in history to the days of the great ninja wars, where everyone was relying on brute strength and the "strongest" country was the one with the biggest men versed in the most powerful jutsu. Strategists and thinkers were cowards afraid of a good, direct fight."

Shikamaru snorted audibly.

"Most ninja villages have revised their opinion since then and learned to put value on their intelligent ninja as well as their more powerful ones."

Naruto thought of Kakashi fighting Zabuza and Shikamaru fighting Hidan, and could see the worth of doing this.

"But Iwagakure is…traditional. They value their hulking neckless wonders over their less powerful geniuses, and a lot of talent is squashed before it can even form.

"They've been reaping the results in the last few generations. Iwa simply began falling behind other ninja villages in everything from job offers (as their success rates were lower then many others) to new talent (since they had the highest mortality rate of any village). In international conferences they were a joke.

Temari spoke up from the back. "I remember once attending one where the former Tsuchikage got up to make a speech and everyone was talking over him. Not a single person in the room had any interest in what he had to say—everyone knew he was too stupid to merit listening to."

Iruka nodded at her before turning again to Naruto. "With me so far?"

Naruto's turn to nod. With dumb Iwagakure jokes being as popular as dumb blonde jokes around Konoha, he had guessed at some of this. Still, he was surprised by just how badly Iwagakure had screwed itself by holding onto its traditional thinking. What the hell was the point of holding onto tradition if all of your _living_ citizens were suffering?

"So that's where Ganseki Tsuyoshi came in. He was strong and powerful enough to appease the traditionalists, but he was also an unusually bright young man who was very reform minded. There were a lot of Iwa citizens who liked that, mostly younger people who were questioning the way previous generations had run things, though there were a few older people who wanted a better future for their children.

"Personally I think Ganseki would have been a great choice, if he'd been given another decade to mature. At eighteen years old he lacked the experience necessary to really lead a village."

Eighteen? Naruto balked. True, Gaara had made Kazekage at fifteen, but he was hardly a typical case: He was very experienced in leadership and combat, extremely powerful, and totally devoid of any childishness. Your average shinobi, or even an above-average one, couldn't hope to lead more then a three-man cell at that age.

As soon as Naruto thought that, he began to feel old. Hadn't he found the idea of a teenage Hokage perfectly normal when he was twelve? Then he turned twenty, and the idea of a Hokage that young become ridiculous. When he hit his forties he was going to start scoffing at Kage in their thirties.

But that thought lead to Tsunade and thoughts of her led naturally to Jiraiya. The pain that flooded his heart in response was too much to bear, so he forced himself back to the present, where Iruka had begun talking again.

"—did a marvelous job considering the forces against him, and he would have been a good leader under normal circumstances. But the situation wasn't normal, and Iwagakure didn't need a good leader, it needed an exceptional one. Ganseki just didn't have the experience necessary to deal with what happened next.

"He seemed to think that just because people understood change was necessary meant that it was going to be easy. He tried to institute broad, sweeping reforms in everything from education to government in his first year, and was shot down so quickly and completely that it amazed even the people who'd been expecting it."

Naruto frowned. "But they'd wanted reform."

"Some of them. But even the people who knew reform was _needed_ didn't necessarily _want_ it."

"But—but—then why did they elect him in the first place? Either they wanted to change or they didn't!"

Sakura's hand was on his arm then, and he turned to her. "Naruto, it's not easy to overhaul your life overnight. Iwagakure knew it needed change, but it had lived for generations one way, and it was comfortable with that way of life. Imagine being told that ramen was suddenly outlawed because it was bad for your health. You know it's bad for your health, but you don't care, do you? You love it because it's ramen."

Naruto thought about that. When she put it that way it seemed similar to how he'd felt after finding out just how terrible being Hokage was. When the reality of the job he'd coveted since childhood had been shown to him, it was years before he could accept that it was the wrong job for him. He'd been unable to let go of the fantasy he'd had and the inspiration it had given him. Putting that fantasy aside to face reality had been so frightening that he'd hurt Sakura by shutting her out and himself by continuing in his apprenticeship, even though it made him miserable, rather than face the truth.

With a great rush of affection for her, Naruto thought of how Sakura had put up with the disaster he'd made of his life. She hadn't always been graceful about it, but she had never left him and made it clear that she wanted to help. Smiling over at her, Naruto grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

From behind them Temari began making ostentatious puking noises.

"Temari-san PAY ATTENTION!" Iruka roared. She jumped in her seat, eyes wide, before sinking down.

"Right," said Iruka. "As I was saying.

"So, Ganseki was trying to reform his village and being blocked at every turn. For example, when he tried to change the school system to include more tactical study there was a huge outcry from parents and teachers. They began accusing him of lacking proper respect for their traditional values and trying to undermine Iwagakure morals.

"Worse yet were the groups who hadn't wanted change in the first place; that is, the people who thought that Iwa was already perfect and bringing in some young upstart who wanted to change things was not only foolish but dangerous to their way of life. As things in Iwa have gotten worse, those groups have gotten louder and more powerful."

"And that's where Iwa is now," said Chouji from the front row.

"Right," said Iruka, looking sad. "It's been eleven years since Ganseki took power, and for all his efforts things have been moving steadily backwards. For the last three years the traditionalists have become so powerful that we don't know what's been going on—they've cut the village off almost completely to avoid 'contamination' from other ninja villages' cultures and ideas. In fact, we didn't even know Ganseki was still in charge until he wrote to the Godaime."

There was a moment of silence at the word "Godaime." Sakura's hand moved under the table to squeeze Naruto's in support.

"Well," said Ino in an obvious attempt to break the tension. "Given that he's walking this way, I think we can safely say he's still alive if nothing else."

"Yeah, and his being here ends the discussion totally." The sound of Genma's voice made half the classroom jump. "He's going to be at the gate in about half an hour."

If Neji and Sasuke were a blessing to the men of Konoha, Genma was their curse. In his mid-fifties he was still quite handsome, and women loved him as much as they ever had. His sly, come hither grin was almost always in place.

Now, though, even he saw the seriousness of the situation; he chewed nervously on his ever-present senbon, and his eyes were crinkled with worry rather then mirth.

Murmuring immediately broke out among the Konoha Eleven, and no one had to directly say that they were angry and afraid for the emotions to be clearly conveyed.

Naruto could easily see how control over a situation like this could be lost. People were frightened and soon with no leadership that fright would turn to panic. From there, panic could easily become violence.

He stood. "All right everyone!" He said, louder then he really needed to, to make sure he had his friends' attention.

"Genma-san, I want you to keep tracking the Tsuchikage. Obviously, if he speeds up or slows down or does anything unusual, tell me."

"You got it." Genma was gone in a flash, the faint rustling of his clothes the only sign that he had moved rather than simply disappeared.

Naruto turned back to the desks, behind which sat his now-silent friends. "The rest of you, get in position. I have to talk to Sakura-chan and then I'll join you."

The result was immediate. As an ANBU captain Naruto was used to having his orders obeyed, but it was still strange to see his friends do so. He supposed this was another reason one shouldn't usually give one's loved ones close positions beneath oneself—it just felt wrong to order around those you saw as your equals. He wanted them beside him for now on his first big assignment, but he knew he wouldn't be using them as his direct subordinates in the future if he could help it.

When the room was empty save for himself and Sakura, she walked up to him and asked, "What's up?"

He sighed. She wasn't going to like this. "I want you to stay at Konoha Hospital while I talk with the Tsuchikage."

Sakura's eyes bugged out. "_What_?"

Naruto cursed his blunt nature. He knew how sensitive Sakura was about feeling useless; most likely she'd take this order as a sign that he lacked confidence in her ability to handle things on the battle front.

Though hopefully there would be no battle.

"Let me explain!" he said quickly. He couldn't let this become a fight. He was sick with grief and worry and a complete lack of self-confidence. If he had another fight with Sakura and they parted with hostile feelings he might lose his cool completely. He had found a sense of purpose when taking this mission from the elders; he couldn't lose it because of a petty row with his girlfriend.

"Sakura-chan, we have no idea what's going on here. We hope that Ganseki wants peace, but we don't know that.

"My best friends are backing me up, my most precious people. If something happens to them they'll need the best help they can get patching themselves up, and you're the best, right?"

"…Well, yeah," said Sakura grudgingly.

Naruto shrugged. "Well that's that, then. If anyone gets hurt they'll need you to patch them up and if you get hurt you can't do it."

Naruto had hoped to put her mind at ease with those words, but he had never dreamed he'd get a smile in response to them.

"Tsunade-shishou told me the same thing when she first began training me," said Sakura softly.

Naruto felt the familiar tug on his heart at the sound of Tsunade's name, but he also realized that he was smiling back.

"She was a cool old hag," he said, and Sakura laughed.

"Jiraiya-sama had his own charm too," she said. Then: "Well, sort of."

As Naruto waved Sakura off, he regretted that he'd had to lie to her. It was true enough that he wanted her to heal anyone who got injured. However the real reason he couldn't have her along was that she'd make a lousy subordinate.

She wouldn't mean to be disrespectful to him, just like he hadn't meant to be disrespectful to Tsunade by calling her "baa-chan" in public. Rather, it was just an expression of their relationship: they were equals. They had started out working that way and after over twenty years she couldn't just stop seeing him that way.

If he said something stupid (which was entirely possible) she might well bop him on the head or chew him out before stopping to think, and that would undermine all his credibility as a leader. It was unlikely—Sakura was much less impulsive then he, and if he was being honest with himself, much smarter in a lot of ways—but calling him on doing dumb things was so natural to her that it was a risk he couldn't take.

It was just one more reason not to become Hokage, Naruto thought as he made his way to the gate. He thought of never again being able to treat his precious people as equals, of having to order them around and reprimand Sakura if she was disrespectful in public, and shuddered.

The gate came into view, and Naruto was at last able to admit the last reason he had for wanting Sakura to stay behind: he couldn't stomach the thought of her getting hurt. She was a first class medic, but—and he would never say this to her face—he really did have low confidence in her fighting ability. One of the happiest days of his life had been the day that Sakura told him she was going to be stationed permanently at the Hospital, which meant that it would be a rarity for her to go out on missions. Up until then she had regularly been posted on missions without him, and he'd never been able to sleep until she returned safely.

He couldn't afford that kind of distraction now. The very idea of her injured was enough to make him physically ill, and as Hok—village leader his life would be placed before hers. It would be his aid, not hers, that the Konoha Eleven would have to go to.

Naruto reached the gates of Konoha, simple but majestic wooden barriers that had served the village well. Everyone was in position.

Neji and Hanabi were posted in nearby trees where they and their byakugan would let them see danger (hopefully) before it came. Kurenai was hidden away, ready to cast her genjutsu should a large-scale diversion become necessary.

Team Ten and Temari were at the gate, ready to flank Naruto and look intimidating. They were the primary gate defense, ready to blast back any would-be intruder.

Naruto took his position in front of them and took a deep breath. He was ready.

* * *

_Ah…Sasuke_ knew _the dark wouldn't be comforting. _

_He was floating in blackness, but rather than the feeling of oblivion he had been craving, it was one of suffocation. The darkness penetrated his lungs and brain, his heart and his very soul, squeezing and crushing him until he could feel nothing but pain and pain and pain…_

_Yet there was nowhere to go, no place to escape to. There was nothing anywhere he looked, not so much as a patch of gray to interrupt the dark that compressed him into a flat sheet of agony. This nothingness was all there was, the only truth in the universe. Everything but this feeling of strangulation had been fake, a fantasy that morons like Naruto were deluded enough to believe._

_Yes…really, this torture was something he had felt all of his life, ever since his father had first given him that cold glare that told him more poignantly then any words how useless his was. This weight of blackness had begun to press down on him then and grown heavier at Itachi's betrayal and heavier again after selling himself like an object to Orochimaru…_

_So now Sasuke had disposed of his body and all that was left was this, this screaming misery that he had always felt in the background whether he was training or sleeping or sneering at Sakura. But he had nothing to distract him here from these feelings, and Sasuke wondered if he would spend eternity here trapped and smothered from all sides, totally alone._

_Ah…but he wasn't alone. Right there before him was Itachi, as plainly visible to him as the darkness itself. He appeared suddenly, and Sasuke wasn't surprised, because that was his brother's way._

_He should have thought of this; it was one more thing to reproach himself for. Of course Itachi was dead, so with his own death it was only to be expected that he'd have to face this monster again!_

_Just one more regret._

"_Foolish little brother…you're the most pathetic human being I've ever met. It isn't any wonder that father couldn't stand you, him or anyone else?"_

_Oh that pressure, that pain, it was so all-consuming that Sasuke couldn't answer to stand up for himself or even to beg for Itachi to stop talking._

"_And that's really saying something, given how pitiful our clan was," Itachi continued. "When you were seven it was understandable that you'd think of our father as a great man and our mother as a beautiful, kind woman. That's just how children think; mother and father are perfect and the center of _my_ world, so they must be the center of _everyone's_ world._

"_That's why I spared you, you know. I felt sorry for you for being so taken in, and I really thought that if I set you free you'd come to realize in time what a favor I'd done you. My mistake—I never thought you'd be so unbelievably stupid that you'd refuse to see the truth of our clan after almost three decades!"_

_That's not true, Sasuke wanted to say, that's not true, otherwise why would you have challenged me to find and kill you? _

_But was this really Itachi? Itachi had always been so cold, so void of emotion, and the man before him was quite different. His eyes alight with malice, he looked at Sasuke with naked sadistic glee. Had death changed his brother this way, or was it not his brother at all?_

"_But no," Itachi continued, "You're the same stubborn idiot who never stopped bothering me about training you no matter how many times I made it clear that I didn't want to be anywhere near you._

"_Well, our family wasn't perfect anywhere but in your overactive imagination, you pitiful little boy. Our family was a military training cell that tried to stick all of its children into one mold. If the child didn't fit they were abused and beaten down until they did—and if that proved impossible they were thrown away. Many people asked me why I thought that human life was so disposable. Well, how could I not?"_

_Well what's wrong with that? Sasuke tried to cry. It's a child's duty to serve his clan, and any child that refuses has no right to call himself an Uchiha! Kinder for both the clan and child to separate._

"_Ah, duty," said Itachi, as though he had heard Sasuke's silent protest. "Your duty as an Uchiha…well what about Fugaku's duty as a father?_

"_Let me ask you this. We Uchiha spent generations doing our duty and where did it get us? When I was a little boy in the compound I was so proud, Sasuke. We policed Konoha with our elite peace keeping force! We led Konoha with our sharingan and genius abilities! We were the elite, the most respected, the greatest warriors!_

"_It took me five minutes outside the Uchiha estates to be rid of that ridiculous idea. Foolish little brother, didn't you notice how no one seemed to miss the Uchiha? How you never found a single ninja who said he was the friend of any one of our family members? Or the way that Konoha policed itself just fine without the help of our mighty father's peace keeping force?"_

_Sasuke was crying now, he knew it. His humiliation could be no greater then it was already, his soul no more torn. Something had broken inside of him—no, something had _been broken_, and now it was shattering into pieces._

"_No one liked our family, Sasuke, no one! They respected our power, but no Uchiha had a friend outside the clan because all of the ordinary citizens knew better then to speak to us. We were arrogant, elitist snobs and nothing more. Worse, we weren't even as good as we thought we were: None of the Sannin were Uchiha. No Hokage was an Uchiha. We were just genetically gifted, rule bound fools with delusions of grandeur, and when others weren't willing to put up with it we walled ourselves into our compound and played make believe!"_

_Sasuke was going to die. He couldn't hurt this badly and live. There was no more protest in him, no more fight, and in his exhaustion he realized how true Itachi's words were._

_And to admit that was the end of him._

"_And now you're trying to rebuild that disaster, that poor excuse for a family? What are you trying to do, ruin Konoha?_

"_You wonder why you're impotent when you're scientifically as capable as any man. I don't know, but I have two theories._

"_The first is that you know somewhere deep down that it's in no one's best interest, least of all your own, to rebuild the Uchiha. You are an idiot, and you are as stubborn as a mule, but there is that streak of kindness in you that was so often your undoing. You're not the kind of man who wants to sire children to abuse into mindless little drones deep down, no matter how much it's been beaten into your head that you should._

"_But that doesn't really explain the lack of desire before your marriage, does it?" Itachi's eyes were clear and dark, his expression calm as could be. It was as though he was reading a newspaper instead of destroying his helpless brother._

"_No, Sasuke, I think there is simply no life in you to give. Father sucked the life out of you with his 'duty' and you beat what remained out of yourself by pushing away any love or pleasure. Those things were for lesser men, not great Uchiha. We had duty!_

"_Father and mother had a lousy sex life, you know. He'd turn out the lights and close his eyes and touch her as little as possible, and when it was over they'd rush to wash themselves and pretend it hadn't happened. God forbid that they have fun or express any affection for each other._

"_There was little life in them, Sasuke, with their guilt and shame and responsibilities, and they passed that on to you…and I made it worse._

"_You cannot create life, Sasuke, because you are not alive. You were never alive. Why did you think that just jumping into a lake would change things for you? This is no different then how you have always been."_

_No, thought Sasuke, I was alive once. There was life in me when I exercised with Naruto, and there was life in me when I realized how frightened I was at the thought of Sakura's death at Gaara's hands. I was alive after my family died because they were no longer able to torture me…it was me and only me who chose to die again by going to Orochimaru._

_Perhaps this is right after all. I chose to become something foul and ugly to satisfy equally foul and ugly people who raised me to think that I should. Kakashi warned me, he told me I had a choice and people who loved me and it was only me who decided not to listen…_

_In the end, maybe this is what I deserve after all._

* * *

Sasuke awoke to feel another's mouth clamped firmly on his own.

Was this a kiss? He didn't think so. He'd never kissed anyone before—Momoko had tried once, but he had looked at her so disdainfully that she burst into tears and never asked again—but somehow he didn't think that his partner was supposed to have their lips sealed over his mouth the way these were.

Then his lungs expanded without his help and Sasuke realized what was happening: He was being artificially resuscitated.

Sasuke gave a weak cough, and the mouth on top of his own disappeared. A hand turned his head to the side and he vomited up a steady stream of filthy water, which felt so much better then it should have.

Weak though he was Sasuke had never felt such pure unadulterated happiness. That hell of pain and shame might have existed in the back of his mind for decades, but being fully immersed in it was worse then seeing Itachi standing over the bodies of his dead parents. At least then he'd had someone else to blame.

To be saved from there, to be pulled out and back into a place where he could speak, move and feel anything other than agony was pure joy to a degree that he would never be able to express. The ground beneath his body, the air moving over his face was glorious, the greatest thing he'd ever felt.

It had to be Naruto. Only Naruto was always there to save him from himself, to anchor him to reality and remind him of the world outside and his place in it.

When he could move, he turned his head towards the sound of the coughing next to him. He opened his eyes and prepared to thank Naruto for perhaps the first time in his life.

But when he saw who sat beside him, all he could do was freeze and stare in shock.

"Congratulations," said Inuzuka Kiba, wiping lake water off of his chin. "You just hit rock bottom."

Sasuke fainted.

* * *

A/N

Ganseki's disastrous attempts to change things were based on some prominent episodes in very modern US political history, but you can find his story in every country at some point in its past. The Uchiha, meanwhile (like the Hyuuga), come from historical noble houses. Contrary to Disney Princess legends, nobles were not nice people. Plus, my explanation for why none of the Uchiha ever seemed to have any friends outside the clan!

I'm going to repeat this because after that ending I know someone is going to ask: There's NO YAOI in this story save for that tiny off-screen mention in chapter 2.

Review please, good or bad!


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Naruto's not mine.

Warnings: Nothing, actually. Go me.

Moving On

Chapter Ten

By Michiru's Mirror

* * *

Konoha Hospital was, to put it mildly, a busy place. Patients came in at all hours of the day with everything from whiplash to sprained ankles to deep stab wounds, so no one had time to be anything but professional and focused while on call.

Behavior during break was a different matter entirely. Those short, blessed rest times were filled with food and gossip, which let the medic population blow off steam and go back to work refreshed.

Just where the staff took their breaks depended on their rank. The official break room was the sanctuary of the higher medics. Small and cramped with a single long table in the center, it was perfect for the short few minute intervals between emergencies that senior medics faced on a daily basis. One could sit, browse through the many file cabinets lining the walls, perch on the table (there was no room for chairs) and nibble on a chosen energy supplement before running off again.

The cafeteria was for everyone else. Unlike the break room, it had windows and no file cabinets to tempt one to work in one's off time. Spacious and clean with several small tables spread out in front of a serving counter, it was perfect for up to a multitude of small groups.

At the moment only three medics sat inside the brightened room, huddled around a small table. Uchiha Momoko was the topic of conversation, as she had been since her impending divorce was announced days ago.

"—don't know how stupid you'd have to be to break it off with Uchiha Sasuke-sama, of all people," said Yoshiko, a brunette desperately trying to hide her age with several layers of makeup. "All that money and privilege! Is she retarded?"

Her much younger friend Noriko nodded, making her blonde pigtails bounce like coiled springs. "Some girls are just total snobs, you know? Think they can do better than the best because they're so hot. I think she's just a bitch."T

he only male in the group, a man in his mid-twenties named Sannosuke, snorted so hard that a few grains of rice came from his mouth. "She's pretty stupid to think that. Look what a pig she is—I'm grossed out just _looking_ at her, never mind what Uchiha-san had to feel _touching_ her."

"Hey, yeah!" Noriko giggled, putting her hand over her mouth in a ladylike display. "I bet she's lying to try and save her pride—Sasuke-sama probably left her when she got that fat!"

"I don't blame him," said Yoshiko sounding disgusted. "She got _all_ that money and _such_ a good-looking husband and _all_ that prestige...All she had to do in return was try to make him happy, and she couldn't even keep herself in shape? That's just so disrespectful, and ungrateful too!"

"Well she's paying for it now," said Noriko, lowering her voice and leaning in towards her friends, though there was no one else in the room. "I heard she was denounced by Hyuuga Hinata-sama as a disgrace. She's been disowned!"

Sannosuke snickered. "It's rare that someone so nasty gets what they deserve so quickly."

"Yeah, gives you hope for justice in the world, doesn't it?" said Noriko, leaning back again.

Though the three sat together at a circular table, their table's placement made it difficult to see the cafeteria entrance. Thus, they first realized that Haruno Sakura was watching them when they heard her fist smash down on the counter.

They turned in surprise and froze simultaneously at the thunderous look on Sakura's face. She looked rather like someone ready to commit murder.

"H-Haruno-sensei..." Noriko began, though she had no idea of what to say.

Sakura cut her off, her voice unusually low. "People who disrespect my personal assistant are disrespecting me as well, since I'm the one who chose her. I certainly hope you didn't think you were going to get away with calling me 'stupid', among other things."

Yoshiko was almost shaking. Sakura was rarely this angry, but when she was, people usually wound up fired. From cannons. "Haruno-sensei, please—"

"Shut your mouth!" Sakura yelled. Moving from a low, controlled voice to one so frighteningly loud was as startling as her words, and all three junior medics flinched. "I'd fire you right now, but you're going to tell everyone what I just told you. I've never tolerated bullying from my workers and I won't start now. I won't work with anyone who thinks it's fun to demoralize others!"

The three huddled together, wide-eyed and trapped in Sakura's gaze.

Sakura huffed in disgust. "_Well_? Get the hell out of my sight!"

They did, scurrying out the door like rats without even grabbing the rest of their food.Sakura punched the counter again, cracking the linoleum surface. Of all the nerve—the Tsuchikage was on his way to Konoha, they might be on the brink of war with Iwagakure, and all those snots could come up with to talk about was malicious gossip on a subject they knew nothing about? What was the matter with them?

_What's the matter with you?_ sneered a tiny voice in Sakura's head, making her sigh. Threatening to fire any medic who acted like a jackass was a stupid thing to do. If Konoha had enough medics to make that a feasible option she'd do it in a second, but in reality there was a shortage. She couldn't just kick them out, no matter how shitty they acted. Now if anyone defied her decree and she didn't fire them, they'd think that Sakura was a leader who didn't mean what she said. That could lead to a lot more disobedience and disrespect.

Shit.

Kicking the counter for good measure (and then cursing at the pain in her toes), Sakura walked out of the cafeteria and up to her office. She'd been hungry, but now she'd lost her appetite. It would be best to get to work.

Mumbling aloud to herself and swinging her arms in dramatic, irritated gestures had people giving her looks of alarm and stepping well out of her way. Thankfully Sakura was too caught up in her thoughts to notice; otherwise she might well have vented her spleen on someone who didn't deserve it.

She reached her office two floors above barely a moment later, slamming the faux-wood door open with wholly unnecessary force.

It was clean.

Sakura blinked, her rage forgotten in the face of her shock. She'd never seen it this clean! The file cabinets weren't overflowing, her desk had no stains on it, she could see through the window behind her desk and the coffee machine had been washed for perhaps the first time in a year.

Momoko's dark head popped up from behind Sakura's desk with a duster in hand.

"Almost finished!" she said, straightening up and brushing off the front of her sensible beige apron. "I just have to get behind the file cabinets—should I do that later after you leave?"

Sakura blinked again. Speech was too much for her.

Momoko cocked her head in confusion. "Haruno-sensei?"

"Ah...right, sorry. Yes. Yes, please get those later. But you know, I don't expect you to be a maid, or to work longer hours then me," said Sakura.

Momoko smiled brilliantly, and Sakura felt a sudden, powerful wave of nostalgia. That had been Momoko's normal smile before marrying Sasuke. "Well there's no point in taking a job if I can't do it right! Now, if you don't need me dusting while you're working, I'll get to work retyping all the old illegible files I found in those cabinets outside."

Marching confidently out the door, Momoko missed Sakura's blush. Was her handwriting really that bad?

Sakura shut the door after her, thinking hard. Momoko was obviously off to a good start, but eventually she was going to hear what people were saying about her. A girl in such a delicate position could easily be thrown into depression by such cruel words, especially if that bimbo medic in the cafeteria had been right and Momoko had been cut off by the Hyuuga.

Sakura couldn't stop the gossip from reaching Momoko eventually, but making friends might help bolster her through the hard months ahead. Poor Momoko didn't have anybody right now, and Sakura's own lack of a social life meant that she couldn't really introduce Momoko to anybody.

But she knew someone with lots of free time and great social life, didn't she? Brightening, Sakura moved to her desk and wrote a note to visit Ino later.

Then she began to work in earnest, because free time meant thinking about Naruto and Ino and all her other friends. Their being in such a precarious situation was bad enough but not being there to help him was unbearable.

Sakura said a small prayer for his safety, though who she was praying to, she did not know.

* * *

When Sasuke woke up, he was in bed...or in a bed, anyway. He didn't think it was his, as the ceiling he was staring up at was covered in mold unlike his own pristine one.

Once he began to look around, he could tell the entire room was a mess. Paint crumbled off the walls, the scant furniture looked ready to collapse, and dusty possessions were scattered about the floor. Sasuke, raised to be obsessively clean, was revolted.

Beside the bed was one of those nearly-dead pieces of furniture, and on the chair was Kiba. He appeared to be dozing lightly, and looked older and more haggard than ever.

Sasuke knew he probably didn't look much better. He was embarrassed and very angry at himself at the way he'd been acting. He had been out of his mind, he knew, deeply sunk into a fugue state brought on by rage and confusion. Oh, the things he'd done—hitting Momoko, throwing himself in the lake, scaring that weapon's dealer.

And yet...There was something else in Sasuke's soul, a tiny shining spark of some emotion he was unfamiliar with. When he had been pulled out of that lake—out of his own darkness—by Kiba, he had felt...he didn't have words for what he'd felt. The pure joy of it, the overwhelming relief…The gratitude and sudden, all-consuming love of being alive that had washed over him were still there, shining in his soul like tiny beacons.

But those emotions were new to Sasuke, and he did not understand them fully. They felt good and proper and correct in a way that just living a life of duty somehow never had, but what was he to do with them? What could he do when his whole life was nothing but one disaster after the next—his marriage was unsalvageable, and perhaps his life as a ninja too. When rumors of his insanity got around, would anyone in Konoha want him around?

Sasuke's first impulse was to get out of bed and sneak out the door before Kiba could wake up. He had to think about these things, and did not want to face any awkward questions. Besides he and Kiba had never been bosom friends.

(Not that Sasuke had ever _had_ any bosom friends, but even so.)

Yet he was alarmingly weak. Just sitting up made his head spin terribly, and putting his feet to the floor made pain blossom in the soles. Looking at them made Sasuke grimace; if he didn't know better he'd think he was looking at one big, infected blister.

"No worries," said Kiba, almost making Sasuke jump. Sasuke scowled, angry at how distracted he was. "There's a medic on the way, so we can clear up the infection and figure out what to feed you to give you your strength back."

Sasuke's usual response would have been to scowl at Kiba and say he did not need the help. But somehow he felt as though he could not be bothered to act so foolishly, and so he leaned back into the bed again and said, "Okay."

Then, after a moment of silence, he said, "Why did you do it?"

To Kiba's credit, he didn't make Sasuke be any more direct. "What, like I'd just let you drown? You're a dickhead, Uchiha, but I don't think even you'd let someone drown if you were walking right past them and could do something about it."

Sasuke was disappointed somehow; he'd wanted more then that. Studying Kiba's face, he saw the wrinkles, scars and cynicism that were signs of turning old at an early age and it struck Sasuke how much he and Kiba had in common. Fleetingly, he wondered why they'd never spoken before.

_Because you never talk to anybody._

He realized that Kiba had spoken moments after it happened. "What?"

When you're out of the hospital, let's go get drunk," Kiba repeated.

Sasuke frowned slightly. "I've never been drunk."

Kiba grinned. "Perfect."

* * *

Naruto stood at the gates of Konoha and tried not to fidget.

He felt so small. The great, majestic wooden gates topped with Konoha's symbol loomed above him, and the wide dirt road leading into the distance seemed to stretch on forever.

To combat the feeling, Naruto tried to remember the first time he left these gates on his mission to Wave Country; he had been so excited he could barely keep from running full tilt down the road. He wanted to feel that excitement again. He knew he was still capable of it, that he wasn't totally lost to misery, for Uzumaki Naruto was not a man to give in to despair. But somehow, that light heartedness was beyond his grasp at the moment.

He wondered if the Tsuchikage felt the same way. The man first became visible as a speck on the distant road, slowly coming into focus as he walked at an almost leisurely pace towards the gate. His retainer could be seen several minutes later, as he was a normal sized man; the Tsuchikage was enormous.

Dark skinned and scarred, Ganseki Tsuyoshi carried himself with an air of poise and confidence that reminded Naruto of the Third Hokage, particularly since he was decked out in his full robes and ceremonial hat. Naruto had to fight himself to keep from immediately taking a liking to the other man.

_Well, why shouldn't you?_ An inner voice that sounded oddly like his twelve year old self said. _When have you been wrong when you decided to like someone?_

_He killed Ero-sennin and Baa-chan,_ Naruto thought stubbornly.  
_  
You don't know that!_

_His people did, he should have been able to control them!_

_You don't know what it's like for him over there, do you? You shouldn't judge so easily._

And while Naruto knew this was true, he couldn't stop a twisting in his heart of both pain and anger.

Ganseki Tsuyoshi was in front of him then, his retainer standing slightly behind him. The retainer was the oldest man Naruto had ever seen, hunched over with a katana strapped to his back. It was the only weapon either man had.

The retainer spoke first. "This is the Tsuchikage, Ganseki Tsuyoshi," he said.

"I can see that," said Naruto. The retainer looked slightly offended, and he realized how rude that might have sounded. "I mean...the hat gave him away," Naruto blurted.

Behind him, Ino bit her lip to keep from laughing. Naruto was _so_ glad Sakura wasn't here right now.

"Um," said the retainer, looking confused. Then he turned to the Tsuchikage and spoke in a language that Naruto recognized as belonging to the Land of Earth. It seemed that the Tsuchikage didn't speak their language, and the old man was there to translate.

Ganseki Tsuyoshi said something while raising his gaze to the square on his head. The old man translated: "It does do that, doesn't it?"

The Tsuchikage's tone was gentle, as though he was reminded of earlier days when he used to be as awkward as Naruto. Naruto almost blushed—this guy was like six years younger then him and yet so much more experienced at all this.

To cover his confusion, Naruto said, "I currently lack the pointy hat, but I'm Uzumaki Naruto, Hokage of Konoha." It hurt to get those words out, but Naruto knew that not calling himself the Hokage could be dangerous. Konoha couldn't appear weak by being without a leader.

Ganseki Tsuyoshi nodded. "It's an honor to meet you. Of course, I have come here to discuss the recent tragedy that has befallen your village."

And there it was. Naruto could hear rustling and murmuring behind him, and knew it wasn't just his guards. How many other ninja were hidden inside the gates, listening? He hadn't even bothered trying to ban people from coming, but instead ordered that they keep their distance.

It seemed like a wise decision now. If the Hyuuga could find any evidence of backup, they would have informed him by now. It seemed Ganseki Tsuyoshi and his old man were really and truly the only visitors here. If all those ninja decided to be offended and attack, they'd be in real trouble.

Which, of course, flew in the face of everything that Baa-chan had taught Naruto about how diplomats worked. It couldn't be denied that no matter how powerful any given ninja was, it was unpardonably stupid to walk alone into enemy territory, especially when you were outnumbered (several hundred to two, in this case).

_But maybe this is a man like you, who never followed the rules he was given, and never listened when he was told that something was too dangerous or impossible._

"I'm listening," he said.Ganseki Tsuyoshi nodded. "I do not know how much your own ninja have uncovered about those who committed such a terrible crime against your village. Please forgive me if I say anything you are already familiar with.

"There are, in my village, many small groups of rebels. One group is—was—larger then the rest.

"They called themselves defenders of traditional values, and their goal, like that of all rebels, was to unseat me so that they could take my village and make sure that their traditional values became everyone's values."

A bitter smile flashed across the Tsuchikage's face, but it was gone in an instant as his composure took over again. In a way, Naruto was reminded of Sasuke, cool and composed in the face of catastrophe.

Well, usually anyway

."And so I must confess my role in this tragedy. You see, I wanted to meet with your esteemed Hokage...for help." This admission seemed to cost Ganseki Tsuyoshi a great deal. Naruto understood; admitting weakness to one's enemies was both frightening and unwise. He had to have a hell of a reason to have done so.

"Tsunade-sama was an unusual woman. Such an elderly lady possessing such a...youthful...spirit is rare, and so she managed to bring both experience and new, fresh ideas to Konoha in a way that I've never seen another leader accomplish. If I could not think of a way to satisfy the conservatives in my village while implementing new policies, which was my greatest ambition, perhaps she could help me."

_Konoha's military might probably didn't turn you off either_, Naruto thought. He didn't say anything, though not because he was learning the restraint that Tsunade had always tried so hard to teach him. It was instead because he was beginning to feel badly for the man before him and didn't want to needle him further. Ganseki Tsuyoshi, despite his outward calm, was probably already humiliated at airing his dirty laundry the way he was.

Naruto was also wary of the way that the younger man kept referring to himself in the past tense.

"I meant to keep the meeting quiet. I was so obsessed with stealth that I wrote the letter with my own hands despite my lack of skill in your language and let only my brother see and deliver it.

"But it seems the rebels found out anyway, and you can imagine their reaction."

"I know what their reaction was," said Naruto quietly, unable to help himself this time.

Ganseki Tsuyoshi bowed slightly, to show that he knew his words had been insensitive. "Yes...yes...of course you do.

"And you know what happened next, of course. In my attempt to call the honorable Tsunade-sama to me, I lured her out into the open where she and her retinue could be killed, and there is no one to take responsibility for this but me."

"Oh?" asked Naruto. "What about the rebels? They're the ones who did it."

"There is some irony in that," said Ganseki Tsuyoshi, "For she and her companion—it was Jiraiya-sama, was it not?—killed them all. She proved far more capable then I, because in her death she accomplished what I had failed to do in ten years of work: wipe out my most powerful enemies.

"Two dozen powerful jounin and she and Jiraiya-sama took care of them all! I would hand over the survivors to you were there any, but your Hokage and Jiraiya-sama avenged themselves even as they left this world. I have rarely heard of—and never seen—such prodigious skill. I can only regret that an alliance was never possible, for there was much I could have learned from them both."

Ganseki Tsuyoshi turned to his translator then, and said something that the old man did not translate. Rather he fell silent, and his wrinkled face became so sad that Naruto felt a pang of sadness just looking at it.

But Ganseki Tsuyoshi seemed unmoved; he simply repeated the same words again in a firmer tone.

The old man nodded, and swung the katana off of his back. Every Konoha ninja present tensed and reached for their own weapons, but the old man made no attempt to unsheathe the sword. Rather, to general astonishment, he bowed and reached out to hand it to Naruto.

"And so that only leaves me," said Ganseki Tsuyoshi through the old man, "And reparation for my part in the deaths of your citizens."

Naruto stared at the katana—rather, he gaped at it, wondering if Ganseki Tsuyoshi was suggesting what he thought.

"I would not have war between our villages," said the Tsuchikage when Naruto did nothing. He was still as poised and clear eyed as ever, and Naruto was almost in awe. "But I cannot ask a village that has been so terribly violated not to ask for justice, and because the villains who were physically responsible for the tragedy are dead, the only one left to punish is the one whose mistakes and cowardice lead to the vulnerable position your citizens were in when they were attacked. That is, me.

"And so, I beg you to be satisfied with my life. There will be no revenge from my people, because I have ordered it so. Justice is yours, and peace can belong to the future of our people."

The old man was crying as he continued to offer Naruto the katana, tears running unstoppably down his face as though his heart was broken.

Naruto knew that the old man had been chosen to come because the Tsuchikage had no confidence that whoever accompanied him would live. This man's family had probably passed away, and all his affairs put in order.

But even so, it was no ordinary feeling of loyalty that made a man risk his life the way this one was doing for his Tsuchikage. That Ganseki Tsuyoshi inspired such loyalty spoke loudly for his character.

Still, Naruto was beginning to see just how things had gotten so bad in Iwagakure, because if all of Ganseki's plans had been as stupid as this one it was a wonder he'd lived this long.

If the Tsuchikage thought that there wouldn't be people who wanted revenge for his death he was delusional. There were people who hated him, but if this old man was any indication there were people who loved him as well, and they'd all be screaming for Konoha's blood. Besides, if Naruto killed Ganseki Tsuyoshi now he'd be leaving a leadership void in Iwagakure that could easily be taken advantage of should Konoha decide to raid and conquer the place. The Tsuchikage was counting on Naruto to act honorably, and that was never something you could rely on even your ally doing, let alone your enemy.

Naruto looked at the Tsuchikage and saw him as he was despite the calm facade he had learned to show the world: A boy in out of his depth, desperately trying to save his village with nothing but his extraordinary honor and courage. He was an exemplary man, but not a very smart one, and a terrible leader—so terrible that he really believed the only thing he could do for his country now was die for it.

Uzumaki Naruto did not kill little boys. Particularly not when he was having a flashback of a twelve year old taking the chuunin exam for the first time and announcing his refusal to give up on an impossible exam. Naruto realized with a cringe that he'd declared his challenge without sparing a thought for the way that decision could make his teammates suffer or how it could ruin his own life. It had been pure luck that he hadn't destroyed his future.

Ganseki Tsuyoshi was trusting to that same luck now. Naruto could no more bring himself to crush that spark of hope in the younger man then the adults training Naruto had been able to bring themselves to extinguish it in him. There was something rare and wonderful and even admirable about it, even if it didn't make a man right for the position of Kage.

And anyway, this guy was really no more responsible for Tsunade and Jiraiya's death then anyone else if he was telling the truth.

Naruto waved the sword away in an undignified gesture that would have had Tsunade fuming, and said, "I think we have a lot to talk about."

They did, too. For all his sympathy, the pain that hit Naruto's chest whenever he glanced at the Tsuchikage's face wasn't going away. Keeping Konohagakure and Iwagakure from wiping each other out was going to be difficult, and he didn't even want to think about what it would be like to create new relations.

But Naruto had had enough of that pain for now. He was really missing the days that he could haul off and punch Ganseki Tsuyoshi, relying on The Adults around him to pull him back and explain why that was immature.

_But no, now _I'm_ the adult. Damn._

The best he could do was say, "Listen, I'm sure you're exhausted after such a long journey. I'll...put you up at the Konoha Inn and we'll talk tomorrow."

Naruto heard a throat clear from behind him, and he turned to see Shikamaru making a formal bow.

"Hokage-sama, if I may suggest, perhaps he should stay at a nearby inn in the city. I'm not sure that your citizens will all be as, uh, forgiving as you, and Tsuchikage-sama will be an open target in the middle of Konoha."

Oh, right. Naruto could almost feel Sakura grabbing his ear and yelling, _You moron_!

"An, uh, excellent suggestion, Shikamaru," said Naruto, desperately trying to keep from blushing and forcing his hand not to go to the back of his head in his habitual embarrassed gesture. "I can send one of my men to show you some of the best options if you'd like."

He turned back to see the old man looking flabbergasted. Even the Tsuchikakge looked a little taken aback.

_He really expected me to kill him._

But the Tsuchikakage rallied himself with admirable speed and made a reply. The old man was too busy gaping like he'd seen a flock of flamingoes go tap dancing by in top hats to translate, so the Tsuchikage elbowed him in the shoulder to bring him back to reality.

"Oh! Um, he says that would be fine and wonders what time you'd like to meet in the morning."

* * *

An hour later, Naruto was on the road to Konoha Hospital. Chouji and Ino had agreed to find Sasuke, while Hinata had ordered Neji to look for Kiba. However far Kiba had fallen, he was still her teammate, and she took responsibility for him in times like this.

"Usually he's just lying passed out in a gutter somewhere," Hinata sighed, "But you never know."

Naruto just wanted to sleep. He had to get up ridiculously early the next day to face Ganseki Tsuyoshi again, and he didn't have a clue of what he was going to say. At the very least he had to get a good long nights sleep or he wasn't going to make it, which was ridiculous because the only physical activity he'd done today was walking damn it!

Hmph.

But first he had to tell Sakura that there were no medical emergencies so she didn't worry. God knew he'd be bouncing off the walls if he'd been left behind to just think about all of his best friends in a potentially dangerous situation.

He followed the winding dirt road past shop stalls and apartment buildings, waving vague hellos at the many people who stuck their heads out of windows and doors to greet him.

Sakura was waiting for him at the hospital, of course. She'd been waiting for him for months. He smiled at her, and said, "Hi."

She smiled back, though she looked exhausted. "Hi yourself."

Naruto took her by the hand, and they headed for their apartment.

* * *

A/N

Next: Naruto and Sakura finally talk about all the problems Naruto's been having and Sasuke gets drunk…if I can fit all that into one chapter. At this point I'm not sure!

Again, the bit about language is totally my creation, since in canon it seems that the whole world speaks just one language.

A big thank you to my beta Ceras Gala, who always helps but really saved my bacon this chapter by pointing out a lot of awkward sentences.

Like it? Hate it? Review please!


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Naruto's not mine.

Warnings: I dunno if there's anything in the traditional sense, but drunk Sasuke is pretty scary to _me_.

Moving On

Chapter Eleven

By Michiru's Mirror

* * *

As soon as Naruto reached his apartment, he stepped into the shower. Baths were wonderful for sitting and relaxing at the end of a hard day, but Naruto loved showers when his head was too full. It felt as though the pounding streams of water could beat those irritating thoughts right out of him and drive them down the drain where they couldn't bother him any longer.

It was working well enough tonight. He wanted to talk to Sakura—well, mostly he did. A part of him still wanted to dive out the window and run for Sunagakure, but he needed a clearer head before he could. Even at thirty-five, he still had a highly embarrassing tendency to blurt things out in a way that could blindside strangers and friends alike. He didn't want to do that tonight.

With his eyes closed and his face tilted toward the shower head, he couldn't hear Sakura's quiet footsteps. Still, he knew she'd entered the bathroom by her chakra signature. He assumed she had come to brush her teeth or something similar, so it came as a surprise when she pulled back the shower curtain and came in.

She pressed her front to him, her small breasts crushing against the small of his back as she wrapped her arms around his front and locked her hands together. Naruto was startled to realize she was fully clothed. It was as though she'd been unable to keep herself away from him long enough to even remove her shirt.

Gently, he raised his hand and put it over her smaller ones.

"I'm sorry," he said, very quietly. "I've caused you a lot of pain, haven't I?"

She didn't say anything but he knew he was right. For months he'd been going to everyone except her for help and advice, leaving her totally alone and without a clue. He had done it because her opinion mattered more to him then anyone else's, and so he'd been afraid to ask her what she thought of something he considered so shameful. But she didn't know why he'd shut her out. All she'd known was that her significant other had suddenly started avoiding her, rebuffing her every attempt to help him and leaving her to fret endlessly about what was wrong.

He knew what it meant to offer someone your love again and again only to have it rejected. It was, after all, what it had been like for him at age twelve when he'd expended so much effort to get Sakura to look at him with anything other then disdain. He had been patient with her actions back then, just as she had been patient with his recently.

That Sakura had gone through the rejection and loneliness for him that he had for her made Naruto realize just how much she loved him. He had always known that she was fond of him, and eventually he'd come to let himself believe that she felt deeply. Now it came to him that maybe Sakura loved him as much as he loved her, and that was a revelation strong enough to almost knock him off his feet.

But he couldn't enjoy this realization fully, because he knew it was he who had caused her so much pain.

How could he have done that, when he knew what it felt like to be treated the way he'd been treating her? What must she have thought when he told her maybe he didn't want to marry her—in the midst of him avoiding her she must have been terrified that he was thinking of leaving her for good. And all he had to do to ward the problem off was tell her what was wrong.

Well then, it was time to do just that! No more suffering for Haruno Sakura, not if he could help it!

Naruto turned the shower off before untangling himself from Sakura and facing her. "Just lemmie dry off and then we'll lie down, okay? I'm exhausted."

"Me too," Sakura sighed as she stepped out of the shower and grabbed a couple of towels from the rack. She tossed Naruto one before stepping out into the bedroom (in two steps, as their bathroom was uncomfortably tiny), dripping water all over the carpet as she peeled off her shirt and vest.

(Surreptitiously, Naruto peeked from the edge of the bathroom door. Hey, the situation was serious but she was still hot.)

She pulled on a nightshirt and climbed into their bed; it was almost too large for the small room, as Naruto tended to sprawl in his sleep. Naruto, clad in boxers, jumped in with her under the white sheets and snuggled up to her side. It would be a nice final memory before he told her the truth and she killed him.

Silence.

Naruto was almost at the point of sweating. How was he going to say this? How could he tell her that all the support she had given him was wasted and the promise he had made since childhood were false?

"So, I don't think I want to be Hokage."

Yeah, okay. That was one way to do it.

* * *

Sasuke stared at Kiba from across a tiny table that looked like it hadn't been washed in several decades. It was furniture that suited the room: small and filthy, with at least two dozen men crammed into a space that wouldn't have been comfortable for half that number. In front of him sat a large mug of beer, which he insisted was his first drink of the evening.

Kiba had frowned and warned him that after several hours, he might well be forgetting all that he'd imbibed. "Are you sure that's your only drink?"

Sasuke thought that was silly, because how hard was it to remember two whiskeys? Of course it was his third drink!

This was, according to Kiba, their third bar of the evening and Sasuke decided to take his word for it, though he wondered if the other two places they'd been to had been quite this repulsive. The men around them (there were, oddly enough, no women) all had a loser vibe about them, which made Sasuke wonder just what impression he was emitting at the moment.

Then he took another sip of beer, half of which wound up on his shirt (which was rapidly becoming unsalvageably stained), and the uncomfortable thought went away.

He put the mug down forcefully enough that Kiba jumped, and said, "Do you know who sucks? My father. My father sucks. Sucked."

Then he found the word "sucked" very funny and began to snicker.

Kiba, who was drinking sake, sucked the liquid back with much more grace then Sasuke had and said. "Yeah. Dads suck." Sigh. "I wish I had one."

"The bastard abandoned you!" Sasuke declared. "Just like fathers do!"

Kiba's brow wrinkled. "I dunno if getting killed counts as abandoning me."

"Don't kid yourself, he did it on purpose. It's a dad thing." Then, to emphasize his point, Sasuke picked up his mug and slammed it down again without taking another drink.

"Oh," said Kiba. "That's so...so..." He was having trouble finding the word he wanted. Staring at his empty sake mug, he came up with: "...unfailing."

Sasuke frowned. "You mean unfashionable?"

"Yeah, that. Unfallable." Kiba nodded emphatically.

"You know what else is unfathomable? My father." Sasuke took another sip that further destroyed his once-blue shirt. By now it had acquired a distinctly sallow tinge. "I was never a human being, no, I was just the latest little Uchiha spawn there to make more little Uchiha spawn so he could say he'd done his duty and die a good Uchiha automaton. Itachi was the only one with the guts to see how fucked up it all was and say no."

Kiba was nodding along, though his brain seemed to be elsewhere. "Fathers work in mysterious ways."

"Yeah," said Sasuke. "Bastards!"

Then he paused, one finger pointing dramatically into the air and his mouth hanging open, until Kiba realized that something was wrong and said, "Dude, where are you?"

"Oh my God," said Sasuke, as though some huge revelation had just come to him. "If I have kids, they'll be sitting here in two or three decades talking about how much they hate me!"

And then, to Kiba's shock, Sasuke's lower lip began to tremble. Waterworks loud enough to make the entire rest of the bar stop and stare at them quickly followed.

"Uh," said Kiba. "There, there."

"My children hate me! I'm a miserable father!"

A few men at the bar only a few feet away heard that, nodded in understanding, and went back to their drinks.

As Kiba was more of a "quietly miserable" sort of drunk, he didn't have the slightest idea of how to handle the very expressive unhappiness he was seeing. "Hey man, it's not just you. All my friends hate me too."

Sasuke, who had buried his face in his hands, peeked out from between his fingers with a more hopeful expression. "Really? You're not just saying that?"

"Nope," said Kiba. "Hinata told me about a month ago that if she had to drag me out of a gutter one more time she'd have me locked up. And Naruto beat the crap out of me awhile ago, if you hadn't heard."

Sasuke looked considerably more cheerful (and slightly smug) as he reached for his beer again. "Well that's okay then. At least Naruto's never beaten _me_ up."

He took another sip, put his beer down, and smiled in a goofy sort of way at Kiba. The smile slowly turned into a confused frown.

"What were we talking about again?"

* * *

Naruto immediately retreated to his side of the bed (for possibly the first time since he and Sakura had moved in together) and put one hand over his jewels before Sakura could rip them off.

_Oh God, this is it. She's going to start screaming that she trusted me and believed in me and that I've betrayed her—_

"Okay," said Sakura.

—_and that I'm a terrible, horrible person who can never, ever have sex with her again—_

Wait, what?

"Wait, what?" Naruto said, looking up (though not yet removing the protection of his hands from his balls.)

"I said okay," said Sakura. She smiled. "What did you think I'd say?"

"But…but…I promised…"

"Yeah well, when I was a kid I promised myself I'd snag Sasuke-kun." Her smile fell into a frown. "Naruto, I know _you're_ disappointed with you for not keeping your promise but don't just assume I'm going to act the same way. I've always thought you set your standards too high for yourself anyway. No one I know is the same person now that we were as kids—well, except maybe Ino-pig—and I don't think that's bad.

"I'm not going to punish you, Naruto. You'll have to do that yourself—and I must say, you seem to be doing a marvelous job."

This revelation was somehow wonderful and terrible at the same time. That Sakura wouldn't judge him, that she would continue to support and love him, was a blessing he'd though impossible. And yet, if she wasn't the one holding him back, that meant it was he who had been blocking himself for all these months.

There was a rustling sound, and then Sakura's arms were wrapping around his shoulders and rubbing them gently.

"I suspected anyway," she said quietly, "Since you looked so…so…_horrified_ when the elders named you Hokage. But still, I can't tell you how worried I was for awhile that the problem was me." Her tone had become slightly resentful. From the rushed way she spoke, Naruto had a feeling that she hadn't wanted to tell him that, but had been unable to help herself.

She sighed. "Naruto, why do you want to be Hokage anyway?"

Naruto looked up at her in surprise. "It's my dream!"

"Yeah, but it had to become your dream for a reason, right? I wanted to become a medic so I could be useful. _Why_ was it your dream to become Hokage?"

Naruto didn't even have to think. His posture straightened slightly as he fell into the familiar refrain. "So that everyone would stop treating me like shit and recognize me as someone equal to them. And, after joining Team Seven, so that I could protect you guys."

He considered elaborating on who "you guys" were, but at this point it was such an extensive list he decided he wouldn't bother. Besides, Sakura knew since they shared the same social circle.

Sakura was silent, which confused him deeply. He didn't know exactly what to expect from her; perhaps an encouraging word, or some advice, or even a scolding. Yet when he looked at her face, she seemed as befuddled as he had when she told him she wouldn't condemn him. It was like he'd said something unbelievably strange.

"What?" He asked finally, when the silence grew too tense.

"Well, it's just…Naruto, what do you think you're doing _now_?"

Naruto felt as though he'd been hit in the back of his head with a board.

Sakura, apparently oblivious to her boyfriend's shock, continued. "I mean, the Hokage protects the village with diplomacy but as an ANBU captain, you protect the village directly. You're free to both defend and go out and proactively seek out threats, right? You choose your subordinates and teach the next generation how to fight, so you're not just taking care of the village now, you're taking care of it for all future generations. The Hokage can't do that.

"And I don't know anyone who doesn't respect you. Tsunade-shishou let you call her 'baa-chan' and the Kazekage lets you speak to him like a little brother. The whole village talks about you like you're the ultimate hero or something—I mean, people throw themselves out of doors to say hi to you when you pass by. And the elders unanimously voted you in as Hokage, didn't they? They couldn't have done that if they didn't respect you, or if they didn't think you'd get support from the people.

"So…what would being Hokage get you that you don't already have?"

For the first time since starting her speech, Sakura looked up and properly saw the look on Naruto's face. "Naruto?" She said, clearly worried.

Naruto had been sure that he couldn't be more surprised then he had been when Sakura told him she wouldn't condemn him for his choice, but that was nothing compared to this. This was the revelation of something that had been right in front of his face for the better part of a decade, something that he hadn't seen because he'd been focused on a goal that didn't suit him.

He'd spent so much time aiming towards becoming Hokage; training to take on the part, suffering through lessons he was unsuited to learn, all for a goal he'd reached years ago.

An average man might never recover from such a revelation. Such a strong and sudden shock, combined with bitterness over the amount of time that had been wasted, could easily make a person sulk, rail and try to blame others for their shortsightedness.

A good man would recover with time. After a bout of sadness or anger at the time and energy he had lost, he could return to his former life and routine with effort and heart.

But Naruto, who was the best of men, felt a chuckle bubbling in his chest. Before he knew it the laughter was spilling from his mouth in little bursts; within seconds he was laughing loud and long, his head thrown back and tears streaming from his eyes.

He leapt across the bed and grabbed Sakura in a bear hug. Giving a squeak, Sakura craned her neck to free her mouth in order to breathe. Naruto didn't have the air to tell her how much he loved her. He only hoped that the message would be clear through how tightly he squeezed.

He had attained his dream. He'd done so years ago. He had the love of friends who supported him and the respect of the village of his birth. He had the power to protect everyone he cared about and a job that let him do it.

_I am Uzumaki Naruto and I'll be the best ANBU captain in the history of Konoha._

_That's my dream, after all._

* * *

Around four in the morning the bar had thrown Sasuke and Kiba out. When Sasuke had asked where they were going next, Kiba had announced that nothing else would be open at this hour. Sasuke grumbled about how irritating this was ("Just like my father!"), but went outside passively enough. Kiba invited his new drinking mate over to his apartment; he had plenty of alcohol stocked up and it was only a ten minute walk.

The cool air felt wonderful on Sasuke's flushed face, and he unconsciously raised his arms so that he could feel it over his whole body. For just a second he felt the world float away; his family, his responsibilities and his anger seemed to disappear.

He'd never thought about taking a moment to just enjoy the air and now he wondered why...

"Holy shit it's Fujikaze Yukie!"

Sasuke's eyes opened with a snap as he looked around to see where the actress might be. "Here? Why isn't she up in Yuki—oh."

It seemed the Konoha Movie Theater was on the way to Kiba's apartment. At the moment Kiba was standing in front of a life-sized movie poster for an updated version of "Kaze to Tomo ni Sarinu" starring Fujikaze Yukie as the new Scarlet.

Sasuke had to admit that the actress really didn't look forty. Actually, she looked pretty much the same as she had when Team Seven had met her over two decades ago. The thought of Sakura looking at the poster and burning with jealousy made him grin.

Kiba was looking around as though trying to find a hidden spy. "Sasuke, can you see anyone?"

"Um." Sasuke looked but couldn't see anyone (as far as his wavy vision would allow). "I don't think so."

Without another word, Kiba turned back to the poster—and began trying to remove it from the wall it was mounted upon.

Sasuke gaped as Kiba swore at the poster and tugged at its edges. "Kiba, what are you doing? You're gonna rip it!"

Kiba grunted and began to use his claws and fangs to chip away at the edges of the poster. Or at least, that was his intent. With his motor functions rather hampered by the copious amounts of alcohol he'd consumed earlier, he was actually banging the poster's corners into ragged folds. The occasional colorful background piece would come apart and float gracefully to the ground.

It was while Sasuke was gazing at one of these background pieces and thinking about how pretty it was when he realized the two were no longer alone. Alcohol was great for cathartic breakdowns and gaining the ability to admire the little things in life, but it apparently didn't do much for one's observational abilities. And you knew those observational abilities were in trouble when you failed to notice Akimichi Chouji stomping down the street.

"What—the—HELL!" Chouji yelled. A flock of sleeping birds took flight, terrified of the loud voice that split the night. Kiba jumped back from the poster and put his hands behind his back like a child caught stealing cookies. "Poor Naruto and Hinata have been freaking out about your disappearance, and you're out stealing cheap posters you could buy in the morning?"

Sasuke stared at Chouji's red face (what an amazing color!) and realized his stomach was feeling strange.

Kiba, looking like a deer in headlights complete with wide eyes and frozen body, said, "...are you going to kill me?"

Chouji looked totally taken aback. "I, uh, wasn't planning on it."

"Oh," said Kiba. And after a moment: "Then I'm running."

And so he did, weaving his way down the street as fast as his drunken legs would carry him. Chouji could probably have caught up, except he looked too flabbergasted to do any more than stare.

He turned slowly to Sasuke, and said, "What just happened?"

"I'm going to throw up," Sasuke replied. And he did, all over Chouji's boots.

* * *

A/N

Ten animated dollars to anyone who knows what Fujikaze Yukie is starring in (think famous American history romances set in the south)!  
The bit with the movie poster is a true story: Sasuke is my Dad, Kiba his friend Terry, the poster of Fujikaze really one of Audrey Hepburn and Chouji is a cop. (Also, Terry apparently asked "Are you going to shoot me?" but as there are no guns in Naruto's world...)

And a big thanks to ScaryHands for pointing out there were a few mistakes I'd missed in the last chapter—I'll go back and correct those.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: Naruto's not mine.

Warnings: This is a transition chapter. Does that count?

Moving On

Chapter Twelve

By Michiru's Mirror

* * *

Sakura rarely had trouble sleeping at night. Long hours at Konoha Hospital, combined with a perennially hyper boyfriend and a best friend who never thought it was too late to go shopping, sapped her energy to the point where she often dropped into bed at night.

When she had been a child, however, she had often suffered from bouts of insomnia. She'd always had something on her mind, which she had chalked up to being a drawback of unusually high intelligence. Often enough she thought about Sasuke, but she also found herself dwelling on her insecurities too often for her liking. Would anyone ever find her attractive? Would she become a competent kunoichi with training? Could she become strong enough that bullies wouldn't rip into her daily and destroy her last remaining shreds of confidence?

Sakura would often cry herself to sleep on those nights, feeling terribly alone and unsure. She never knew where she found the strength to get up again the next day. Looking back on it now, she supposed it was because she had no choice.

She had also revised her old view that intelligence was what kept her up at night. Now, she thought it was because night was just a better time to air your insecurities. She wouldn't be found and laughed at the way she would during the day, or be accused of whining, or be given bad advice about "cheering up". If she could have cheered up that easily, she would have done it without anyone's stupid advice.

Now, at thirty-five, she was considered attractive and confident and bullies approached her at their peril. Maybe that was part of why Sakura found it so much easier to sleep…but there were still some nights where she lay awake, because there were still some insecurities she had yet to banish.

Sakura looked over at Naruto, snoring lightly next to her with a peaceful expression on his face and a line of drool slowly spreading onto the pillow.

She couldn't help but smile. She loved him so much.

Perhaps that was why she was so scared. She hid it from Naruto as best she could, because she knew that there was nothing worse than listening to another's whining. But every new wrinkle that appeared on her face and every stretch mark that insinuated itself onto her body made her more afraid.

It was hardly anything now; just tiny lines that couldn't even been seen unless one was really looking from very close. But Sakura knew they would grow, and often enough when they grew on a woman, the love of her husband shrunk.

Intellectually, she knew Naruto would never leave her. Oh, he'd ogle younger women, look at his porn and make old lady jokes with his friends, because men just didn't realize the bolt of pain that went through a woman's heart when her man did those things. But however saggy or gray or flabby she got, Naruto wouldn't just stop loving her.

Yet in her heart of hearts, she couldn't get rid of the fear. It was a purely emotional, deeply buried beneath the confidence that Sakura had cultivated over decades of hard work improving herself. She often told herself to trust Naruto, because he had earned the right to be trusted, but that fear never left her for a second. It was like an itch she couldn't scratch, constantly nagging at her whether she was working, sleeping, eating…

Sakura gently pushed Naruto's bangs out of his eyes, and smiled when he nuzzled into her hand in his sleep. He was everything to her. Losing him would be the worst thing that could possibly happen, hence this silly, irrational terror.

Yet she couldn't deny how hellish these last months had been for her. Naruto's sudden silence, his declaration that maybe he didn't want to marry, his ruining her carefully planned romantic evening…all of these things spoke right to her anxiety. She had been sure that he was planning to leave her, so sure that when he walked her home from the Hospital with such a serious expression on his face, she braced herself for those awful words: "Sakura-chan, I don't think it's working out…"

Of course he wouldn't say that. He had just lost the most important mentors in life and was off on a diplomatic mission; the state of their relationship was probably the last thing on his mind. Which didn't stop Inner Sakura—who rarely made an appearance these days—from whispering how ugly she was and how she was getting old and how Naruto must have finally been caught by one of those nymphets that hit on him all the damn time…

When he'd told her the real problem, she was so relieved she could have forgiven him anything. And yet, she'd been shocked to hear he had such insecurities. She knew he had personal problems due to his unhappy childhood, but she'd never guessed that he had professional insecurities that ran so deep. Even when the Elders had told Naruto he was to become Hokage and he'd looked so put out, Sakura had assumed it was a stress reaction due to how quickly the title was foisted on him.

Ah, but it was like her and her looks, wasn't it? When she was fifteen and at the height of her perfection, the idea that she would get old one day had never really occurred to her. Age might get other people but it would pass her by, surely. Naruto, it seemed, had been the same way about his future as the Hokage: he never thought that the problems that plagued usual Hokage candidates would apply to him.

The irony was that they had traded problems. When Naruto was kid, he'd been _so_ sensitive about his height and so nervous about the size of his penis once Sai had come along and started jabbering about it. But his skills as a ninja? He'd never worried for a minute that he wouldn't be able to become strong enough to do whatever he needed.

Meanwhile, though Sakura had been nervous about her forehead as a child, she hadn't given a second thought to her looks once she'd hit puberty and filled out. Even if she wasn't a knockout like Tsunade, she knew she looked good by the time she hit her mid-teens. She'd never had trouble attracting her share of male attention, even if the attention didn't always come from men she was interested in. But she lived every day thinking she wasn't good enough to be a real kunoichi, since her abilities were so limited. It became taboo to talk about her ninja abilities because she would get so upset.

Cut to two decades later and they'd switched. Naruto had become the apple of every girls eye (sometimes while he was out, Sakura saw him strut by the various groups of lusty ladies who would eye him as he passed), while Sakura was respected by everyone for her incredible skill as a medical ninja. Meanwhile behind the scenes it seemed Naruto had lost all confidence in his ability to do his job, while Sakura was rapidly losing confidence in her physical attractiveness. It was pretty funny when she thought about it.

But her fear was too real to her to allow her to laugh much.

Sakura snuggled closer to Naruto's side and wondered if he ever worried about losing her. Did he ever have this fear that she'd leave him? She hoped not.

She knew first hand how awful it was.

* * *

Naruto awoke the next morning to the sounds of Sakura banging around in the kitchen as usual. As a man who could sleep all day if given the opportunity, he was horrified to realize he was cohabitating with a morning person when Sakura first moved in.

Sakura denied that she liked mornings. She hated waking up early but there were responsibilities to carry out, things to do, people to meet, jutsu to learn, blah blah blah. Just why she had to do this at the butt-crack of dawn was beyond Naruto's reckoning. And why the hell couldn't she at least shut the bedroom door so he could sleep?

After about a year of slamming the bedroom door to make a point and being totally ignored, Naruto had given up and just learned to live with it. The positive side was that he never had to make breakfast anymore, since she always made enough for him. He supposed that was a decent tradeoff, especially since she had become a good cook.

Groaning, Naruto pulled himself out of bed. He had the Tsuchikage to meet with anyway.

The next hour was spent mostly in comfortable silence. Naruto and Sakura ate breakfast, rinsed the dishes, and walked out the door side by side. They were in no hurry, since Sakura had woken them up so early. Thus they took their time strolling down Konoha's side streets, winding their way towards the center of town.

Naruto took his time looking around the town he loved so much, admiring the simple buildings and smiling people. He felt a powerful wave of affection wash over him; it was moments of quiet enjoyment like this that reminded him of just why he planned to try so hard with the Tsuchikage to make peace. Maybe peace wasn't as exciting as battle, but it sure made for longer lives in human beings.

Twenty minutes after leaving their apartment, Naruto and Sakura paused at a street corner distinguished by a bicycle repair shop. To get to their respective workplaces, they had to part here.

Sakura tilted her head slightly and looked at Naruto from the corner of her eye. "You need anything from me?"

Naruto smiled down at her. Slightly against public standards of decency thought it was, he couldn't help but grab her into a hug and kiss the top of her head (she quickly pulled away, blushing, though she didn't complain).

"Thank you," he said. "But I feel okay. Yesterday was the big day of danger—today is more like hammering details out."

Sakura nodded. "Okay. Take care."

She grabbed and squeezed his hand encouragingly before heading off towards the Hospital. Naruto watched until she was out of sight, feeling calmer and more together than he had in two years. In the back of his mind he was already planning something special, both out of gratitude for her help and out of guilt for ruining her special dinner a little while back. He could make things up, and the two of them would be able to move on together after that.

He just had to take care of business first.

* * *

For the second time in two days, Sakura was left speechless at the sight of her office.

"Do you like the color?" Momoko asked, screwing the top onto the paint can.

Sakura did, actually. Momoko had changed the walls from a terrible flower pattern to a dusky rose color that was pleasant to look at. The old wallpaper had been peeling anyway, and Sakura had planned on having the walls repainted, but this safely counted as sudden.

"But…how did you know?" she asked.

"Oh, well, I found the note on your desk that said you wanted to repaint the place, so I thought I'd save you the money and time." Momoko smiled hopefully up at her boss.

"…How did you know the color I wanted?"

"I asked!" said Momoko. "Went around the office to see what everyone had heard so I wouldn't have to bother you. Everyone agreed this was a good choice."

Sakura's first response was to scold the girl, to tell her that working this hard was not conducive to starting her life over. She had to start finding friends and family outside of work before she buried herself in labor and never learned how to be social.

But looking at Momoko's painfully longing expression, Sakura couldn't bring herself to say anything of the sort.

_Love me, please, praise me, tell me I'm worth something…_

"This is incredible, Momoko!" said Sakura, turning away and pretending to admire the walls, so the girl wouldn't see how disturbed she looked. "Why, it must have taken you hours!"

Sakura didn't need to see Momoko's face to hear the elation in her voice. "I'm so glad you like it!"

A smile pasted on her face, Sakura turned and said, "It's lovely." She was relieved to see that Momoko was fooled by the happy façade.

Beaming, Momoko began to clear the office of paint cans, spread newspapers and scattered brushes. "It's almost dry, so just keep the window and door open for now, please," she said as she left.

The smile slid off of Sakura's face after she departed. This was just disturbing; that her assistant was so eager to please could get her into serious trouble if unscrupulous bully types got hold of her.

It made Sakura wonder again about the rumor that Momoko had been kicked from the Hyuuga household. The more she thought about it, the more the idea troubled her; they couldn't blame Momoko for Sasuke's abuse, could they? They couldn't be that cruel to a girl who had been so badly treated and neglected, especially when she was one of their own…

Of course Sakura knew from experience exactly how nasty the Hyuuga elders could be; it was more that she couldn't believe Hinata would be that cruel. Wasn't it her job to see that all of her people were taken care of? Why couldn't she look after a child of her clan who was in so much pain and so confused? What right did she have to turn her back on someone who depended on her?

She couldn't understand it, and didn't really want to; in fact, what she really wanted was to give the Hyuuga leader a good punch in the nose.

Sakura made a mental note to avoid Hinata for awhile. She didn't trust herself to keep her temper.

* * *

Hinata's view of the situation was, of course, entirely different from Sakura's. While Sakura concerned herself with individual people, Hinata always thought of the welfare of her clan as a whole.

Momoko had shamed the Hyuuga. She had taken on a duty to help rebuild the Uchiha clan and tie it to her own. Not only had she failed, she'd outright given up after just a couple of years. And why—because Sasuke hadn't paid enough attention to her? Hinata could think of Momoko as nothing but shallow and selfish. She had undergone a small amount of suffering and chosen her own welfare over the welfare of her people. If she was going to destroy relations between the Hyuuga and the Uchiha, then she could do it on her own. She would get no support or aid from those she had thrown away.

It was the view of a woman who had undergone such hardship that she had grown old before her time, and lost sympathy for those who had not suffered as she had. If Hinata could bear up under the horrors that she had seen, then so could everyone else, and no excuses.

Yet, there was someone who Hinata had to admit she had a weakness for: he was lying on the small twin bed in one of the Hyuuga compounds many guest rooms, sleeping off the hangover he'd acquired the night before with Uchiha Sasuke.

It was one of the guest bedrooms reserved for people who weren't particularly important. Everything in it was small, from the beds to the windows to the overall area, and the walls were a plain white, totally void of decoration. It was acceptable for Hinata to put Kiba in a room like this, because all Hyuuga knew that the Inuzuka were an inferior group of people. Emotional, low in power and totally lacking in dignity and manners, Kiba's clan was an embarrassment to Konoha.

But because Kiba had been Hinata's teammate, she had a duty to care for him. It was all right for her to let Kiba into the Hyuuga residence—occasionally—as long as he was reminded of his place in the order of things. No special treatment or frills.

That was her clan's official position, and Hinata followed it with her every outward action. But she knew that her feelings for him went far beyond what a good Hyuuga should feel for a lowly Inuzuka and she wasn't happy about it.

Looking at Kiba now, Hinata couldn't help but be angry at him for what he did to her; it was not her duty but weakness that made her continue to take care of him after years of binges and embarrassing behavior.

But she couldn't help it. Kiba was the last relationship she had that connected her to her childhood, to that time when she was Hinata instead of Hyuuga-sama. Hinata had loved Naruto and lost him to Sakura, loved Neji and lost him to his own rage, loved her father and lost him to his duty, loved Shino and lost him to death. Even Kurenai had dropped out of her life after the birth of her child.

Hinata had tried and tried to cut Kiba off, to bring herself to tell him never to darken her doorstep again...and yet whenever he came stumbling to her door falling down drunk she simply couldn't turn him away.

Hinata supposed she could tell Kiba the way that his self-abuse was destroying her. She could say that he was the last link she had to love and friendship, rather than duty and hardship. Watching him kill himself with grief and alcohol was almost unendurably excruciating; it meant that he was drifting farther and farther away from her, and when he was gone she would be nothing but Hyuuga-sama.

But she would never speak. She had learned too well to keep her silence in the face of hardship, to keep her feelings to herself lest they be scorned or used against her. She would die before telling Kiba that he meant anything to her, let alone everything.

And so, when Kiba woke up in a few hours time, she would say nothing at all. She would give him only a look of profound disappointment and time to take a shower before showing him the door.

Kiba thought that she hated him, and Hinata knew it. He was sure that she was only taking care of him out of a sense of duty, because he had once been her teammate and saved her life innumerable times. She wondered sometimes what Kiba would do if he knew that he was loved. Would it motivate him to clean himself up? Would it give him the strength to stand on his own two feet again?

Tell him, whispered a part of Hinata's brain as she watched Kiba shift in his sleep. Tell him you need him...

But Hinata knew, with soul-deep despair, that she had lost the ability to say words like that before she'd even hit puberty. Watching over Kiba and cleaning him up as much as she could was all she was able to do.

...But now, there was someone else.

Now it seemed Kiba had acquired a drinking buddy, someone to share his depression, for Uchiha Sasuke lay in the twin bed next to Kiba's. Hinata had been astonished when Chouji had carried not one but two unconscious bodies to her door a couple of hours before dawn. Then, when the surprise had worn off, she'd felt hope for the first time in years.

Maybe, just maybe, if Kiba made a friend he could talk to...if he had found someone who understood him...

"Please, Sasuke," Hinata whispered to herself, so low that even Kiba's enhanced hearing wouldn't have been able to pick the words up. "Please save him."

"Please, please, please..."

Hinata repeated the word under her breath until Sasuke woke up to stumble into the bathroom hours later, and began to repeat it again when she was alone. It was a prayer to the universe, to God, and to an Uchiha nobleman who had no idea of just how important he had become.

* * *

At about the same time that Sakura was worrying for the sanity of her assistant and Hinata for the fate of her friend, Naruto was arriving at one of Fire Country's finest inns: The Bluebird. A large, modern structure with a beautiful garden in front, The Bluebird was famous for its spectacular view, its gourmet restaurants, and its tight security. Ganseki Tsuyoshi was not the first foreign visitor to Hi no Kuni who needed a lot of protection.

Naruto was bowed through glass doors by a besuited man and entered a waiting room composed mainly of marble and wood. Sakura would love this place—she always enjoyed elegance. He'd have to take her here for a getaway sometime. Though the hotel was close to Konoha, it felt almost like it was part of a whole different universe.

The Tsuchikage's suite was no less impressive. Wide and spacious with huge windows (that Naruto was sure were proofed against just about any weapon known to ninja-kind), the largest bed Naruto had ever seen and a separate "living room" area, the space looked like an expensive condominium.

The Tsuchikage himself was sitting at a mahogany table in the middle of the plush, carpeted living room, sipping a cup of tea. His retainer was sitting respectfully in the corner of the room. To Naruto's surprise, Shikamaru was sitting across the table from Ganseki while Temari was lounging next to him. Both wore the same clothing they had the day before and had their own mugs of tea.

"I take it there was no sleep last night," said Naruto dryly.

Ganseki Tsuyoshi stood, smiling. As before, his retainer translated his words. "Welcome, Hokage-sama. Your diplomat found me a lovely room, but then we began talking and I'm afraid we lost all track of time."

Naruto took the seat between Temari and Ganseki Tsuyoshi and accepted the tea that the retainer brought him with a "thanks".

"I assume you're talking about what our next step has to be?"

Shikamaru nodded, and Naruto noted with an internal smile that hid friend wasn't at all tired. It had taken years for the teachers and squad commanders of Konoha to realize that Shikamaru's lazy nature sprung from boredom. His amazing brain power allowed him to understand so much so quickly that very little was challenging to him. Everything was painfully simple, and thus it was uninteresting.

It was Asuma that first saw Shikamaru's eyes light up when the two of them first played shogi. Here was something that exercised his mental faculties enough that it was exciting enough to put some effort into.

This planning session was the adult version of that childhood interest. Two countries were on the verge of either war or friendship, and the result hinged on what happened here in this room. It was enough to make most diplomats run away screaming; for Shikamaru, it was the strategic exercise of a lifetime.

"We've ruled out taking on the rebels in armed combat. There's too many of them. Even if Suna and Konoha team up with Ganseki-sama to fight, we'll suffer staggering losses. Plus, with every one of them we kill, we'll be convincing people on the fence that the Tsuchikage really is a mad young dictator with no respect for the traditions of his people…"

"Which will incite more of them to join the various rebel groups," Temari finished. "But it's not like we can just go in there all peaceful either—even with the most powerful rebel group wiped out by Tsunade-sama, there's still plenty of older curmudgeons and mid-level ninja who could overwhelm with sheer numbers."

"But whatever we do," said Shikamaru loudly, obviously irritated that his wife had cut him off, "This is the time to get it done. The rebels are seriously set back by the loss of their most powerful jounin group, and they can't blame Tsuchikage-sama for those deaths because it wasn't anything he ordered or was responsible for…"

Ganseki Tsuyoshi grimaced slightly. Obviously, he still considered himself responsible.

"…So now is the ideal time to step in and get things done."

And if Konoha and Suna were involved in helping the Tsuchikage implement his reforms, that would mean a major new ally, and greater safety for all three villages involved, Naruto thought to himself. But that part was so obvious that no one present bothered to say it.

"Maybe moving defensively would be best in this case," said Naruto. "Start putting your reforms into place, and just keep everything well guarded—with heightened security from Konoha and Suna the rebels could be kept out."

"Particularly since they're busy fighting each other," said Ganseki Tsuyoshi. "There's so many different groups of them and they all disagree on the most important thing they need to fight, and how to deal with me, and whether or not they're even on the same side."

"Not too surprising. Idealistic types won't give an inch on any issue presented to them, not even to their own," Temari sneered.

Ganseki Tsuyoshi nodded. "Right. Quite frankly, I'm alive now because the rebel groups haven't been coherent enough to figure out how to assassinate me properly. If they banded together, they'd have Iwagakure under their control within weeks."

"Then defense sounds like a good strategy," said Shikamaru. "Each of these rebel groups will attack different reforms you try to implement depending on which of them is offended by which reform plan, and we'll be able to catch them one by one."

"…Which leads to the question of how we deal with them," said Naruto.

"Cut off the head and the body dies," said Temari. "Gaara—I mean, the Kazekage-sama—has had a lot of success killing leaders. If a group of rebels shows up, it's usually a few bullies at the top brainwashing the weak minded. Killing the leader means the followers are without direction, and it also makes Gaara look merciful because he spared as many lives as he could while still protecting public safety."

Naruto was amazed to see how much his friends had grown. The way that Shikamaru had learned to combine his job with his interests was impressive, an example Naruto hoped to follow. And Temari was showing remarkable restraint in her temper; she had become a great diplomat, forthright without her childhood aggression or rudeness.

He wondered how they saw him now. Was he the Hokage in their eyes?

Even though he wasn't planning on keeping the job, while he had it, he'd better act like it.

"Then it's time to start laying out plans," said Naruto, sitting up straighter. "Temari, you should probably head back to Suna right away to get this news to Gaara—you can send a messenger bird ahead of you so he can start preparing. It's up to him to decide how much of Suna's resources he wants to spend on this—"

_If any at all._

"—So we need his approval before we can really plan out security arrangements."

Temari nodded. "I'll leave right after settling a few details." Her gaze drifted to Shikamaru, which made Naruto suspect that a lot of yelling over who got the kids was going to commence after the meeting. He was unspeakably grateful that Temari had become mature enough to wait until she and her husband were alone.

"Shikamaru, that's going to leave you in charge of figuring out security. You're going to be working with Ganseki-sama on a timetable and the resultant number of ninja that're going to be needed. If that's all right with you, Tsuchikage-same?"

"Fine," said Ganseki Tsuyoshi warmly. "Nara-san seems to have a most impressive grasp of strategy."

Naruto grinned. _Buddy, you have no idea._

* * *

At 8 pm Sakura managed to get off of work, after a particularly grueling surgery involving a chuunin with shrapnel buried in his left leg. But her day wasn't over yet.

It had been no problem convincing Momoko to stay a little late at the office; the poor girl was so eager to please that she almost burst with happiness at the implication that her boss needed her.

Sakura made a mental note to be careful of what she said to Momoko in the future. Someday she might casually mention that she wanted to go to a concert and go into work the next day to find tickets sitting on her desk.

When Sakura walked in to her office sweaty and covered with blood, Momoko was ready with warm, soapy water and a washcloth. Sakura was grateful; she didn't want to go where she was going looking like crap.

The two women set out into the dark night, enjoying the cool breeze that ruffled through their hair and blew their cares away. Moments like this were precious in the hectic—and often short—life of a ninja.

Still, as they walked further, Momoko began to get a little nervous.

"Haruno-sensei, where are we going? Is that the Akimichi compound over there?"

"Yup," said Sakura cheerfully. "Have you ever been?"

"Um, a couple of times." Momoko smiled in a fond sort of way. "My three-man-cell had Akimichi Shota-kun in it."

"Really? You know, he's up for the jounin test this year. He's become a hell of a taijutsu expert." They reached the front gate of the compound, a huge black iron gate with bars bent into majestic animal shapes. Sakura rung the front bell to the right.

"Is he? Maybe I can congratulate him toni—"

A figure came bounding towards the gate with great speed, and before Momoko could finish her sentence, Akimichi Ino had thrown the gates open and squealed, "FOREHEAD!"

"PIG!" Sakura and Ino embraced for the first time in about four months, with a shocked looking Momoko gaping at them from the side. Except for the meeting to plan Naruto's confrontation with the Tsuchikage, during which they'd barely had time to say hello, Sakura had been too busy for them to talk.

"Oh my God, you look fabulous!"

"Not as good as you, did you lose weight?"

"You're such a liar, I look like bloody Buddha. Did you do your hair, it's gorgeous!"

"Ah, you noticed! I swear, I've gone through so many hairdressers in the last three months…"

"I know, they're just impossible, total talentless loons!"

"Talentless? Is that a real word? Excuse me, are you really a medical expert?"

"Pardon me, piglet, I didn't realize the average housewife whose expertise lay in 'floor mopping' and 'bedtime story reading' got to talk to me about my intelligence."

"Well now you know better. And you have no idea how hard it is to get three kids to sit down long enough to read a story to them. You're getting too old to have your own, you know, I think I see a gray hair…"

"What? You do not, you fibber, and at least I don't weigh—"

A frightened squeak broke the two women out of their usual banter. Momoko was gaping at them both with wide eyes and holding her hands in front of herself as if for protection.

_Oops_, thought Sakura.

"Oh Sakura, is this her? She's adorable!" Ino beamed at Momoko and stepped closer to the girl to inspect her better. "It's lovely to meet you, Momoko-chan!"

"Y-y-you too…uh, Akimichi-san…"

"Don't be ridiculous, Ino is fine. Now come on, I've got all sorts of stuff planned for the evening!"

"What?" Momoko turned her terrified gaze onto Sakura, suddenly realizing she was being dragged into a social situation instead of a work errand. "Stuff? Evening? Plans?"

"Yup," said Sakura cheerfully. It wasn't nice to laugh at the other girl's discomfort, so she held it in. "I unfortunately have no social life anymore thanks to my job, so I asked Ino here to help you around Konoha, since you've spent so much time at home the past two years that you're a little out of date."

"What…but…wait…"

"Come on, Momoko-chan!" squealed Ino, grabbing Momoko by the hand. "Let's get you some new clothes!"

And with one last squeak of fear, Momoko was pulled bodily into the Akimichi compound and disappeared into the darkness.

"Later, Forehead!" Ino yelled behind her as she shut the gate and went bounding towards her and Chouji's home.

Making sure to hold back her giggles until Momoko was inside, Sakura set off towards her apartment.

_Ah well. In a few years Momoko will laugh about this, too…_

* * *

A/N

Sorry for the wait, these chapters are getting harder to write. I know where I'm going, but getting the scenes to mesh together and fixing the time frame right to get Moving On to its ending is challenging me a bit. Don't worry, I'm not giving up on it or anything…I just plan to make sure the ending comes out right.

"The Bluebird" is a tribute to one of my favorite Takarazuka plays.

As pretty much everyone guessed, "Kaze to Tomo ni Sarinu" is the Japanese version of "Gone With the Wind". It seems pretty well known over there—it was a plot point for a recent TV show (Byakuyako), influenced a major anime character in the popular 90's shoujo anime Wedding Peach, and was turned into one of the most popular Takarazuka musicals ever (and that's just the stuff I can think of off the top of my head).


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: Naruto's not mine...or is it?

Warnings: Currently unbetaed. Please feel free to point out mistakes.

Moving On

Chapter Thirteen

By Michiru's Mirror

* * *

Naruto couldn't help feeling nervous. Of course, he'd felt nervous so often recently that he was actually beginning to equate the feeling with his new job title, but now in particular he felt butterflies in his stomach.

It might have been because he was seeing Shikamaru and Temari off with the Tsuchikage. Naruto knew it was his imagination, but when he walked up the Konoha's main gates to say goodbye, he saw Tsunade and Jiraiya standing by Ganseki Tsuyoshi's side.

It was only for an instant. He gasped and rubbed his eyes until his vision returned to normal and he could see his friends as they were, but the image remained burned into his brain. Naruto felt ill. More than anything he wanted to order Shikamaru to stay in the village, to announce that he, Naruto, was going to go with Ganseki Tsuyoshi instead.

_But you're the Hokage,_ a little voice inside his head reminded him. _You can't go._

The sad truth was that even if Naruto had been free to go, he wouldn't have been a good choice. The situation between the Tsuchikage and his people was so delicate that sending in someone who hit first and asked questions later like him would be a disaster. Iwagakure had all the power it needed—now it required a thinker.

Naruto had spoken these thoughts aloud last night in bed with Sakura, trying to convince himself that he was making the right decision. She had smiled at him and said:

"Don't sell yourself short." Gently, she snuggled closer to his form and put her head on his shoulder. "As I recall, after Tsunade-shishou's death it was me who wanted to swing first and you who realized we had to ask questions."

"Well yeah, but that was just because I had to think about everyone's safety." Naruto sighed. "I remember when Shikamaru lead a bunch of us after Sasuke way back when Orochimaru had kidnapped him. And after it was all over and Neji and Chouji were almost dead, I heard that Shikamaru was so scared for his friends and so ashamed that he had failed to bring Sasuke back, that he cried."

Sakura nodded. "Yeah, I heard that from the nursing staff."

"Shikamaru_doesn't_ cry," said Naruto. "He bitches and moans and sometimes yells when Temari is involved, but he doesn't cry. But with all that responsibility on him…it even took _him_ apart and his brain is about a thousand years ahead of mine. What's it going to do to me?"

He was astonished to hear Sakura giggle. He was being serious, damn it!

"What's so funny?" he almost snapped.

"Listen to you," she said, grinning up at him from the crook of his shoulder. "You sound like a reliable, responsible Hokage."

Naruto wasn't sure whether to swell with pride or glare with irritation. Whatever combination he managed to come up with sent Sakura into hysterics.

Still, she had a point. Maybe he wouldn't be so bad for this job after all. Of course, Shikamaru was still the best candidate…usually. At the moment, however…

On the Thursday night he'd heard Temari had returned to Konoha, Naruto had gone to visit Shikamaru's home, assuming she'd be there. It was a nice place in a suburban area, the kind of place that Shikamaru had decided on back in his genin days. Small and neat, it would be good for him to provide for a normal, simple wife and two or three normal, simple kids.

Of course, it was a terrible place to put Temari up. She needed more excitement and hated the mundane neighbors who had, "All the ambition of tree sloths on depressants". It was even worse once the couple's many children had come along, since Temari fully encouraged them to be as warlike, tough, and loud as they liked.

Shikamaru had nearly been thrown out by his neighbors at least eight times now.

When Naruto arrived at the small gray house, the sound of screaming children let him know which one was Shikamaru's as usual (he'd never even had to bother to remember the address). He knocked on the door, and then did it again with more force when he realized no one inside could possibly hear a politely light knock.

The door opened to reveal a haggard looking teenage girl with hair almost the exact shade of Temari's. "What?" she snapped.

Naruto considered telling her not to talk to the Hokage that way, but he had a feeling this girl wouldn't care if he was Hi no Kuni's daimyo. In the background a little boy was whacking a little girl repeatedly over the head with a huge couch cushion while a slightly older girl was running circles around them making fire-engine noises.

"Um," said Naruto. "Are Shikamaru or Temari here?"

"Mom's asleep. Dad's at Uncle Chouji's." With that, the girl made to shut the door.

"Hang on!" said Naruto, catching the door in his hand. "Just…look, tell your mom the Hokage needs to see her tomorrow morning in his office, okay?"

The girl nodded and then shoved the door shut, almost making Naruto's wrist break from the force. Swearing and shaking his hand out, Naruto turned around and headed for the Akimichi compound.

Once there he found Shikamaru pacing around Chouji's living room, mumbling to himself and occasionally snarling something like, "How DARE she!"

"Yeah," said Naruto to Chouji, who was standing beside him in the doorway, looking rather put upon. "So Temari kicked him out?"

"_Again_," said Chouji. "Watch this. He's going to do this for awhile, and then he's going to swear to high heaven that he'll never go near her again. He'll spend a while talking about how he hates her guts. Then in a few weeks they'll be having marathon sex on their kitchen table and start all over again."

"I'm REALLY divorcing her this time!" Shikamaru yelled loudly enough to make both Naruto and Chouji jump.

"She's only been in town for, like, three hours!" said Naruto.

"Apparently something he did before she left made her mad enough to boot him to the curb the second she got in. Maybe he wouldn't let her take the kids."

Naruto put his head in his hands. "This is ridiculous. I need them at a meeting tomorrow so we can discuss our options with Iwagakure."

Chouji grinned ruefully. "Well, don't underestimate their dedication to duty. If nothing else, Shikamaru is a man who knows how to separate his personal and private lives, right?"

Naruto had to admit that was true. He again went back in his mind to Shikamaru's first mission as a squad commander, and how his friend had been willing to put the lives of his friends at risk to do his job. He'd hated doing it so much it had almost killed him, but he'd done it. In fact, the only time Naruto could remember Shikamaru not being completely professional in his leadership was when he'd taken Team Ten out to avenge Asuma. Even then, he'd allowed Tsunade to assign an outsider, Kakashi, to watch over them.

Yes…Shikamaru could do what he had to. Still, out of courtesy, Naruto left him alone that night to vent his anger and cool off.

And indeed, to his relief, Temari and Shikamaru were both very professional at the meeting the next day. They were cool towards each other, and didn't look at each other once even when discussing tactics, but personal problems weren't discussed. They didn't even raise their voices.

Temari's news was good. Gaara had agreed to give money and shinobi in aid. He left it to his sister to decide the details, as he was busy leading his men in battle with bandits on the Suna borders.

Temari warned both Naruto and the Tsuchikage that thanks to those bandits she couldn't promise much help, but she'd brought back a few three-man teams to boost ranks. If anyone could match the Iwagakure ninja in terms of sheer brutality and thick-headedness, it was Temari and her men, so that was quite a blessing.

Naruto stood now at the gates of Konoha at the butt-crack of dawn, struggling to keep the expected amount of composure for a Hokage as he sent his domestically-challenged friends off into unknown and dangerous territory. Chouji had agreed to take care of the children, since neither parent wanted to take them into a war zone.

"He's a good guy, Chouji," said Shikamaru.

Ganseki Tsuyoshi stood tall, somehow effortlessly attracting the awe of everyone around him. All near him were cowed by his aura, and conversations grew quiet as talkers came closer. Reverence filled every voice, even those of Konoha ninja who had been screaming for the Tsuchikage's blood only days ago.

Naruto was amazed by the crowd. It looked like dozens of shinobi had turned up to volunteer their services or see off the five teams Shikamaru had decided to take.

He supposed this meant the Tsuchikage's arrival in Konoha and his overtures of peace had already gone a long way in repairing the relationship between their two villages. There was no going back now; the radicals in Iwagakure would kill him just for this new alliance.

Still, Naruto didn't condescend to Shikamaru by "warning" him about how dangerous this would be. If he'd thought of the risks, there was no way Shikamaru hadn't.

So instead, Naruto watched Shikamaru and Temari give characteristically restrained goodbyes to their children and friends. He admired Ganseki Tsuyoshi's elegant farewells, and wondered how the younger man managed to be formal and friendly at the same time.

Then, he watched as the small party disappeared into the horizon, leaving only dust clouds and memories behind them. He was proud that he didn't yell after them to come back.

* * *

Actually, except for his nerves, Naruto was feeling better than he had in a week. Not usually a man to hold grudges, he'd been so angry at Sasuke recently that he hadn't been able to shake it off for days.

Even now Naruto scowled to think of how worried he'd been about the other man's safety. The way he'd disappeared into thin air had scared him badly enough that he'd been unable to sleep. Chouji arriving with news had been such a relief that he'd almost sagged to the floor. He was so happy to hear that Sasuke was even alive that he'd thought he'd be able to handle any news about his, Sasuke's, condition.

…Until he reached the Hyuuga estate. Naruto was led to one of the smallest, most out-of-the-way buildings in the compound and greeted by Hinata. She exited a small bedroom, gesturing for him to be quiet, and explained what had happened in the hallway.

"What do you mean he was _drunk_?" Naruto yelled as soon as he'd heard the news.

Hinata looked a bit taken aback by Naruto's obvious fury but rallied herself quickly. "Yes, it seems he and Kiba decided to hit the town."

"And the pavement," Chouji mumbled from behind him.

Naruto ignored him. "Do you mean to tell me I've been awake all night for this? Sakura-chan has been calling me every five fucking minutes from Konoha Hospital to see if there's been any news, she's so worried—she's _running_ over here now!"

Hinata shrugged. "I'm afraid I don't know what to tell you."

"You don't have to tell me anything, but there's an Uchiha who's going to be real sorry as soon as I—"

"You never shut up, do you?"

Everyone froze as the door Hinata had come from opened once again. Sasuke emerged, his eyes red and his hair and clothes a rumpled mess. At least he'd had time to take a shower before Naruto came.

"What are you doing here?" he said coldly, trying to stand on his own two feet and mostly managing.

"Apparently nothing important. What the hell were you thinking just disappearing like that?"

"I was thinking I'm an adult with the right to go out and get drunk if I want to, as long as it doesn't interfere with my work. Kiba does it all the time, why aren't you yelling at him?"

"_Because_ he does it all the time. You've never done anything like this, and suddenly just up and disappeared—do you know how worried we were?"

"I don't recall asking anyone for their concern," said Sasuke. His voice could have frozen a field on a warm day. "If you choose to waste your time in places where you're not wanted, you can hardly blame other people when you get snubbed."

He turned to Hinata and bowed formally. "Hyuuga-sama, thank you for all the trouble you went to. I'll—"

Nobody present found out just what it was Sasuke was planning to say, because Naruto pushed past Hinata and threw a punch before he could finish his sentence.

A small part of Naruto yelled at him as he attacked. _What are you doing?_ It cried. _How did this help when you did it to Kiba weeks ago? Aren't you supposed to be more mature than this now?_

But maybe that was part of the problem. He was trying so hard to be a Hokage and think ahead that he just couldn't do it anymore. Or maybe it was just that, more than anyone else on earth, Sasuke had always been able to get under his skin. However Naruto developed, however grown-up he became, he'd never be more than twelve years old when it came to Sasuke.

Sasuke blocked Naruto's incoming fist and threw a punch of his own. Naruto ducked under the blow and tackled Sasuke in the gut, sending them both crashing back into the room Sasuke had come from.

There were no jutsu or curse seals used; there wasn't even any technique. Just fists and tackles and the joy of slamming each others heads into walls.

_Why can't you see how worried I am about you_? Naruto wanted to yell. _Why do you always make me suffer this way? Can't be you be anything other than selfish for a single moment?_

But if he wasn't selfish, he wouldn't be Sasuke and if he wasn't Sasuke, he wouldn't be the man Naruto had come to love so much.

And Naruto knew he wouldn't be himself if he didn't stand by those he loved until the giving took his last breath. Maybe _that_ was why he lost control with Sasuke so quickly. Maybe a part of Naruto hated Sasuke for making him care so deeply.

He couldn't be sure of the reason. He just knew he was pissed.

With a roar, Naruto slammed an elbow down, aiming for Sasuke's face. Sasuke moved so that his elbow hit the ground with a painful crack and then rolled the two over so Naruto was under him. He threw a punch and grazed the edge of Naruto's face; Naruto struck back with a palm to Sasuke's nose.

Sasuke reeled back, swearing, with blood pouring from his nose but didn't stop. One foot smashed into Naruto's shoulder, nearly dislocating it.

The two were stumbling to their feet when Sakura appeared behind Hinata and Chouji, who were standing open mouthed in the doorway.

"What the hell are you doing?" she shrieked.

Naruto usually listened to her—especially when she was using her You-Are-So-Dead-voice—but when he got this angry nothing anyone said stopped him. He ignored her totally and readied another punch.

_It's none of her business anyway!_

Before he could throw it, Sakura made the fight her business by grabbing his arm and flinging him back into the bed behind him.

The bed had Kiba on it; he was filthy and smelled terrible. As Naruto landed, he let out a grunt and woke up.

"Whazzis?" Kiba mumbled, trying to sit up.

Naruto sat up in time to see Sakura push Sasuke into the wall.

"All right!" she snapped. "Now you're going to tell me what's going on or you're going to be glad I'm a medic."

Sasuke and Naruto exchanged a sullen glance before glaring down at the floor.

Chouji stepped awkwardly through the doorway, his hands held up in a gesture of peace. "It's nothing, Sakura. Sasuke just got a little drunk and Naruto overreacted because of his worry—"

"DRUNK?" Sakura yelled, rounding on Sasuke. "We've been up all night worrying and you've been DRUNK?"

"Enough."

Hinata's quiet command was enough to freeze everyone where they stood. She walked in between Sakura and Sasuke as Naruto picked himself up off the bed (leaving Kiba still blinking confusedly).

"My home is always open to friends in need of aid but it's not the place for your family drama," she said. Though she didn't raise her voice, it was clear that Team Seven was being scolded, and all three felt slightly ashamed. "I won't tell you how to run your affairs, or what to do with your time, but I'll thank you not make me regret letting you in."

There was a collective hanging of heads as Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke avoided Hinata's piercing gaze.

"Sorry," Sakura finally said, because Naruto and Sasuke both had too much pride to say it.

"That's quite all right," said Hinata.

"Now, Uchiha-sama, I believe you were going to tell me something?"

Sasuke's face was sour. "No, Hyuuga-sama, I was just thanking you for your care. I'll take my leave."

And so he did without another word. His clothes were rumpled and Naruto bet he had a hell of a headache, but it was clear that Sasuke would rather go out into Konoha's streets looking like a vagabond than spend another second in his company.

Naruto was fairly eager to leave himself. After dispensing awkward words of gratitude to both Chouji and Hinata he hurried out the door, Sakura a pink shadow in his wake.

He made it about three blocks before exploding. "What's the MATTER with him? I've never met anyone so determined to cause me grief! He's worse than Kakashi-sensei and Orochimaru combined!"

"It's not that he wants to cause you grief," said Sakura, "It's that he doesn't care if he is."

She sighed sadly and grabbed Naruto's hand. "He does have a point, though. It's not like it's our job to look after him—I mean, he is an adult. I heard him say that before you punched him, that he's an adult, right?"

"Yeah. But, so what? I'm an adult but it would suck if you weren't here to help me."

"Sasuke doesn't want to need anyone," said Sakura.

"I know," Naruto replied. "And look how well he's turned out on his own. What the hell suddenly made him go and get drunk?"

"Well…he's going through a lot right now," said Sakura. "I can't really talk about the specifics, but he's been at the Hospital a few times—"

Naruto immediately grew alarmed. "Is he okay?"

"Physically, he's fine. It's just…some of the mental problems he has. And now Momoko's left him and it's like…I think he feels he'll never achieve his dream. He's worked so hard to rebuild the Uchiha clan and it looks like that's never going to happen."

Naruto digested that. It made sense—losing a dream was a traumatically awful thing to happen. Hell, the way that he himself had been acting in the last few months was proof of that.

Sasuke acted invincible when he had a goal to strive for. But now…?

"Well," Naruto said finally, "If he's lost one dream then he just has to find another one to work towards."

"That's a great idea, but I don't think he knows how."

"No one knows how," said Naruto. "But, Sasuke's always been strong! He's feeling off balance right now if what you say is true, but he'll find his way again.

"It just takes time."

* * *

At about the same time that Chouji and Naruto were staring at a raving Shikamaru, Sasuke was out with Kiba again getting drunk.

Sasuke was not exactly pleasant company but Kiba enjoyed hanging out with him nonetheless. In Konoha it was rare to find truly downtrodden, miserably depressed people. Usually if a ninja was that far gone they'd kill themselves or get killed on a mission.

Kiba tried that route. He'd spent years volunteering for dangerous assignments and waited for an opponent's kunai to do what he lacked the courage to. Yet all he'd lost were body parts; he himself always wound up returning to Konoha and the alcohol he kept in his apartment.

And then he'd heard about Sasuke's circumstances. Imagine, a person as miserable as he who had also miraculously escaped death for so many years, wandering around Konoha! The comfort Kiba had taken from the idea was incredible.

Now, after hanging out with the man for a week, Kiba realized he'd been wrong: Sasuke was not as pathetic as he was. He was worse.

Kiba had never felt so much pity for another human being. He knew what a loser he was now, but up until his late twenties he'd lead a great life. He'd had a lover he trusted, friends who cared for him, a close family that supported him and a job he enjoyed. Sasuke had very little by comparison.

Without realizing it, Kiba had begun to examine the memories he'd repressed for so long with alcohol and work. At first he'd been simply curious to find the differences between Sasuke's life and his own but with time he'd begun to enjoy the task for its own sake. It didn't hurt as badly as he'd thought it would.

He remembered his twenty-fifth birthday, when his mother suddenly decided she wanted to cook for him as an expression of love. Tsume hadn't cooked since she was fourteen, to the relief of Inuzuka everywhere who had almost been poisoned by her, but disapproving whispers of her lack of an "Okaa-san no aji (1)" had made her rethink never making food for her children.

So, she had come up with some god-awful concoction of meat and vegetables that were so overcooked he couldn't tell which was which. His first reaction was to withdraw from the table in horror, but Hana had kept her dog Kanemaru on his back and swore that she'd have him eat Kiba alive if he complained…

"Shit!"

Kiba was jerked out of his reverie by Sasuke's loud expletive and brought unwillingly back to the present, where Sasuke had come up with the idea of repainting Kiba's apartment.

Kiba frowned as he examined his living quarters with a slightly fuzzy eye. He didn't think it was so bad. All right, it was cramped and a little moldy around the edges. And there were pizza boxes and beer cans scattered over all available surfaces. And, okay, maybe the paint was an ugly shade of puce that was peeling at the edges and a smell like rotting meat was hanging around the place, but _still_. Sasuke could have taken more than one horrified look at the place before announcing that everything had to change, the snob.

The idea of changing it himself had come after downing a six pack of beer. Digging through the bowels of Kiba's closet, he'd come up with a brush missing half its bristles and a can of mostly-congealed green paint. Declaring this find "brilliant", he set to work on a random spot on Kiba's wall. It was looking more and more like it had been puked on as moments passed.

"Are you sure you don't wanna change into an older shirt or something?" Kiba had asked, eying the expensive material Sasuke was clothed in.

"Oh please," Sasuke said, turning so Kiba could see the Uchiha fan proudly displayed on the back. "I haven't spilled anything since I was two."

Kiba had refrained from pointing out that he hadn't tried to coordinate himself when quite this drunk before either. Now, watching Sasuke swear with paint all down the front of his shirt, Kiba wasn't sure whether to laugh or say, "I told you so."

It turned out that he didn't have the time to say anything, because Sasuke grabbed his lone arm (and another six-pack) and went running out the door.

"Sasuke…what…"

"This shirt is an heirloom! Centuries of precious Uchiha history are imprinted in its every stitch! I won't let a can of paint beat it like this!"

And with that dramatic war cry, Sasuke dragged Kiba into the night.

Sasuke continued to talk about the noble history of Uchiha weaving but Kiba couldn't concentrate. As Sasuke pulled him down back roads and through crowds of people, his mind floated back to his loved ones: Shino and Hinata, this time.

Being alone with Shino had its advantages but Kiba always loved spending his time out of bed with them both. When he was alone with Hinata, she would stutter and never say a word; when he was alone with Shino, he would get lectures about responsibility. When the three of them were together, on the other hand, there was an atmosphere of comfort that would make Kiba want to burrow into somebody—hell, whoever was closest, really—and just relax.

He thought of one night a good twenty years ago, when Hinata wasn't Hyuuga-sama and Akamaru and Shino were still with him. Evening had set in and Hinata was chasing fireflies with Akamaru barking at her heels…

Kiba was jerked back to reality again by Sasuke coming to a sudden stop. They were standing in front of a small home repair supply shop that was clearly not open. A short, balding little man, halfway finished with drawing the security bars down over the door, was staring at the two in surprise.

"Ah," he said, his eyes darting back and forth between the two drunk figures, "I'm afraid we're closing for the night."

"It'll just take you a second," said Sasuke. "I need paint thinner!"

Kiba groaned. "Sasuke, I don't think—"

"Sir, if you just wait until tomorrow I can answer any questions much more thoroughly than I can tonight."

"What's to question? I have a stain on my shirt and need to get it off!"

The man looked flabbergasted. "Sir, I don't think that's really the way to do it."

"Excuse me, is this paint?" Sasuke pointed to the stain. "And isn't paint thinner supposed to do what its title suggests and thin paint? Give me the damn thinner!"

In the next moment, Sasuke was splashing thinner wildly over the front of his shirt. Behind him, the man was moving to close up his store as quickly as possible before the weird drunk men could think of anything else.

"_Yow_, that burns!"

Sasuke began to tear his shirt off but Kiba wasn't paying attention. He remembered this place now…he had met Akamaru here.

Kiba slowly stepped away from the frantically stripping Sasuke and stared down the street.

The Inuzuka compound was just blocks away. He had shunned it for years now but it was impossible to forget. He had been four years old when his mother had dragged him down here to the paint store to grab some god-awful shade of pink that Hana wanted for her bedroom.

Tsume had begun talking with the store attendant, a young woman, while Kiba had kicked rocks outside the store. He had been about to yell inside to his mother, to tell her he was _bored_ and wanted to go _home_ when suddenly he felt…

Felt…

Even thirty one years later Kiba didn't have the words to describe the sensations that had come over him that day. It had been the feeling of not being alone, like there had been a missing piece in his soul that had just been found and replaced.

The little boy froze in the road, unable to understand what his heart was telling him. He had straightened up and stared ahead, just as he was doing now so many years later, as a small dog came bounding up the street.

_I found you!_ The dog yelped gleefully as it ran_. I finally found you!_

But wait. Kiba blinked and shook his head out to try and clear the hallucinations from it. Powerful memory though it was, there was no reason for him to actually _see_ Akamaru running towards him. Yet he could actually, physically see a dog coming…

How strange. Kiba squinted at the figure; it wasn't Akamaru. It was a bigger, older dog with fur so black it shone blue in the moonlight. But that shit-eating doggie grin, Akamaru's grin, was on its face as it barreled down the street. It jumped over rocks and leapt around people as it came forwards, its—no, _his_—eyes on Kiba and his tongue hanging out from its excitement.

_I found you!_ He barked. He jumped one last jump right into Kiba's chest; both dog and man tumbled to the ground. _You've been gone for so long and I've been so lonely but now I've finally found you!_

Kiba wrapped his arm around the beast, _his_ beast, as the dog bathed his face with his tongue and yipped his excited greeting over and over.

Kiba had been found. Again.

* * *

A/N

(1) Okaa-san no aji: Literally "a mother's taste". In Japan, when children come home from an absence, a mother is expected to use her special, motherly instinct to prepare the kid's favorite foods as an expression of her love. When I told people my mother didn't cook, she was immediately assumed to be a cold and unfit mother.

I never realized how much fun it would be to write Shikamaru and Temari! I was only planning to cameo the two of them as divorcees, but Temari beat me up until I changed my mind…Next chapter will be mostly them.

The bit with the paint thinner: another true story.


End file.
